for working moms

are you planning to return to work after LO's arrive? I am on the fence more and more and trying to think it through. I currently work 2 night shifts which enables me to be with my DD about 5&1/2 days a week with DH as the primary care-taker when I am sleeping between shifts and then in the Am for a nap after my last. But could this work with twins? The income is nice, but these shifts always fall on weekends so I feel I miss out on a lot of family time. It would be tight but.... I think it could be worth it to cut corners then try to find some work from home. with my first DD, I went back to work at a 9-5, m-f job at 3 months and I swore I would NOT do that 2nd time around. What are you all planning to do?

 

I did go back to a crazy, busy job when the babies were 8 weeks. It works for our family and lots of others. But, you have to decide what makes the most sense for your family, given the scheduling, finances, personalities, hopes and dreams! Good luck!

 

I live in Canada and have an entire year of mat leave, but I'm pretty sure I won't be returning to work for a few years following their birth. We have a 10 month old right now, and I couldn't imagine putting all 3 in day care! I would have to get another job in order to put them in day care. Its about $1000/month/kid....so, I think I will work from home for my dads company until they are ready to go to school.

 

I am another working mom and planing to go back to work 12 weeks after lo will be born ( I only have 12 weeks maternity leave)
with Ds I had more time but I return to work 4 months after he was born and we hired the nanny for him. Planing to do the same with twins.

 

I am a working mom as well. I have a 4 year old in private pre-school and the thought of 2 more infants to pay childcare for at a rate of $900/month each made me insane! I told my boss that due to the high cost of childcare for two infants, that I needed to work 2 days a week from home to save on expenses or otherwise I wasn't sure it made sense to me to return to work. My job basically consists of speaking with clients via email and phone all day, so he finally agreed to give it a try. So, my plan is to hire a nanny for 4 days a week and have one day where I watch the babies myself and work as they allow (which probably means evening hours on that day.) I think it will work out well for us, and even just having two days a weeks where I don't have to wake up, shower, commute 45 minutes each way, etc will make a big difference on my stress level of working full time.

 

I returned back to work - I work full time, 8-4:30. I have much better health insurance, make more than my DH, and have the stable job - all of which he doesn't. It's hard. It's even harder when the kids are sick - I was not prepared for that. I have mommy guilt and employee guilt. I feel like I do a half-@ssed job everywhere, but I'm probably just fine and being overly critical of myself.

It's hard, but my kids love daycare. They love their teachers and friends. We even talked last night about DH being a SAHD, but I couldn't pull my kids out of DC. They do so well there.

 

I am in the process of trying to figure out what to do. I want to negotiate 16 weeks off and then have DH take 4 more weeks so the babies can go to daycare at 20 weeks. But I might have to settle for 8 off and 8 work at home because the project I am working on will be full steam ahead after 8 weeks of leave. I know they want to keep me because they have said as much and they have been very accommodating to me in regards to doctor's appointments. We will have 3 in daycare for 1.5-2 years but it is a sacrifice we have decided to make because we both love our jobs.

 

I went back to work after my 12 weeks of leave were up. I really loved my job pre-twins, but I found that my priorities had changed once I had them. I ended up quitting my job to stay home right before my twins turned one. It was hard for me to deal with them being sick all the time. I was missing a lot of work since they couldn't go to day care when they were sick. I felt like I was not doing my best as a mom or as an employee. By trying to do both, I felt like I was failing at both. That's when I realized I wanted/needed to stay home.

I think the important thing to remember is that no choice is ever final. You should go back to work if you're on the fence. Live that life for awhile to see if it's what you want. If it's not, then you can look at your finances and find a way to stay home if possible.

 

I went back FT until the twins were 8 months old.
By 5 months old I felt like I was missing way too much and the money just wanst worth it to me. I convinved them to hire a job sharer for my position and by 8 months she was finally trained and on board.
I work 2 days a week now, and DH is the primary "babysitter" when Im working those 2 days. For us its a great mix. I make enough in those 2 shifts to contribute, but I feel like I get quality time with my little ones.
Having worked full time for 7 months of their life and knowing how I felt, I dont wish FT work on anyone who doesnt look forward to that. I think your shifts sound great. You could always try it and if it isnt working for you, try the stay at home route that you are contemplating now.

 

thanks everyone for responding. It is really helpful to hear the varying perspectives that go along with the mix. I think it does make sense to go back and see if I can swing it and then if I can't, adjust from there. Either way, it is a better situation than I was when I had to go bk to work ft after my daughter. Love to hear what others are doing though too, so thanks everyone for sharing.

 

I'm not sure what we are going to do, not based so much on choice, but necessity. If I had the choice, it would be a no-brainer...I wouldn't work. (But I know people who say that working makes them a BETTER mom because they just aren't suited for being SAHM)...so everyone is different...Working FT with my son was really hard for me and I agree with PP about feeling like I was doing everything half-assed...

But, I think your idea of going back and seeing how it works is good. You might want to also consider the following:

-Taxes may be higher because you are making more towards the family income (does it trip you into the next tax bracket)?
-Do you have to wear nice clothes? How much does that cost you?
-Commute/gas money?
-Lunches out?
-Birthdays, Christmas gift exchanges, buying for other kids' fundraisers, etc...this costs me a small fortune at my job!

So, my point is that when you consider all of these "hidden" costs of working, does it still make sense? Are you making enough to make it worth it?

Good luck!!!

 

I think being a working mom is definitely a personal choice based on your situation - finances, personalities, availability of quality childcare, jobs available, etc. I work 32 hours per week - I know that God answered a prayer, becauses my job and boss are very flexible. I can pick my hours and remote in from home with a token when/as needed. The company also feels it is important to retain their staff and is good about paying accordingly.

With DS it has really gone a long way to keep me mentally healthy so that I am a better mommy when I am with him. Yep, as much as I'd like to say I would love being a SAHM, in reality, I need the work/adult interaction to keep balanced.

We have a woman who watches him in her home with other kids, and he has made some good friends - learned how to play well with other kids. She has been watching children for 15 years+ and does it because she loves the kids... not for the money. I've learned we are also blessed because even when we add these two, our total monthly childcare costs will only be around $800 (for all three). With three college educations to pay for, the need to find a vehicle we can all fit in and other bills, it financially makes sense for me to work, too.

So, SAHM or working mom - whatever works to keep your family happy is my vote!