Friends

Discussion in 'Childhood and Beyond (4+)' started by mama_dragon, Apr 10, 2014.

  1. mama_dragon

    mama_dragon Well-Known Member

    How much time do your kids spend playing with friends?  My kids are rather limited in the friend department so wanted to see what others had to say.  Their father has been asking and worried that they do not play with friends more or have kids over.  They have friends at school (they just turned 5 and are currently in pre-K 3 days a week).  And we have occasional playdates with my friends' kids but everyone is so busy on weekends with sports, scouts etc. its hard.  As far as neighborhood kids there are none their age.  The youngest is 4 years older then my two.  He will come over when we are outside sometimes and play for 30 minutes to an hour.
     
    The boys are in gymnastics their choice and just started a theater class which they love.  So they are busy and do socialize.  When they are old enough they will try scouting. 
     
    Anyway I am tired of trying to explain to their father that they are only 5 and don't need tons of friend time so wanted some back up that I am not the only one not arranging weekly weekend playdates.
     
  2. megkc03

    megkc03 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Never. Lol. We too, as are all of our friends, are super busy. Funny you ask because this weekend we have three playdates(well, we are getting together for two dinners and lunch) with our close friends. One just had a baby, one is going to soon, and the other we've been trying for at least six months to get together with them. At least!

    As for school friends, they have them, and are talking like crazy about play dates and the like...but time. There just isn't enough of it!
     
  3. seamusnicholas

    seamusnicholas Well-Known Member

    My boys did gymnastics and have been in theater for a few years! It's their number 1 love! In past years I've worried about their lack of friends but now that they are almost done with 2nd grade I know this summer things will begin to change. We have always done things with neighbors and they are all girls and I'm closest to those moms. The boys have always had those girls at their bday party with a few random boys. This year they don't want girls and have both chosen a few friends for their party. I envision friendships beginning to start this summer.
     
  4. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Our girls didn't really start going on regular play dates till kindergarten - now they're just as likely to go to a friends' house after school or have a friend over as not. They aren't currently in any extra curricular activities though. I prefer to keep their schedules as open as possible.
     
  5. FGMH

    FGMH Well-Known Member

    Our twins are close to 5 too and so far playdates are rare, maybe once every 2 months. They have full day pre-school 3 days a week and half-day on 2 days on their free afternoons they really prefer to be at home alone with me or go and see my father. We try and keep our weekends for family time so I am not a great fan of weekend playdates, unless it is meeting spontaneously at the playground for an hour.
     
    DD has just started asking for playdates with 2 kids (one boy, one girl) more often, but it is hard to organize because everyone is so busy. DS is not really interested in playdates and tolerates them rather than enjoys them so far.
     
  6. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    My kids are shy, so they do discuss friends at school and have been invited to parties and what not, but no they do not hang out with friends every day.  We do arrange playdates from time to time but that's about it.
     
  7. gina_leigh

    gina_leigh Well-Known Member

    I don't think we've ever had a real, planned playdate. They've had friends over from school a few times. Last year one of their favorite classmate's mom and I became friends while helping out in class and during after school pickup. There were a few times when I'd pick up her child if she had something to do or vice verse. And she did come spend the night. 
     
    Since we've moved, they have more friends in our townhouse complex and spend most afternoons outside playing with various other kids. They are generally the youngest of the bunch. I think there's one other kinder, but mostly the rest are in 1st and 2nd grade. They don't seem to mind. We had one little girl spend the night with Rea, but so far the boys haven't asked. 
     
    Reagan's came home with a business card almost from the mom of her best friend at school. I'd never seen one before but at the top it has that she's So and So's Mom and then has her email, telephone number and I think her facebook info on it. I guess to set up playdates and whatnot. Rea's been asking me to call or email her, but since the baby's been here, I just haven't made time. I need to though. 
     
  8. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    They go to school and see/play with kids M-F. Other than that they enjoy the neighbor girls but I try to limit that to twice/week or so for about 1/2 hour. We have playdates about twice a month which are typically moms I want to talk to that have kids their age.
     
  9. MNTwinSquared

    MNTwinSquared Well-Known Member

    We are in the same situation, no kids in the neighborhood.  My twins started playdates in first grade (age 6).  I would send a note to a specific hand picked kid in their class with them and ask for an RSVP.  It was about 2 playdates the first year.  I think it is important, but at age 5, it may just be too young.  We've had some in third grade but as you and others have stated, often kids are very busy on weekends.  Schedules can be difficult!
     
  10. mama_dragon

    mama_dragon Well-Known Member

    [SIZE=medium]I feel better knowing I am not the only one who isn’t spending my spare time arranging play dates.  We just don’t live in an area with kids their age and their school is a private school serving multiple suburbs and even multiple states.  [/SIZE]
     
    [SIZE=medium]I will keep doing what we do.  Get together every once in a while with my friends who have kids.  And let them socialize at school and in their activities.  [/SIZE]
     
    [SIZE=medium]I just don’t think 5 year olds need a constant social life.  Their father has a different opinion I think due to his own lack of experiences as a child.  He didn’t live in the town where he attended private school and living in the country he didn’t have many opportunities for playing with other kids. [/SIZE]
     
  11. Fran27

    Fran27 Well-Known Member

    They're 5! It will come! My kids played fine with their friends at school last year but didn't get a playdate until August. They were not interested in seeing their friends out of school either.
     
    But this year in kindergarten, it's nuts! They're asking for playdates all the time (and play every day for 30 minutes on the playground with some of them after school too)! It's actually so annoying, lol. So don't worry about it...
     
  12. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Did their Dad have siblings to play with? I was lonely as a kid but I was an only child. My kids have playmates on each other. They don't require as much scheduling as I did as a kid.
     
  13. Danibell

    Danibell Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    None of my kids have real "playdates" as  such.  I did join a local mom's club and we get together every few weeks either at the park or at mcd's when the weather isn't nice, the mom's get to chat, the kids have a blast playing.  Sean is in 6th grade and has only had a couple playdates with his best friend, who moved away in 4th grade.  He has friends at school but no one he's bonded with as tight as that one boy.  But he's in science olympiad, and in karate, and has friends at both places.

    Kaelyn's never had someone over, or gone to someone's house before.  She's in 1st grade, involved in karate and girl scouts.
     
    Liam and Rylee have never gone somewhere, or had someone come over yet, other than the little girl I babysit sometimes (her mom is in the mom's club too).

    We live outside of town, and have no neighbors for my kids to play with.  However, there's 4 of them, and they play very very well together, inside and  out!  And as you said, our weekends are so busy it's hard to plan playdates!  Sean has science olympiad every saturday morning, and Sean and Kaelyn both have karate over lunch on saturday.  By the time we eat lunch it's around 2-2:30pm.  Sunday is church, and kaelyn has girl scouts twice a month sunday afternoon.
     
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