? for those who have very early risers

Hi, as you may or may not know, I am having such a hard and frustrating time trying to figure out a nap/bedtime schedule for my girls. I have been receiving some great advice from the ladies here and I have been trying some of the stuff they have suggested but nothing is working. Perhaps I haven't tried long enough but my main problem is this: [SIZE=14pt]What kind of schedule do I try to get them on when they are waking up between 5 and 5:30 in the am?[/SIZE]

It would be GREAT if they woke up at 7am every morning because I could easily transition them to a 1 nap day and put them to bed at 7. Unfortunately, no matter what time I put them to bed, earlier or later, they wake up around 5 or 5:30 and Lorien often wakes up before 5!! She simply can not make it on one nap a day. She also wakes up for a good hour almost every night. I have been trying to force them to stay up until at least 10:30am for their nap and then keep them up until a new 6:30 bed time (used to be 7:30) but I feel like I am torturing them as they (specifically Lorien) are soooooo tired by 6:30 that they literally pass out in our arms during our snuggle/bottle time. The past couple of days that I have been doing this they have only been napping anywhere from 45min to 1 1/2 hours. It's horrible. I just know that they are not getting enough sleep. I just want to cry. Ok, now I am crying. I'm so tired. It's 14 months already and sleep around here has never been consistent or solid.

The one thing I haven't tried yet are the blackout shades. I'm just not sure that it would make a difference cause the fact is, even when it is still dark in the early am, they are STILL WAKING UP!!!

 

I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time. You are not alone. My kids are 18 months and also not very good sleepers. This morning everyone was up at 5:15am including Mommy. And there is no crib playing.. sleeping or screaming are apparantly the only options. I do feel the blackout shades helps with naps a little, so you should defintely try that out.

Just hang in there and look at the positives if you get too frustrated. They stay in their crib. If they wake up in the middle of the night, they usually just play, right? so you can still sleep? Stick with your schedule and it'll either start working or this phase will pass. I felt like crying this morning also, but I keep telling myself in a couple of more years, things will be different.

Sincerely,
Stacy

 

:hug99: It's so hard when you aren't sleeping enough! Here's what I would do (and have always done when they wake WAY too early). Our wake up time is never earlier than 7. You could make it 6 or 6:30, whatever works for you. If I absolutely HAD to go in, I treated it like a middle of the night waking and left. No matter what time they'd wake in the morning, 7 was our start time so nap was 9:30 or 10 and then around 2ish. I think you probably need to keep two naps until things settle in. Then put them to bed at 12hrs after your get up time. Keep a very consistent schedule for at least a week, it may take two, for them to settle into the new routine. Once they are settled, you can try to switch to one nap. I hth, I'd be happy to elaborate more on what we do/have done if you'd like, just ask!

 

:hug99: I'm not at that age yet, but I feel your sleepless pain..

 

Well, here's the thing. They wake up usually around 5-5:30. My dh gets up at 5 for work so they usually wake up sometime while he is getting ready for work. During this time, dh will put on a baby einstien movie for them which they watch from their cribs but lately they just don't care to watch and just start making these very loud noises which echo so loud on the monitor that I want to slam the thing against the wall. My rule was always, no getting them before 6am because by then, they have often been awake in their crib for an hour and they are so hungry by then that I feel it would be just plain cruel to make them wait any longer. My one dd really needs 2 naps the other usually goes with just one but that also means no break for mommy because Lorien by 9 is exhausted and Arwen could probably go down at 11 and doesn't need another nap. I guess I'm just being incredibly selfish as I just want a break so badly during the day to re-group. I just can't leave them in their cribs until 7. That would be almost 2 hours of sitting there doing nothing. We put a couple of books and toys in their bed but that doesn't last so long before they are bored.

So if I do this 12 hour schedule which people have suggested, do I put them to bed 12 hours from when THEY wake up? That would mean putting them to bed at like 5:30pm. That just seems too early to put them to bed, no?? Or do I put them to bed at 6pm which is 12 hours from when I take them out of the crib??

And where do I get black out shades??

 

I have been there too. My one daughter still goes through phases where she wakes up WAY too early, but she is old enough now that I tell her she can't get up until the clock says 7. I mainly wanted to reply to this to let you know that my daughters required 2 naps until they were 18 months, and even then one of them could have really used 2 naps. I tried to keep one of the naps really short so I could start instituting a longer afternoon nap.

I did get the blackout shades (finally) and they really seem to help - it took about a week though for my early riser to start sleeping later after I put up the shades. I got mine online from a store called National Allergy (you might find them elsewhere, this is just the 1st place I found them; they are nice): http://www.natlallergy.com/product.asp?pn=1374

 

I'm back! Is it possible that they hear dh getting ready for work and it wakes them up? Do you use any white noise in their room? We have a big fan on high and a thick, black contractor garbage bag over the window. It isn't cruel for them to stay in their cribs til a reasonable hour. You could do 6p to 6a, 6:30p to 6:30a, 7p to 7a, whatever you want. At their age they can easily go the night without eating. My twins eat dinner about 5:30, go to bed between 7:30 and 8 and don't have breakfast until at least 8am. Are they hungry? Yes. Are they starving? No. Until about 15mos, they got water with dinner and a cup of milk before bed. It is totally possible that when they realise that they don't get up until a set time no matter how long they've been awake, they may actually go back to sleep or stay asleep! Oh, and turn the monitor down! LOL

 

QUOTE(double-or-nothing @ Jul 2 2007, 12:27 PM) [snapback]314407[/snapback]
Hi, as you may or may not know, I am having such a hard and frustrating time trying to figure out a nap/bedtime schedule for my girls. I have been receiving some great advice from the ladies here and I have been trying some of the stuff they have suggested but nothing is working. Perhaps I haven't tried long enough but my main problem is this: [SIZE=14pt]What kind of schedule do I try to get them on when they are waking up between 5 and 5:30 in the am?[/SIZE]

It would be GREAT if they woke up at 7am every morning because I could easily transition them to a 1 nap day and put them to bed at 7. Unfortunately, no matter what time I put them to bed, earlier or later, they wake up around 5 or 5:30 and Lorien often wakes up before 5!! She simply can not make it on one nap a day. She also wakes up for a good hour almost every night. I have been trying to force them to stay up until at least 10:30am for their nap and then keep them up until a new 6:30 bed time (used to be 7:30) but I feel like I am torturing them as they (specifically Lorien) are soooooo tired by 6:30 that they literally pass out in our arms during our snuggle/bottle time. The past couple of days that I have been doing this they have only been napping anywhere from 45min to 1 1/2 hours. It's horrible. I just know that they are not getting enough sleep. I just want to cry. Ok, now I am crying. I'm so tired. It's 14 months already and sleep around here has never been consistent or solid.

The one thing I haven't tried yet are the blackout shades. I'm just not sure that it would make a difference cause the fact is, even when it is still dark in the early am, they are STILL WAKING UP!!!

 

My twins are 15 months. They wake around 5:30 am. first nap from 8 am-9:30. I wake them at 9:30 or they have problems with their afternoon nap. They nap again at 12:30 or 1:00 for an hour and a half and they go to bed at 7.

 

I would definitly get some white noise into the rom if you don't have it already. And the black out shades might help also. But that being said, my girls get up about 6:15 everymorning, and there's no stopping it. I have just learned to deal with it. Also, with the black out shade you might find that once you transition to 1 nap a day, it will be a great nap. Once I transitions to 1 nap in the afternoon, it is usually 2.5 to 3 hrs long. If that does happen, at least you get more time for yourself, in a longer strech.

 

I don't have any advice for you, but wanted to let you know that I'm going through it with Trevor too. He has been waking for the most part around 6:30, well this morning and a few other days it's been 5:40am. I do not go in and get him until at least 6:45, I hoping he will fall back asleep. One day last week he did until 7:45, this morning he didn't, and I finally got him at 6:45. Mine are in separate rooms so I know his babbling won't wake Emilie. I am hoping this is just a phase and will end. So you are not alone!

 

You are not alone and YOU ARE NOT CRUEL! Your girls sound like healthy kids with very common - if exhautsing - sleep practices. And you sound like a caring, sensitive parent that is undergoing enormous physical and emotional stress. It is torture.

Here are some more ideas from a mom that's been to sleep h*ll and back (and sometimes back in).

1. Set a realistic deadline for change. Just like learning anything - how to drive, speak a language, play an instrument, etc. Assume it will take at least 3 weeks for you and girls to learn different habits. You will all need to practice regularly and consistently - DH included.

2. Ditch the Baby Einstein - as pp said, sounds like DH may be inadvertently triggering them to wakeup. As calming as it seems, it is a lot of visual stimulation. Lorien might be looking forward to it. White noise might help slow down her jack-in-the box reaction at 5am.

3. Recruit a Sleep Helper for the learning period. See if you can get someone who is an experienced caregiver, babysitter, twin grandmother, neighbor, doula, anyone you trust to keep an eye on the girls overnight for a few weeks while you sleep OUT OF EARSHOT - unplug the monitor. Seriously.

It will likely take your body a while to catch up on sleep, but don't give up. I felt horrible guilt the first few nights without the monitor. Like I was abandoning my children. But DH pointed out that I could barely recognize the boys anyway after so much sleep deprivation. I really needed help!

It may sound like a lot to ask - or pay - someone to be a Sleep Helper, but imagine trying to learn to drive a car without any help.

4. Feber book. If you haven't read it, you may want to. For me it helped differentiate between normal/common sleep issues and major medical problems. This alleviated some of my "bad mother" anxiety. DH said it helped him feel like we weren't so helpless and totally at the mercy of the little monsters. (Yes, we did call them that sometimes. I'm being honest.)

5. Shades - Trash bag idea sounds like great quick fix! Why not try it? Wish I thought of that. I got shades at Ikea. But think we need anti-allergy ones now.

Really, really hope you feel better soon!

 

Is this mostly during the week or on the weekends, too? Or are the weekends maybe alittle better?
My DD was doing that every morning waking up really early. Finally, we realized that they heard DH's alarm going off and that is why they were waking up so early. Since then, we have started using our cell phones as our alarms (with a musical tone) and realize that we HAD to get up and shut the alarm off or the babies would wake. That was reason enough, we barely hit the snooze anymore for fear of waking them up.
Do a test drive. Have your DH sleep in a different room one night (far away from the babies room) and have him set a different alarm (maybe on a day he doesn't have to get up). See if the kids still wake up so early.
I hope that will help!

 

First of all... :hug99: At 15 months we're in the same boat. I finally lost it last month (and also posted in desperation) about the same issues...two naps too many, one nap not enough, waking up to early, not sleeping through the night.

One day I decided we're going to one nap and that's that. It sucked the first week. I just planned an outing (even if that just meant strolling the aisles of Target) EVERY morning between 8:30-10:30. There were a few times when they caught a 5-minute nap in the car to/from our outing. There were a few times I reached back and bounced one of them awake to preserve the eminent nap. :blush: I always made sure the car ride was not more than 10- or 15-minutes.

4 days after moving to one nap we started CIO to treat our night wakings. Things dramatically improved after about 3 nights. We still had little crying bouts (3-5 minutes) during the night for another week or so. Now, they sleep until morning, which, unfortunately comes at around 5:30am.

About 3 weeks after starting all this transition I decided we could NOT start the day before 6am. We have had blackout shades since before they were born, so that wasn't the issue (Home Depot did ours custom, BTW). I was desperate to show them some signal that it was morning, so I purchased simple lamp timers and plugged some colored nightlights into the timers and set them to come on at 6am. I made a big deal about how the light would get "BRIGHT-BRIGHT!" (with firework-like hand motions). Then as part of our bedtime routine I tell them how they are big boys and need to go back to sleep on their own if they wake up in the night. I tell them that they'll know it's time to wake up when their light gets BRIGHT, BRIGHT! and that Mommy will come get them when they see the light.

That was about 5 days ago. Nick still cries off and on for the 30-minutes or so that I am making him wait. He has woken Joe up every morning. However, at only 5 days into it his solid screams have turned into off-and-on cries. This morning he actually was singing/playing to himself for a good 15-minutes before softly cry-fussing off and on for the last 10 minutes. The other downside of all this "training" is that Nick is waking Joe up EVERY morning. Joe will sing/play, but I feel bad b/c I'm sure he'd sleep until 6:30 or so if it weren't for Nick's morning antics.

Sorry to go on and on. I'm not saying this will work for you, just wanted to give you an idea of how I've been handling what sounds like the same issues. We're still not in what I would consider "ideal" sleeping, but have improved exponentially from where we were a month ago.

Feel free to PM me if you need to vent/compare notes more.

 

I want to thank you all for your responses to my post. It really means so much when people care to take the time to try and help you out when you are in a very difficult, frustrating and/or exhausting phase of being a mom. Sleep has been an issue in this house from the day they came home from the hospital. Unfortunately, I didn't discover this site until my girls were already 4 months old and I could have certainly used some info early on. I will be attempting several things that you have all suggested. I know I have to be patient but it can just be so hard sometimes (but you all know that). I'm going to play around with schedule a bit more and see if I can get them on to 1 nap a day but if Lorien just can't handle it and needs that extra cat nap, I'm not going to force her to stay awake to the point that she is just losing it. I have to remember that these are two totally different little girls and things aren't always going to be the same for them, including their sleep habits. Thank you again for being there and offering your advice and experience. It means the world to me.