found this and

Dear Non-Pregnant Person, I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.

1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is 'Congratulations!' with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an a$$.

2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase 'my baby'.

3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in #2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it.

4) The body of a pregnant women should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5) Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight - ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invites her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is 'You look fabulous!'.

6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.

7) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticket master. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents.

8) Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents’ home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to 'help out'. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breast-feeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

 

That was great! I feel like I should print that out and carry it around with me at all times! Thanks for the post!

 

I love that!!! Really tells it like it is!!!!!!

 

I love it! Thanks for making me laugh today!

 

I need to send this to my whole family I'm going to my DH's family reunion this Sunday and dreading the belly grooping of stangers.....heck I don't even like my mom to do it unless I tell her....

 

Thank you so much! I had no idea I wasn't the only one who didn't want hordes of people around the hospital during L&D and even thought about not telling people when I went into labor to avoid just that. My mom told me it was really rude of me to even think that! (She's lives in a different town and wouldn't be able to come anyway) "Let them come and wait around if they want to." she says.

But it's not about them! :umm:

 

:good: OMG, that is PERFECT!

 

I guess I'm the odd one out on this. I found it a little offensive from my "pregnant after infertility" perspective. I feel directly opposite about most of those points on there. Still, I'm glad so many got enjoyment out of it.

 

That is exactly perfect. I love it and only if I would've had this list when I was pregnant.

 

That was great!

 

QUOTE(Karen1403 @ May 23 2008, 08:34 AM) [snapback]789402[/snapback]
making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

This is MY favorite line of this! Great job!

 

:lol: I definitely have a few people I could send this to who could use the advice.

 

Ooooooooh I wish I could find a way to get this into my MIL's hands!! Knowing her, she'd think she's excluded from these "rules" anyway! -- perfect though!!

jen

 

LMAO so bad it hurts!!!

I LOVE this list. . .!!!! :rotflmbo:

 

Don't share it with your infertile friends, though, or your adopting friends or you'd likely lose that friendship for life. Actually, sharing this with anyone might irreparably hurt feelings... but as long as it makes you laugh.

I feel directly opposite to those things. I am happy to share in the joys of pregnancy with friends and relatives and delight in their interest. I get good advice (and chuck the rest). I love that my mother came to my last ultrasound (she drove 80 miles to do so). I will be happy for anyone to help me after the babies are born and will not require them to be housemaids and leave the babies alone - I'll be happy to let them hold the babies. I love being blessed with this pregnancy and am so happy for anyone in my life that is as excited as I am.

 

That is awesome!! I love it!! Thanks for posting that.

 

That was freaking fabulous!!!! I want to have it printed, blown up and posted on my garage door!!!!! PERFECT!!!!!!!

(Even my infertile friends will like this one)

 

I loved it !! I just want to add that is your science experiment ... this is your chance to have YOUR children and try things the way you want. Just remember that your MIL, your mother, etc have had their children.

I did find that when we had visitors especially since we had my SIL stay for 2 weeks and my parents for 2 months, I found that it did feel like we were "entertaining". Even when people help it seems like I had to tell them what is for supper or where things are.... The first month they sleep so much more so I found all the people weren't helpful but took up alot of space in our house. Take that first days to spend with you and your husband and your babies.

Heather

 

QUOTE(Lizzybo @ May 24 2008, 05:19 AM) [snapback]790739[/snapback]
Don't share it with your infertile friends, though, or your adopting friends or you'd likely lose that friendship for life. Actually, sharing this with anyone might irreparably hurt feelings... but as long as it makes you laugh.

I feel directly opposite to those things. I am happy to share in the joys of pregnancy with friends and relatives and delight in their interest. I get good advice (and chuck the rest). I love that my mother came to my last ultrasound (she drove 80 miles to do so). I will be happy for anyone to help me after the babies are born and will not require them to be housemaids and leave the babies alone - I'll be happy to let them hold the babies. I love being blessed with this pregnancy and am so happy for anyone in my life that is as excited as I am.


sorry i didnt mean it to offend anyone....it was just a bit of fun so i am sorry if i offended anyone

 

Kudos to you and thanks for sharing that! I loved it!