for those with twins and a little one

Hi all! I have 3.5 year old ID twin girls who are really, REALLY close. Lucky for me that 95% of the time they play really well together ... but now that the baby is one and wants to play with them (so, sooooooo badly bless her heart) they are so mean to her. They tell me all the time that they want me to "take Caroline away." As in they want me to take her to another room so that they can play without her in the way ... not that they want me to get rid of her totally (lets hope not anyway I know that she can be annoying to them ... like messing with their things that they have "just right" (you know how toddlers are) or heaven forbid trying to roll around in the ooh so awesome kitty cat bed that they just made (just to be clear, we don't have a cat?!?!?) Anyway, I won't let them play with markers or stampers or squinkies or anything that will be a horrid mess or dangerous for her while she is awake so ... I know, I KNOW that it must be annoying but come on ... can't they throw the poor kid a bone sometimes?? Any tips on what I can do? Activities that maybe they could all do together? Poor baby ... she is just so heartbroken when they are mean to her ... cries and cries ... throws her baby head back in misery. Makes me want to have another baby just so she can have a playmate (seriously!) ... TIA!

 

Boy.... Mine are spaced about the same and they all get along GREAT! But I have a boy singleton, maybe that's why?? You'd think having another girl to play dress-up with would be a bonus.

Ever since he could crawl my son has been playing with his sisters. Maybe do activities together with them to begin with, then slowly take yourself out of the equation??

I'm sorry I'm not much help - hopefully it gets better though.

 

Mine are not too bad with their little sister, although, like you we have to wait to do some activities because of small pieces or the mess factor. One twin is way more loving towards her and the other one can be mean. When they do show love or attention to her I praise them a lot. I explain to them when she seems to be bugging them to play that she just wants to play with then - that she wants to be a big girl like they are. Sometimes I have them show her a song, make her laugh, or we play with some baby toys with her and they give her toys. Sometimes to make the baby feel included I will help her play the twins' game. For example, if they are playing on their climber, I will help her go down the slide, or if the girls are having a race, I will pick her up and then she can "run" with them. Could they pretend that she is their "kitty"? I do let them do their thing too though and I will take the baby. I don't want them to resent her. Hopefully that helps.

 

:hug: this has to be tough! I wish I had some advice but I don't... Mine are closer in age and never really leave him out... if anything they leave out my dd. I would just continue to talk to them about playing nicely with the little one and then maybe you playing with Caroline will help?
Good luck! I hope it's just a phase!

 

My kids have a bigger spacing between them but they do leave their brother out sometimes, especially when he was younger. Now that he is older and can play a little better with them, they play nicer together. Play doh is one thing that they all could do together or for him it was trains. All three loved playing trains together (now my son doesn't like playing with one of my daughters, she tries to take over and he likes his trains a certain way). It does take time and as they get older them playing together gets more frequent. I still make sure if my girls don't want to play with him that they have their space but sometimes I do ask them to play with him. My one daughter has always gotten along better with him than my other one (one is more nurturing than the other). If we play board games my son would be on my team so he could participate but then the girls would still get to have fun playing a game. They loved dressing him up too in dresses and different things so that was always a fun game for them and he loves playing dress up.

 

We haven't really had too much of a problem with this yet. Ryder just likes to be with them ALL the time and sometimes they get annoyed with him but for the most part they've been really good with him. They have just started to get into the imagination thing - my DD loves playing with her kitchen and knocks over baby brother when he tries to play with her so that has been a struggle. What I have really encouraged is if the little one is trying to "steal" a toy they are playing with then they should find him something to play with and then he'll leave them alone. So far they've gotten that - but they're just barely over 2. Do they like dressing Caroline up? LOL My two put hats and stuff on Ryder and they all think it's the most hilarious thing. There is a 16 month age difference so I'm hoping they will all be able to play decent together as Ryder gets older. It's hard on the little ones when they just want to play with their older siblings. Maybe when Caroline is napping try to give the older two some special time to have big girl play or something?

 

My 4 year olds always want Lennox with them. Even when Lennox doesn't want to go! They like showing him the ropes and also trying to get him in trouble! I'm sorry your girls are doing that to Caroline!

 

I think it is just their age. My younger DS (20 months) is 18 months behind the twins (3 yrs, 2 months) and they are just now starting to accept him. His sister will sometimes play with him but brother is more likely to knock him down as he is walking by, not kidding! Just this week they are starting to give the little guy a hug and kiss when he goes to bed.

Darla