For those who raise your kids alone

DH just got a job as an OTR truck driver and of course he leaves Sunday (first day) and yesterday one of my 19-month olds gets sick with a fever and throwing up. Fever is around 103. He was up threw the night last night throwing up. How do you moms do it when DH is not around? I am SOOO tired, and I feel sooo Bad for Logan. I don't know how to do this on my own. I was usually the one to take care of them if they were sick threw the night (that I can handle) but when he threw up, usually DH would come out and help whether it be cleanng up or comforting one of the kids. No I have to juggling a frightened toddler, cleaning up, the waking of the other toddler, the dogs banging at the door to go out. I am afraid I am going to lose my mind if I don't figure this whole single mother thing down.

 

I have definitely experienced the nights of vomit and obviously would prefer not to but I have just done what needs to be done. One night Kayla was sick about every 20 minutes to I pulled the memory foam topper off my mattress, put it in their room and layed on the floor so I could be ready with the bucket (hopefully they meant I wouldn't have to do any more laundry than necessary and I was there for her when it happened).

It is going to take some time to get a routine down and have everyone adjust to the change. If tiredness is the biggest issue right now then I would try to nap when they do (if they do nap and if you are home with them during that time, not sure how your day goes) or would plan on going to bed immediately when they do at night to try to regroup. It has been a long time since I was in bed when they were but I definitely used that as an option if I was running on empty.

Not sure how long DH's road trips will be but if they aren't too long I would plan to let some things slide that are not imperative to you and the children's survival until he returns. If they are rather long and you need to get everything done, I take 30 minutes after they go to bed (this is after you have caught up on some sleep!!) to do some chores. Set the timer! Take those 30 minutes to do as many chores as you can, I was amazed when I actually timed myself and found it took 4 minutes to load the dishwasher, 6 minutes to run down and start a load of laundry (no I can't remember the actual times anymore but just trying to give a rough recollection). Anything I didn't get done in that 30 minutes waited until the next day's 30 minutes. After that time I made sure to do something I enjoyed and was solely for me before heading off to bed.

Good luck, I hope everyone is feeling better soon!

 

QUOTE(Dianne @ Jun 12 2007, 09:02 AM) [snapback]288856[/snapback]
It is going to take some time to get a routine down and have everyone adjust to the change. If tiredness is the biggest issue right now then I would try to nap when they do (if they do nap and if you are home with them during that time, not sure how your day goes) or would plan on going to bed immediately when they do at night to try to regroup. It has been a long time since I was in bed when they were but I definitely used that as an option if I was running on empty.

Not sure how long DH's road trips will be but if they aren't too long I would plan to let some things slide that are not imperative to you and the children's survival until he returns. If they are rather long and you need to get everything done, I take 30 minutes after they go to bed (this is after you have caught up on some sleep!!) to do some chores. Set the timer! Take those 30 minutes to do as many chores as you can, I was amazed when I actually timed myself and found it took 4 minutes to load the dishwasher, 6 minutes to run down and start a load of laundry (no I can't remember the actual times anymore but just trying to give a rough recollection). Anything I didn't get done in that 30 minutes waited until the next day's 30 minutes. After that time I made sure to do something I enjoyed and was solely for me before heading off to bed.


Dianne's advice is excellent! My DH works long hours but is home every night (though he does travel more than I expected). I'm not in the same situation as you, but I do remember the transition from having him around a lot to not nearly as much. I do exactly what Dianne suggested. After all three kiddos are in bed, I spend one hour (tops) cleaning up, paying bills, and other chores. After that, I usually check email or watch tv or read. I also try to do some chores throughout the day so that I'm not bombarded by them at night. Our laundry is on the second floor, so I often take the kids upstairs to play for awhile while I do some laundry. Or, I'll put them at the kitchen table with crayons while I unload the dishwasher.

Make sure you are taking time for yourself... even when you have a sick child. Chores will wait. If you need a few minutes to regroup while they are napping, take a bath or watch some tv and veg out. You won't be any good to any of them if you are feeling run down and tired.

It is a huge adjustment to go from having a lot of help to being on your own. The thing that always helps is to remind myself that this is really a short period of time when your kids are this dependent. This stage will not last forever. So, as hard as it is, try to enjoy all the concentrated time you are spending with them (which is hard to do when you are cleaning up puke!). It will get easier as you establish a new routine. Take care and I hope your kids are feeling better very soon!

 

Thanks ladies. This is definetly an adjustment period. He just started this (he used to be home everynight and weekends, now it will be every 6 to 7 days for only 36 hours home). I don't think the adjustment would be that difficult, but Logan threw me for a loop with getting sick. I was hoping it was just the high fever and nothing else (that nasty virus going around), but he has the throwing up and high fever, so i guess a different virus which I am sure the other will get soon too. Luckily my mom is coming down today to help out cause I have be at our local VFD for an audit since I am treasurer. Usually I am just a SAHM but this is the one week I have to do something and I can't put off. Hopefully he will feel better soon and Dakota won't get it and I can start with the adjustment of being on my own with them. I love the ideas you all have given. I will definetly put them to use. thanks again,

Keri

 

Keri, it will get easier and harder. I am alone all week during the week too and sometimes by the end of the week I am fried, but you'll get used to it. I find that getting them out of the house is a big sanity saver. It makes the time go by a little quicker!! :hug99: