Frustrated with SIL about baby middle name

So here's the story: My husband's middle name is Samuel as is his father's middle name. Well my SIL decided that when she had her last baby she would use that middle name for her son. That was three years ago and it kind of pissed me off that she didn't even ask if we might want to use that middle name if we were to ever have a boy, but whatever. Well now being pregnant and finding out the sexes of the babies tomorrow, we are narrowing down our names. For a boy we have decided on the name Reece, but can't think of a middle name. My husband's initials are RSC and he wanted his son to have the same initials. We were talking about using Samuel since it is both his and his father's middle name, but remembered that my SIL already took it. I guess I am just angry that she never came to us and asked us if we might want to use that for our baby if we had a boy and that it was a family name for my husband's family. When she took that name, she said she wanted to use it so her son could be named after my husband and to honor him. Ugh, I know it might be stupid, but I realize that there aren't that many names that begin with "S."

*Also my FIL is not the father to my SIL, why couldn't she use her father's middle name or anything on her husband's side!

 

I don't think this is worth getting yourself worked up over, there will be plenty more that your SIL will do to tick you off so don't let a name be one of them. As for not using it because she did, I think that is silly, use it anyway. You will be naming your son after your husband and your FIL. If she ever makes a comment just tell her why wouldn't you use it as it is his daddy and grandfathers name. No one has the market on a name so if you want to use it, go for it.

 

:hug:'s lady. I say use it anyway. ardon: It's the middle name, so it's not like it's used often. :good: :hug:

 

I don't see why you can't use it for a first or middle name. It's not as if they go around comparing middle names. I honestly have no clue what any of my cousin's names are. I don't see it as a big deal. It is a family name.. use it!

 

My SIL is just one of those people who makes everything about her and her kids, I just don't want her commenting that we named our son after her kid...I know I should just use it anyway.

 

I'd still use it. The boys would be over 3 years apart - and it is just a middle name. They might even think it is fun to have the same middle name!

 

Ok. first of all I woudl say this is only middle name so what's the big deal USE IT. and if your SIL so nuts about her kids I would use it for sure
what will you do if you have 2 boys? will you give both of them the same middle name? for alternative I would suggest name Simon for a middle name or Sebastian.
both of them will give S as middle initial.

 

My sister and our second cousin have the same exact first and middle name and both go by Amy. We think it's funny.

I'd use it anyway. It's a beautiful name, strong, and there isn't really any reason why she couldn't use it.

 

I agree with everyone else, and that is to use it anyways :woohoo:

 

OMG My SIL did almost the exact same thing except she did it after I had my son. They are 5 months apart. It is my DH's middle name and HIS father's middle name which is NOT her father. What really made it bad is she asked me if I cared and i told her yes I did, but she did anyway!! I would go ahead and use it because you will be naming him after HIS father!!! My SIL is very spoiled also ans everything is ALWAYS about her!! I can soooooooo feel your pain!!
Good luck!!

 

want a laugh.. my husband and his step brother have the same name. THey go by first/middle name when they are together.

 

QUOTE(ABCC Kids @ Feb 19 2009, 03:27 PM) [snapback]1196768[/snapback]
OMG My SIL did almost the exact same thing except she did it after I had my son. They are 5 months apart. It is my DH's middle name and HIS father's middle name which is NOT her father. What really made it bad is she asked me if I cared and i told her yes I did, but she did anyway!! I would go ahead and use it because you will be naming him after HIS father!!! My SIL is very spoiled also ans everything is ALWAYS about her!! I can soooooooo feel your pain!!
Good luck!!


When I first read the topic, I thought this was something I saw a while back. Did you post about this when it happened to you?


Anyway, I would definitely say USE IT. As the pp said. It is YOUR hubby's name, and YOUR sons FATHERS name..he would be named after HIS father. I know it would be hard if she tried to say you named your child after her son, but everyone, ESPECIALLY SIL would know that you really named him after his daddy. She sounds a little looney.

Oh, yeah as a side note.. My childrens father has TWO brothers named William..b/c his dad was married twice, and both wives wanted a son named after him!

 

QUOTE(JicJac @ Feb 19 2009, 03:29 PM) [snapback]1196776[/snapback]
want a laugh.. my husband and his step brother have the same name. THey go by first/middle name when they are together.



Even better laugh? My SIL (who I don't really like) and I have the same name. And I was going to keep my maiden name but it would have been too many "K"s in my name (Pretty much every syllable). It was rough when she was bouncing checks at the same stores I shopped at.

 

Honestly, I guess I just don't see the big deal. If you like the name use ... Seems like almost every one in my family uses Rose as a middle name because it sounds good with lots of first names ... no one is offended ... It's just the middle name ... how often does anyone even say their middle name??

 

My family has tons of cousins with the same middle name... My Grandpa's name. Go for it.

 

QUOTE(caba @ Feb 19 2009, 02:42 PM) [snapback]1196811[/snapback]
Honestly, I guess I just don't see the big deal. If you like the name use ... Seems like almost every one in my family uses Rose as a middle name because it sounds good with lots of first names ... no one is offended ... It's just the middle name ... how often does anyone even say their middle name??



Great middle name Erica! I have a Molly Rose.

Come to think of it, there are many people in my family with my middle name (Ann). I agree it is just a middle name. If you think it will make your SIL upset, by all means go for it. Send out a family letter announcing the name :laughing:

 

QUOTE(caba @ Feb 19 2009, 03:42 PM) [snapback]1196811[/snapback]
Honestly, I guess I just don't see the big deal. If you like the name use ... Seems like almost every one in my family uses Rose as a middle name because it sounds good with lots of first names ... no one is offended ... It's just the middle name ... how often does anyone even say their middle name??


I don't really see the huge deal either....3 yrs ago was a long time, there's no way I would have said to my siblings, cousins, friends "Hey, I want to name my baby xxxx is that okay or are you going to use it for your child down the road that you don't have yet?" I guess I just don't see how you can take it personally that she named her child that 3 yrs ago.

If my first born had been a girl I was going to name her after my sister, who I feel is a strong young woman, but what if she had a girl and wanted to name her after herself...should she be offended *I* used her name first?

I know how frustrating it is picking names, I have a HUGE family and tried very hard not to pick identical names, and instead my cousin went and married a Sean, about the ONLY boy name we didn't have in our family yet, and our son's first name! It's kinda funny they are the only two with the same name (and spelling). Who would have thought it, kwim?

I think if you still love it, and want to use it, by all means use it! Let your SIL think what she wants, you and dh will know you named your ds after him, right? :hug:

 

your baby, name him what you want....bump her...

 

You know how many Nicks/Nicoles are in my family!!!

I will never understand how people can think they own a name. If you like it, use it. It is your kid!!!

 

Same thing happened to me and my dh with one of our boy names my sil found out she was pg 3 weeks before me and her and her husband took the name that my hubby had wanted for a long time so when we found out that we were having 2 boys we used the name as a middle name even though its my nephews first name !! it shouldn't matter all that much nobody owns the name so if you wanna use it use it your sil can get over herself

 

I think you should use it. It's a middle name, who cares if it is the same as a cousin's name? I have a nephew Jeffrey Michael, a nephew Sean Michael and a nephew Thomas Michael. And no one got worked up about the boys having the same middle name, heck, two of my sisters have Marie as a middle name.

 

I agree with Nicole. No one owns a name. Go forth and name them what you want. We have a million Johns, Jims, and Toms in our family and my sister and I share the same middle names. I honestly would never think of asking anyone's permission if it is okay if I name my child something - even a relative. I think it just depends on how the family works. Good luck.

 

Totally use the name!!!! :good:

 

QUOTE(rhc0607 @ Feb 19 2009, 02:58 PM) [snapback]1196697[/snapback]
*Also my FIL is not the father to my SIL, why couldn't she use her father's middle name or anything on her husband's side!


ardon: ...because she liked the name Samuel? And she had her baby first? I'd never dream of asking anyone's permission, either. It just wouldn't occur to me.

Yeah, I say choose your battles and choose your name, even if it IS the same one. No big shakes. Our families have several repeats (for first names!), too, and no one seems to care. Makes it easier on my MIL, who can't EVER remember anyone's name anyway, poor woman.

My step-brother (who is 6 mos younger than me, so we were in the same grade) is Steve and I'm Eve. Try going thru adolescence as "Eve 'n Steven" and forever explaining that you're NOT twins. Oy. :blink:

Eve

 

I'd use it too.

One of the most common family names on my mom's side is Benjamin. The other is Micheal. I swear almost every male in the family has one of those somewhere in their name!

 

I would use the name if I wanted to. It's a middle name. I don't see how she would care. Lots of families have family names commonly used as middle names, and she shouldn't have any say in the name you use. I would be a little bit hesitant if it were the same first name, but even then I would name my child whatever I wanted. Not to mention it sounds like it is kind of a tradition if your DH and FIL have the middle name, it's just natural that you would follow the same pattern. I don't think your SIL could say anything to complain about it.

 

I am going to be a cow and pinch my nieces middle name this time round. My di/di girls will be Rosemary Kathleen and Penelope Jane. Kathleen is my mums name and Jane is my mother in laws. My SIL little girl is Chloe Jane. I don't think it really matters when middle names are cocerned. I am not going to ask, I am just going to do. I say name you bubs anything you want!

 

Another vote for using the name anyway.

 

What do you mean she "took" the name? You also said she "decided" to name her last kid. Did she ever actually name a child that? If so, so what? Use the name you want. We have so many Pauls and Maries in our family, it reminds me of the wedding scene from that movie,"Goodfellas"

 

i'd use it. my goddaughter has my middle name as hers & i may still use it if we ever have a girl. also, we have a lot of the same names- i have a neice with the same 1st name as me (dh's sister's daughter) & here's an interesting name pattern in our family:

george thomas, sr. (FIL)
george thomas (BIL)
gregory thompson (dh)
george thomas III (nephew)
matthew thomas (nephew)
george thompson (the "oldest" of our twins)
graham thomas (my singleton)

and, yep, they all have the same last name! seeing a pattern? :lol: everyone is named after my FIl who is deceased. i never met him because he passed when dh was 15, but obviously he was heck of a guy. surprisingly, the only mixup we ever have is at the pharmacy with the twins & the 2nd twin is the only one without the "family initials" (his are opn).

 

I say use it its a family name

 

My sister and I both have daughters with the middle name Rose. I never thought it would be a problem and it hasn't been. My neice thinks it's cute that her little cousin has the same middle name.

 

My cousin named his son Jackson, (our grandfather's name) and three years later, I named my son Caleb Jackson. I never once thought to ask his or his wife's permission. I have two cousins with the middle name Elisabeth, after my grandmother. On DH's side, two girls have the middle name Katherine, after his grandmother. My uncles all have the same middle name. So, who cares? Use the middle name anyway.

 

I would use the name espically since it is a middle name.
Here is my family naming issue: I named my DD Dani after my DH's grandfather Daniel, well DH's cousin had a son when my girls were almost two. Guess what his first name is? Daniel. The only think that annoyed me about them using the name was the fact that they lied to us about deciding it. Their 4 year old DD was telling everyone that she was having a brother Daniel, so I asked the cousin and was told we have not decided on a name.

 

I say use it. She shouldn't have to ask your permission to use it and you shouldn't have to feel bad if she says something about you using it.

FWIW, both of my kids have the same middle name which is my husband's first name..and they are twins. A middle name isn't that big of a deail.