From nanny to daycare...questions

We have enrolled our boys in daycare starting in Sept. I have a couple of questions on the best way to transition them and about how to tell the nanny.

We've enrolled them for 5 days a week since the nanny needs a full-time job, and we don't want the financial burden of paying her and adding part-time daycare. Also, I think it will be more difficult for them if they don't have consistency in their routine. They have only stayed with her or family, so about 2 1/2 months ago we started putting them in the church nursery to help them adjust to someone they didn't know taking care of them. It was really hard on them at first and Cameron still cries when we leave him, but he recovers quickly and is playing when we return. For those who have their kids in daycare, do you think it would be better to try to work out a part-time situation with the nanny or best to start them in daycare full-time?

Also, we're trying to decide how far in advance to tell our nanny. She's been so wonderful to us and the boys, so we want to make sure she is able to find another family (and we want her to continue to be in the boys lives by babysitting on the weekends or evenings), but we also don't want to put ourselves in a bind by giving her too much notice if she finds another position quickly.

Thanks for the advice!

 

I'd say put in the daycare full time. They will adapt sooner than you think and they will love being around other kids. The best thing I did was put my kids at the daycare full time instead having my mother in law watching them. I'd talk to the nanny and I'd give 4 to 3 weeks notice, she will be fine if she is a good nanny with good references will find a job very fast.

 

I switched my DD's from FT nanny to a daycare/PT nanny mix at 22 months. For us, this worked best because it cost us pretty much the same for FT daycare as it does for the nanny/daycare mix, and the nanny is DH's niece so we did not want to cut all ties. Plus, I still love the covenience of the nanny days (no daycare dropoff, pickup, and I can stay at the gym later).

Our girls go to daycare on M/W/F, the nanny is here T/Th. This is working beautifully for us, although due to changes in Grace's EI schedule next year our mix will change to T/Th/F daycare and M/W nanny.

First off, my children love daycare. It did take a while to transition, but once they did, they just love it so much. The main reason I started it was so they could regularly play with children their own age. And they do arts/crafts every daycare day, which they love too. We were having issues with the nanny, which prompted me to look at daycare, but now that she's down to 2 days she's doing a much better job too. She works at a restaurant in addition to working for us.

To transition them, for about a month prior to starting their 3 regular days, I'd take them in for about 1.5 hours in the morning, once a week, during the active part of the day (circle time, snack time, etc.) The director said bring them in when they are going to have fun, but make them leave in the midst of it so they'd be excited to come back. So we did this once a week for a month. Then on their first actual day, I picked them up early (right after nap), and then started making their days longer from there. I was most worried about naps on cots, they always sleep in their cribs, but they have adjusted to that with no problem.

As far as notice to your nanny, I'd give 4-6 weeks, minimum. I had a nanny before our current one, and when we let her go we gave her a month notice. And I let our nanny know we wanted her to go part time about 6 weeks in advance (remember, she's family, so I didn't worry about early departure). I did also let her know that if she ever found a FT position she wanted to move to, to give me enough notice and we could switch to FT daycare. She does not have health care benefits, so I don't want to take any opportunity for her to have those away from her. If your nanny has done a great job for you, definitely provide her with a letter of reference to aid her in her job search.

 

I would go to FT daycare, they will adjust more quickly that way. We had to fire our nanny, and I got my cousin to come back and be a nanny PT for us while I PT daycared the kids. And it worked OK, but I think it prolonged the adjustment period for the kids and confused them a bit, as they never knew who or where they would be (my cousin had been their nanny for the first year, so they knew her well, but she had to go back to school, thus the agency nannies for the next year). This all happened at about 28 mos of age.

I would give your current nanny 4 weeks notice. I would be pretty straightforward with the kids, "It's time for you to start going to school during the day. Here's all the fun things you will do at school. Nancy (whatever her name is) will still be your friend and she will still come to play with you sometimes." And ask the nanny to also talk to them about school and how much fun it is.

The adjustment period does take a while, but it will pass, and be assured that the kids are likely having a great time while you aren't around to watch. They know they can get to you so will give you the full theatrics when you drop them off, but that will end as they become just excited to see their friends and the classroom, and forget to give you a song and dance about misery. Much harder on the parents than the kids! Good luck!

 

Just wanted to add that my DD's don't have any issues with their schedule varying between daycare days and nanny days. Their transition took about 3 weeks (of 3 day weeks), but got smoother each of those weeks. Now I hear a chorus of "Yeah, school!" when we turn into daycare and half the time I have to beg them to leave with me.