frustrated and hurt with others unwanted comments

OK, so we survived the first year and had a very big first birthday party to celebrate!!!! Yeah!!!! But why is it when you become a parent, EVERYONE ELSE thinks they can tell you how to raise your kids and add their TWO cents about the decisions you make as a parent. It is soooooo annoying!!!! Also, why do others feel the need to make negative comments. When somebody makes a negative comment, it just hurts me to the core!! Don't they know I have put my blood, sweat, and tears into raising my children. And I have done what's best for my children and my husband. Who knows their children better than their mother?? (Also, dh is an rn and I taught elem. school for 11yrs., so when it comes to child development and medical concerns we've got it covered)

There have been two comments in the last week however that I just can't shake!!

1. On Sat. we're at dh's step-mother's house for lunch with some of her extended family. It was nap time so I attempted a nap for dd and ds over there. Well it wasn't happening, they were both full on screaming for over 15min. and I KNEW a nap there wasn't going to happen for several reasons. They were at an unfamiliar place, alot of people around, and they had just had their 1yr. shots the day before and weren't feeling good. So dh and I got them up and step-mil says, "Oh, it looks like they've got their mommy and daddy right where they want them." UGH!!!!!!! That is SOOOOO, not true!!! And she is not around hardly at all to know the difference!!!!!

2. Last week after the birthday party, sil calls and says, "No offense but, your friends twins are so much more calm than yours." UGH!!!!!!!!!Where does she get off???? DH and I know she is just jealous, but it was still a low blow, and again NOT TRUE!(both our twins act like NORMAL one yr. olds) And yes, Lily was fussy with sil because she kept trying to take her away, and she completely overstimulates the children.

How do I put on a happy face again when I have to see these two, when I'd really like to tell them off!!!

 

You are, unfortunately, going to have to suck it up until the next time you see them. Then if they say something mean or rude or whatever, just be polite and tell them that until they have walked a mile (or a year in this case) in your shoes, would they please try to not hurt your feelings.

eta: DUH!!! Congratulations on suviving!! YOU DID IT! Now, brace yourself.....the 2nd year goes by WWWAAYYYYYYY faster than the first!!!

 

ugh. I'm sorry your family is so ready to add their discouraging commentary. I don't have any tips, but for what it's worth, I would tell you that I have no doubt at all that you are excellent parents! :love0028:

 

My MIL, who has had really no involvement in my children's life also likes to add her two sense in. Why would I listen to a women, who I personally think is a horrible mother, grandmother, and person in general.

I'm sorry some people are just like that. They will always question you. :hug99: Your their mother. I'm sure you know best for your children.

 

I feel your pain! I have a similar post in Parents Club right now. It's not my personality, but I've decided I need to say something to addresss any comments at the time they are made that I know will bother me later. I'm not surprised they wouldn't nap at S-MILs, mine will only nap at home or in the car. As far as your SIL - completely uncalled for - why share this observation??? Good Luck w/the inlaws in the future! :hug99:

 

Some people just don't think before they speak. Do your best to ignore the comments. You know the truth.

Or
Tell them what you really think!!!
Congrat on the first year. Don't you feel like it has just flown by?

 

1. You were between a rock and a hard place here. If you let them scream then you would be an awful mother for not going to get them, or you'd get the "My kids would sleep anywhere, because they were taught better" line.

2. "Oh really? They only misbehave when you're around. I wonder why that is?"

 

It sounds as if they have struck a nerve with you. These are probably deep concerns for you anyway and they are playing off of your concerns to "get to you" :angry: People can be very cruel, just ignore them. If you ask thier advice and then get your feeling hurt~that is one thing, BUT if they offer it as an insult to your parenting, when you did not ask, welll, just ignore them and get on with life. Everyone makes good and bad choices with thier children~it does not mean they are ruined for life. :icon_eek: