Frustrated

So I presented my birth plan to the doc at my 36 week appt today, and one of the things I specified is that I want to recieve the baby for his first bonding/nursing within the first hour of birth after my scheduled csection. Last time with the twins it took more like 2-3 hours, and that was very frustrating for me. I noted in my plan that vaccinations, shots, bathing, and other non-essential/non-medical care could wait until after this initial meeting, and that as long as staffing is sufficient and we are both otherwise healthy, I want my baby brought to me in recovery. Doc was not all that positive about this. She said that often the peds. staff insists on an hour of monitoring before the baby returns, and that bathing is a standard of care right after birth (why? Noone could tell me. I've heard that leaving vernix on a while is actually beneficial). I told her that if that is true, why do vaginal birth moms get to nurse immediately and attend to their baby before they are taken away for care, in most circumstances? And most of the pediatric recommendations I've seen show that nursing within the first hour is really crucial. IT really really bugs me that they make this less of a priority after csections compared with vaginal births, when I would be perfectly able to nurse and bond with my baby in the recovery room. Has anyone else dealt with this? If so, how did you get your way, if you got your way at all. I just feel like hounding them with shouting, "gimme my darn baby!" over and over until I get my way, but I know with med. staff temper tantrums aren't very effective. Darnit. I"m already frustrated I can't have my vbac, and feel that natural experience has been taken from me because of my first vertical incision c section, and then they can't even accomodate a simple request to hold my own child? Double Darnit! :angry:

 

I have not had a c-section, but I was looking at your post. That does sound crappy. I agree with you, what's the big deal? You are mom. Sorry. I would be mad to. I hope you find a way to work it out.

 

When I recently had my appointment at the hospital I was talking to the midwife about what I wanted and she said no matter how pushy the doctors are its your decision, as long as its not life threatening why cant they put off a bath for an hour or too. I think you should be able to do what you think is best.Good luck with everything. :hug:

 

After my c-section, I had Becca in my arms as I was rolled across the hall to recovery. The nurse bathed her and helped me nurse her (don't remember the order) while I got sensation back in my lower body.

 

Shame, shame, shame on your OB!!! His behavior is just plain shameful! To get in the way of a mother bonding with her baby! You are absolutely deserving of having a natural birth experience with your baby. A csection doesn't mean you cannot have a natural experience between you and your baby. I'm sorry you are not able to have a vbac but you can make this experience yours by having your wishes met.

I didn't have my baby bathed when she was born. They say the vernix is a protective coating for the baby and has some form of antimicrobial fighting power. There are medical journals that confirm the benefits of vernix.

There is NO REASON for your baby to be separated from you. Give me a break, hospital policy or some weak, lame excuse is just plain evil to keep the baby from the mother. I would learn and repeat loudy this phrase, "I DO NOT CONSENT!" Tell your doctor beforehand at an office visit that you absolutely WILL NOT consent to any hospital policies unless there is a TRUE medical reason to have your baby separated from you. Have your husband the watch dog. These OBs act like they are in control of everything, it makes me sick.

I hope and pray you have the birth experience you envision. You deserve it. You may also find the ican website (www.ican-online.org) helpful in dealing with your previous csection, etc.. that's only if you need it. I find ican very helpful and supportive.

Below is a study that confirms the benefits of vernix. I hope you find it helpful.

ETA: I also want to add that you don't need to explain yourself to your doctor. You can say "just because it's my baby and not yours" It's your right.


Antimicrobial Properties of Amniotic Fluid and Vernix
Caseosa Are Similar to Those Found in Breastmilk

Akinbi, H. T., Narendran, V., Pass, A. K., Markart,
P., & Hoath, S. B. (2004). Host defense proteins in
vernix caseosa and amniotic fluid. American Journal of Obstetrics and
Gynecology, 191 (6), 2090-2096. [Abstract]

Summary: In this study, researchers analyzed samples of amniotic fluid and vernix caseosa (vernix) from healthy, term gestations to determine the immune
properties of these substances. Participants were pregnant women admitted for elective cesarean section after 37 weeks gestation with no prior labor and no
signs of chorioamnionitis (intrauterine infection). Women with a history of prenatal fever or premature rupture of membranes, or who received steroids
prenatally or antibiotics during delivery were excluded, as were women whose babies passed meconium in utero, had congenital malformations, or required
prolonged resuscitation after birth. Amniotic fluid was obtained by amniocentesis to determine fetal lung maturity prior to elective delivery. Vernix was gently
scraped from the newborn's skin with a sterile implement immediately following delivery. There were 10 samples of amniotic fluid and 25 samples of vernix
obtained.

 

Of 5 babies, I wasn't able to hold 2 of them right away. With my first, there was meconium in the amniotic fluid, so NICU staff was there to check her out right away (about 1/2 hour). With one of my twins there was a little bit of respiratory distress, so again, they had to check her out for awhile... turned out to be about 2 hours. But the others came out of my body and were placed on my chest (I nursed my twin A while still in labor with twin B... the one who had a few issues). Now I know it's a little different because I didn't have c-sections, but barring a health problem with the baby, there's no reason for them to not be able to be with you right away. And I agree, I think Drs. are wonderful, but they can sometimes be programmed to believe that they know all and their every whim should be followed. Stick to your guns, and have them bring your baby to you! It wouldn't hurt to do a little research to bring with you to prove your point, but ultimately (as PPs said), this is your baby and it's your call!

 

Thanks so much for the support and advice. I had heard the vernix is beneficial, too, thus one of my reasons for outrage at this bathing policy. I've also tried to contact ICAN, but noone ever contacted me back. It seemed like such a great organization, but for some reason the chapter near me was mysteriously silent. I think everyone is right, I just need to put DH in charge of insisting baby be given to me ASAP. I'm actually a little more concerned now because it seems like what my doc is saying isn't normal. Up till now, I've had good experiences with her with my twins, but unfortunately now is not the time really to be considering changing, what with the csection scheduled in 2 1/2 weeks. I technically COULD do it, but I don't think it would be the safest option going to someone who knows so little about me. Thanks though because all your supportive words are helping me build up courage to stand up when I otherwise would normally be a passive personality.

 

You know, the idea about DH in charge is great and it reminded me... With both my babies I had someone in charge of the babies, if they went to the nursery for some reason or I was unavalable to answer a question, this person would go with the babies. This person knew all of my requests and what I did and did not want. At the hospital here they take the babies (after about an hr or two if I remember) to the nursery for blood test and security attaches an alarm to them. They were only gone for about 30min and I was ok with that, but knowing someone like my mother was there watching them made me feel better.

 

QUOTE(mel&3 @ Nov 14 2008, 02:50 AM) [snapback]1069707[/snapback]
Up till now, I've had good experiences with her with my twins, but unfortunately now is not the time really to be considering changing, what with the csection scheduled in 2 1/2 weeks. I technically COULD do it, but I don't think it would be the safest option going to someone who knows so little about me. Thanks though because all your supportive words are helping me build up courage to stand up when I otherwise would normally be a passive personality.


I'm really sorry about ICAN. I know it's been a great help for me. I even attend the monthly meetings and we often talk about our birth experiences. Even though we've heard them before, it seems to be very healing. Your story reminded me of a mother from ICAN who didn't see her baby for 2 hours. The baby is 2.5 years old and it still crushes her when she thinks about it. She talks about it and only cries. She's even put off getting pregnant again so as to avoid that happening again. I really feel for her.

With my twins, even though my delivery/recovery was pretty hard (long story) my husband was the watch dog. The babies were ALWAYS in his sight and he could care less who he pissed off. He didn't even shower until the fifth day at the hospital (we were there 6 days) because he was nervous they would remove one or both of them from our room. I was pretty out of it for a couple of days so he was on duty

Again I feel for you and your situation. To be completely honest with you... IF I were you, I would switch. I know it seems late in the game but I switched with my most recent baby at 36 weeks and thanks be to God it was a glorious experience. You most definitely can find a doctor you like. What I would do is find your "tribe" in www.mothering.com Here is the specific website to get to your "tribe". http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=76

If you scroll down you should find the state you are living in and post in that forum. Tell them what's going on and you were interested in finding a new doctor. They should be helpful. Recently, there was a woman who was looking for a vbac friendly doctor. The twist was she was pregnant with twins and wanted a vbac. I knew of a great midwife group in a hospital and the OB in charge is super natural. He accepted her and she switched. She couldn't be happier. It's nice to help each other out in these situations, especially something as special and personal as birthing. Again I hope the best for you!

 

Mama, you can refuse ANYTHING you want. They might have standard practices and policies, but these are by no means written in stone, even if they act like they are. As the previous poster said, tell them loud and clear that you do not consent. If you tell them that you do not consent and they do something anyways, they are opening themselves up to lawsuits. They like to act like you have no choice, because it's easier for them if they can go along with their routine and not have to do anything special.

 

I worked in L&D. We treated our c/s babies the same way we would our vaginal babies. We would try to have the baby up to the nursery to be checked out about an hour after birth as long as everyone was healthy and there wasn't a reason to bring them up before hand. If the mom was breastfeeding the baby then the nursery was even more liberal letting them come up a little bit later. I'm sorry that you were getting push back from your OB. I agree that immediately after birth is an important time to bond with your baby.

 

QUOTE(skybluepink02 @ Nov 14 2008, 07:21 PM) [snapback]1070593[/snapback]
They like to act like you have no choice, because it's easier for them if they can go along with their routine and not have to do anything special.


This statement is so true!

 

Is this really common to take babies somewhere else to be checked out??? I've had 5 children in 2 hospitals, and they do everything (checking them out... after letting me nurse and snuggle them, bathe them, etc) in room, unless there's an emergency. Even when the NICU staff checked out my oldest (who's close to 11), they did it in my room. I'm a nervous nellie and wanted my babies with me the entire time. Even when I showered, I'd roll their bassinet into the doorway of the bathroom so I could keep an eye on them. The only time one of my babies wasn't with me the entire time was with my little Sabrina (twin b) who had a little respiratory distress. DH went with her to the special care nursery for that couple of hours.

 

QUOTE(Dielle @ Nov 14 2008, 02:28 PM) [snapback]1070660[/snapback]
Is this really common to take babies somewhere else to be checked out???

Dielle, with my twins (sch. c-section), they were born healthy and were brought to the nursery to get cleaned up. I don't have anyh idea how old they were when I got them. I was in the recovery room for sure.
to the OP... talk with your doctor. Even though with Evan, I had a VBAC AND I had that I wanted him in my arms ASAP after the birth as possible, but I watched him for 15 minutes getting cleaned up before I got to hold him. Good luck!

 

I never thought about it but if you are both ok then why wouldn't they?? With my c-section - while they stitched me up they gave me something to make me sleep so in recovery I slept . I remember seeing them for a second and they were whisked off I didn't even get to touch them at that point!! Ava had breathing issues so they took them both to the nursery. I think they were 4 hours old before I held them. but with all 3 vaginal deliveries I nursed them at just minutes old. even my ds#2 who had breathing issues about the same as Ava.

things that make you go hmmmmm????

 

My c/s babies, the twins, were also taken away for awhile. In my case I think it's because the OR was the size of a closet (and looked like one too!). There just wasn't enough room for their bassinets in the room. I was also really out of it during my c/s because my bp dropped really low. So unfortunately I had to wait what seemed like forever to see them. They told me that they wanted their temps up and my temp up too before they would bring them, but when I finally insisted that I wanted to see them 'NOW' they did bring them to me. I ticked me off that so many other people got to see them before I really had the chance. Put your foot down. Talk to the ob/gyn again. Talk to your pediatrician too. Go in a bit early for your c/s prep and talk to the nurses as well. Sometimes just having a friendly nurse who knows exactly what you want can make it happen. I think it's often a case of traditional procedures more than malicious intent to disturb the mother or infant's natural bonding. They do things simply because that's how it's 'always' been done, not necessarily because they are trying to make you upset or because of a real medical reason. And some people, nurses especially, might get their panties in a bunch over procedure or schedules getting messed with because of being under time constraints and pressure themselves. But that's just too bad. It's your baby you should be able to insist on this. I don't think the ob will really care since after the baby comes out he/she isn't really under the ob's care anymore.