Freaking out... again!

I'm sorry to pull the first-time-pregnant-crazies on you ladies but here I am despite the fact that I've been sitting on my hands since Saturday so I don't post this! I know I'm a nut but no matter how hard I try I can't get it out of my head. You know those scary pregnancy related stories people tell? I seriously think I'm some kind of magnet for them, people tell me stuff I really really don't need to hear!

We were at a friends get together this past weekend and everyone were sharing their tidbits again no matter how hard I try to change subject! The story that stuck with me came from my best friend who should know better (she has a 4 month old baby girl and she knows how obsessive I can be!). Long story short; a lady at her mommy & me class sister had a stillbirth due to low amniotic fluid which she didn't realize or pick up on (she didn't go for regular ultrasounds). I've forced myself not to go for weekly ultrasounds and to be calm and collected and nothing like the OC-maniac I can be, mostly I've succeeded but I still have my moments (okay days :blush

I saw the midwives last week and my urine was clear, baby's heart was good and uterus measured correctly. It was before the story telling of the weekend so I didn't ask (or worry) about my discharge because I've been thinking it's just one of those "fun" things about pregnancy. We don't have an ultrasound when we see the midwives but I also can't remember the ultrasonographer ever saying anything about fluid when we have seen her... but surely it is something she checked? I'm seeing the midwives again next Tuesday (will see them every second week now up to 34 weeks and then weekly) then I'll bring up my paranoia. Next ultrasound is only scheduled when I'm 34 weeks!

Now for the TMI moment: I've been obsessing over my discharge (which I know is normal to increase as the pregnancy does and it has done just that. What is not so normal is to analyze it like a freaking nutjob ) but how do you know when it's normal and when not without going for a panicky test every 2nd day?!? (I've read the online explanations - heck you know I've been googling like the crazy person I am) but it's vague (e.g. "It may be clear but can be yellow, green, pinkish or whatever as well. It's watery but can be stringy or milky too. It smells sweet but can be fishy as well") - uh thanks that doesn't help at all!

I appreciate you reading this. I may just lose my last bit of sanity before Evan arrives! I'm trying hard to stay relaxed and forget about that carpet that's been pulled from under me so often and mostly I honestly succeed in being calm and collected (even laid back!). However some days/weeks: not so much... I just really need him to be okay, you know?

 

Aw, Brenda! I was the same way, you're not (especially) crazy.

Yes, they measure amniotic fluid. That's one of the zillion measurements they do where they point and click two spots and then the points are connected by a line? Like the ones they do for limb length? Watch next time and you'll notice that they do the same measurement in the black area around the baby. They probably haven't mentioned it because your levels are normal. :grouphug: If you need reassurance, just call the doctor's office and ask the ultrasound tech.

Your fluids will mystify you right up to the end. Don't worry too much unless you have a sudden change in color or smell.

 

This is what I was going to say. :hug: Try not to worry (I know, it is easy for me to say!). Unless you have a sudden change, I would say it is normal. After 4 pregnancies, I can say that there are all different kinds of normal, so it would be hard for me to say exactly what the discharge should be like, but I really think that, from what I know about you, you are in touch with your body well enough to know if there is actually a problem. :hug: Do your best to forget what other people say, those horror stories are actually quite uncommon & you are most likely to have a perfectly normal last 10 weeks & a beautiful baby boy before you know it!

 

Deep breath in.....and out.....

are you feeling Evan move/kick at least 10 times an hour...if so then you're most likely ok...if you feel him slow down dramatically - then you may have a worry...also - if you're that worried you can call your midwives - they should be able to test your discharge with litmus paper to find out if it is amniotic or just the normal ickies of pregnancy...

 

:lol: Thanks Steph! :hug: I'll trust that they've checked it, they measure so many things and I'm normally only concerned about his size, hehe. So it's not something they have to check weekly if nothing disconcerting was seen before? I'll contact the ultrasound tech tomorrow anyway and just hear if she can maybe see me before January, just to ease my mind. If not I'll try and hang tight until the 10th of January.

No sudden change in colour or smell. It's just increased quite a bit. (never thought I'd discuss my discharge with people!)

Thanks Tina! :hug: that really makes me feel better! I know those stories are rare (and exactly why people share them) but since I was on the wrong side of you-only-have-under-5%-chance-of-this-or-that too many times I sometimes freak out about this stuff.

Thanks Amy. I thought I'd ask them to test when I see them again just to be sure. I don't want to go in early all panicked when it's most likely just my fears and nothing else that's wrong. (otherwise they might just see me every day, lol!) He does move often, depends on how he's lying however, sometimes he squishes himself in there then the movements aren't that prominent and he obviously have certain active times in the day and other times he's quiet. It's been the same for weeks though so I'm fairly confident his movements are fine. I've avoided starting a log (part of the not obsessing mantra) but maybe it couldn't hurt.

I knew I'd feel better after hearing from you guys and I do so thank you! :hug:

 

One of my twins had low fluid towards the end and he is fine. I was getting regular ultrasounds so they kept an eye on him. With my second pregnancies, I only had three ultrasounds the whole time; one at 8 weeks, one at 22 weeks and the last when I was 41 weeks to make sure he was okay in there.

I know with this last pregnancy I had a lot more discharge than normal, enough that I wore a panty liner every day. I think it's pretty normal though to have that increase.

I know it's hard not to worry!

 

A kid distracted me and I didn't finish my thought about the ultrasounds.. :lol:

After having regular ultrasounds with the twins, with my last pregnancy I was freaking out! I mean, how can they tell he's okay with just measuring his heartbeat??!! I know it's perfectly normal to not have ultrasounds all the time but it still worried me a lot. Luckily he is just perfect!

 

hew: Okay so it's normal. I'm relaxing as I type this! As I've said before, normal I can handle (even icky normal)

That's very comforting to hear, thank you so much! :hug: I also keep worrying about the few ultrasounds especially since I had so many in the first trimester (I had 3 in just those first 12 weeks!). I was still with my fertility clinic at that stage however so I think it's normal for them to do a few more scans with an IVF baby. Since the 2nd trimester I only had the 20 week FAS scan and a follow up of that to confirm no other defects (his club feet was diagnosed with the FAS. No other problems) and the 4D scan at 28 weeks. I have one last one scheduled for 34 weeks. So quite a few scans and I still worry I've actually been fine the whole 2nd trimester. It's as if the 3rd trimester (and stories) have suddenly triggered my worry bone again!

 

As a professional worrier, I had a really hard time with hearing stories like that too. Unfortunately the only way to avoid themis to shut yourself in and throw away your computer. But then you also couldn't go online for reassurance and see all the babies out there who are perfectly healthy and fine! People don't tell stories about all the babies out there who are born healthy and normal every single day. I am sure your sonographer has been checking your fluid levels, but ask her just in case. It sounds like you are getting great monitoring and terrific care. You're also young, and despite your fertility issues, otherwise healthy. The odds are overwhelmingly in your favour that everything will be just fine.

Also, as others have mentioned, there's such a variation in what is "normal" I think you can only base it on what's normal for you. Websites are of no help. Changes of any kind should be mentioned to your midwife, but other than that try to enjoy that healthy little bean kicking around in there. Not long to go now!

 

You're also pretty good at telling a professional worrier what she needs to hear. Thanks Jen :hug: Now I feel extra silly again for working myself up so much!

I never listen to myself when I get logical, I only listen to the worry so I need to hear the logic from others sometimes, thanks everyone!

 

Nothing much to add since everyone's said everything I would have so just a big :hug: You're doing great Brenda & so is Evan! :wub:

 

Heh, I have had to talk myself down from the ledge many times. I often wondered how much an ultrasound machine would cost. Never feel silly for being worried though; it's normal to have fears and anxieties, particularly when your body is going through so many changes that you've never experienced before. And all that concern is just a sign that you already love Evan and want the very best for him.

 

Thanks special lady :hug:

You totally get me! Thanks Jen you're awesome :hug:

 

Yeah, they always measure the fluid level during the 20 week scan and probably every time you've been scanned since.

As to discharge, there were many times with the boys where I wore a panty liner and wondered if my water had broken b/c it seemed like a lot. I assure you, when my water finally did break, I knew. It was like someone turned on the tub full blast, lol!

 

I have nothing to add but you are doing great and try not to let everyone worry you. When I was pregnant with my first, the guys at work would regale me with stories of their wive's pregnancies. I thought you could never have an easy pregnancy after what I heard. Since you are feeling movement, things are good.

 

That was what was worrying me the most, the amount is increasing so much! But no fully turned on tub yet, lol so guess I'm good. Thanks Michelle!

Thanks Irene! I really don't get why people tell these stories to a pregnant lady, don't they know our moods are bad enough on their own?

 

Alright, I am going to break out my most embarrassing pregnancy story. I slipped and fell on the ice when I was about 24 weeks pregnant. There was fluid and I flipped out; my husband had just had surgery so he couldn't drive and I was freaking out, so we called the hospital and they patched me through to 911 and an ambulance came and off we went to the hospital. After being there for 3 hours the crusty nurse in L&D informed me that I had peed myself.

I didn't really believe her until after my water broke and then I was like.. oh yeah, that was totally pee. Water breaking is like a bucket being dumped in your pants!

 

Ha haha!! Awesome!

When my water actually broke Paul was yelling at me to get in the car and I was frozen in place blubbering, "No, it's just pee. That's just pee." Itcan be confusing with all that mess (that you can no longer see) down there!

 

:hug: Brenda. You've gotten some great advice. It's hard not to worry when you are pregnant and especially when you hear bad stories. I always said it's because we don't have a 24 hour camera that looks into our bellies so we can be assured that the baby is fine.

 

I didn't read all the responses but from the few I did read it seems you got some great responses, I just wanted to give you a :hug: and tell you that worrying is totally normal. I actually think not worrying would be cause for concern.

From my experience, my discharge was thicker :bad: then when my water broke. When my water broke it was a warm, peeing my pants feelings and it was in gushes :bad: There, we are bonded for life now that I've shared that piece of info. :laughing:

 

Oh my gOsh! I am super surprised I still have hair i worried so much with Easton. I spent 38 weeks running to the bathroom every 2 seconds because I was sure I was bleeding, calling the dr because I was positive he wasn't moving enough and driving my entire family crazy. Easton is my 6th baby LOL!!!!!!! I HATED stories like that and every time I talked to a lady who even acted like she may tell a negative story I wanted to put my fingers in my ears and scream! Until I was pregnant with twins I had no idea they even looked at the fluid level! But they do . It is unfair that mothers don't have a little window to the womb where we can check on our little guys! You are doing an awesome job and freaking out is just part of it!

 

oh dearie me thanks for sharing those! :rofl: So funny and only because I can so see both scenarios happening to me! (peeing myself and thinking I'm in labour and then have my water break and not believing I'm in labour! :lol so I emphasize despite giggling.

I'm not that picky it doesn't need to be 24 hours, just when I'm paranoid, lol. (which admittedly may be 24/7!)

 

Oops missed 2 posts while I was replying!

:lol: Liz we're all learning so much more from each other today, aren't we?! I do appreciate everyone sharing for my benefit though so thank you! Makes me feel more normal! :hug:

oh Heather I know I'm driving poor hubby crazy too even though to his credit he doesn't show it! If only I had his patience and calm attitude (I tell ya someone knew I needed to end up with a mellow person otherwise we'd drive each other nuts!) Thanks for sharing and making me feel better! :hug:

 

Brenda, I was positive I was leaking amniotic fluid the last 6 weeks of my singleton pregnancy and when I really freaked out at one point they did some kind of swab to test the fluid and it was just discharge. It literally felt like pee was dripping out sometimes (sorry, TMI). I was so paranoid through both of my pregnancies - positive that I had just about every risky scenario outlined in my What to Expect book...and if it wasn't in that book, I would find stuff to worry about on Google. Then I would worry that maybe my worries were a result of my having a gut feeling that something really was wrong, and what if they missed it on the u/s or at the NST, etc. I have never felt such a feeling of relief as I did on the days that my boys were born. Hang in there. :hug:

:hug: It is so hard not to worry because so much of it is out of your control. Try to find comfort in the fact that the overwhelming majority of pregnancies result in a healthy baby! Look around at all the people you know - of all ages - they were once babies inside their mom's bellies and here they are, alive and well!

 

Thank you Jori! :hug: