Frustrating experience

I'm kind of fuming about this & thought I'd share it here as I'm sure many of you will share my frustration. My baby sister just had her first baby about 5 weeks ago now. The birth went very smoothly, breastfeeding had a bit of a rocky start, but with good support & good info things seemed to be settling into a good (pain free - yay!) routine.

Fast forward to yesterday. My sister took her baby in for a check up. OB mentions that she's not quite gained as much as they would like, but doesn't really say anything else. Then, as my sister is strapping baby into car seat at the end of the appointment, OB says she's not really concerned but she's going to give her a Rx for domperidone because it's possibly a milk supply issue & she would like her to schedule an appointment next week to follow up. If baby isn't where they want her, than she'll need to supplement with formula. Whuck?!

So sister & I have a long chat this afternoon. First I asked if baby has lost weight? Nope. Do you know what baby's weight was? Nope - too upset to ask. (I'm guessing that since OB wasn't really concerned it's likely a small difference between where she is & where she "should" be.) I ask my sister how often is baby nursing? Every 2 - 3 hours during the day & usually no more than a 4 hour stretch at night. She's nursing for a good 20 minutes each time, with good sucks & swallows. How are her diapers? Wet at every change and at least 1 big poop + a few smaller poops every day. How's her fussiness? Fine. She usually sleeps well after nursing, sometimes she's fussy in the evenings. Seems normal. So, how are you feeling? Do you think it's an issue with breastfeeding or supply? Nope. Although she was wondering about how much she's spitting up - she meant to ask about it, but forgot.

After this hour long conversation I said I genuinely didn't think she had anything to worry about (she agreed) & I said to go to the appointment next week, see what's going on (I fully expect baby's going to have a growth spurt in the next week & be ahead of what they're expecting), but if not & they say she needs to give her formula, tell them no, she isn't going to do that but she would like a referral to the local breastfeeding clinic where they'll be willing to help her solve the actual issue.

My sister summed up the whole thing rather succinctly, "After telling me over & over & over how important breastfeeding is, how beneficial, how it's the best for me & baby, the first 'problem' I encounter & their first suggestion is to switch to formula?!"

To me, this illustrates exactly how & why the system is currently failing women in their breastfeeding journeys. My sister said that the doctor didn't ask her any questions at all about what was currently happening with breastfeeding, didn't observe a nursing session, nothing at all that would possibly place her in a position to evaluate the breastfeeding relationship other than to weigh the baby. She simply offered a Rx (which is kind of an issue because if the problem is an over active supply & baby's not gaining because she's only getting foremilk than giving her a galactalogue is the last thing she needs) and formula. Why wouldn't this doctor say "We're a little concerned about her weight, if she hasn't gained enough by next week, we'd like to send you to the breastfeeding clinic. They're qualified there to help you find out what's going on & find a solution"? I mean, doctors refer patients to specialists all. the. time. Why is breastfeeding any different??

Sorry for the mile long rant. But I do feel better having gotten that off my chest so, thanks for reading!

 

I totally agree. It is really said that so many doctors sabotage breastfeeding for so many women and their babies. I can't tell you how many times I have heard that same story from my friends and family.

 

SO SO SO frustrating! I wish I would have had more support with the twins, so I wouldn't have fallen down the slippery slope of supplementing! (I got to 7 months of nursing - mostly because you all supported me so wonderfully!)

My friend just had her 6th baby, and is having difficulty with the baby gaining weight. She won't even go to the ped appointments - she makes her husband go - because of the hard time they give her about nursing! Seriously people???

It is so sad how much we are told breastfeeding is beneficial, and then the doctors don't back us up! GRRRRRR

 

I'm glad your sister has YOU to be her advocate. Otherwise she may have just followed the docs orders. A Rx is surely a last resort, and to suggest it so frivolously seems irresponsible.

 

This is exactly what I was thinking! Why not try to solve the problem with BM before abandoning it?! :headbang:

 

That bothers me too. The health care system does really send the message that breastfeeding is so important at first. When I was in the hospital they were absolute nazis about putting the message out there. But it seems to be all for show; at the first sign of trouble they go to formula so quickly, and if you are really dedicated to breastfeeding you mostly have to find your own resources. The quality of LC's is so variable; it's really a wonder that anyone at all continues to breastfeed past a few weeks. I am very glad your sister has you to help her think through this, so many mamas out there don't have an advocate.

 

It is hard when you feel sabotaged while breastfeeding. I have come under attack by my family and ped(not the one I have now but one I had with another baby) As hard as it is, we as breastfeeding moms, have to stay strong and stick to our guns. Don't let friends, family or even a Dr talk you out of what you know is best. There is a time and place for formula. I have a DD who was by all definitions allergic to my milk. No mater what I ate, she cried projectile vomited and got bloody diarrhea. I had to give her soy. If that is an only option then by all means we must care for our kids, but if you want to breastfeed then don't let the naysayers get you down. I have had to learn to stick to my guns even with doctors. I was told more than once that my 3 yr old who was exclusively breastfed was too small... I would just say "OK" and node my head and smile then go home and continue doing what I was doing.. she was growing was smart and thriving.. so what if she wasn't as big as a chart said she should be. Find support, in family friends or support groups and keep going. God gave us breasts for a reason as much to our husband dismay it was not for them! Glad there is so much support around here for breastfeeding moms!

 

I think this nails it on the head. When it's needed, I'm glad we have it! What gets my goat is that for your common, every day, run of the mill breastfeeding road bumps, there are usually many, many, many options for solutions that don't include formula, or supplementing of any kind and yet we've all heard the stories - baby's not gaining like we want? Supplement! Baby's not sleeping long enough? Supplement! Baby's fussy? Supplement! Your nipples hurt? Supplement! Etc, etc, etc. With a relatively small amount of education in this area, our health care providers could be doing such a better job of genuinely promoting & protecting breastfeeding rather than just paying lip service to its benefits. :gah:

Can you tell I'm still fuming about this??

 

That's frustrating! I have such a great pedi's office now. There's a Dr. and GREAT nurse practitioners. When Spencer wasn't gaining weight, they did refer me to a lactation consultant. It wasn't covered by my insurance though, which is another thing that is wrong with the system. He's now a super healthy (still nursing twice/day) toddler who is going to probably tower over all his siblings.