For those that take your kids to church/temple/etc...

Do your kids come with you to the service? And if so, do they sit quietly for the entire service?

Yesterday, our family (DH, myself, all three kids, MIL, FIL and SIL) all went to Rosh Hashanah services together. Our temple changed their babysittying policy, so they will only care for children 24 months and above. It seemed silly to send N & G into the babysitting room while we took O into the service, so we instead choose the "Family Service." All children are welcome at that service and I thought it would be geared a little more towards young children. DH and I have been to family services before that had more music, skits and even puppet shows. That's what I thought we would be getting, not to mention a shorter service. However, when we received the program, we realized that the only thing geared towards kids was an insert for them to color and that the program had been shortened to about 90 minutes (from 2.5 hours).

Needless to say, my kids didn't last very long. We were in the sanctuary for about 30 minutes, went outside for 10 and then tried to come back in, but they just couldn't be still and stay quiet. So, DH and I took the kids and left (my inlaws stayed for the remainder of the service). O probably would have been fine for 90 minutes (though I still don't think he would be able to make it through 2.5 hours of a regular service). The timing didn't help - the service was at 3pm, when all three of my kids are usually napping.

Sorry this is so long. I'm just wondering if other people take their (2-3 y.o.) kids to church/temple on a regular basis? Is this something that takes practice or something I should just wait and try again in another year.

Thanks!

 

We used to take our oldest to Mass with us on a fairly regular basis - no babysitting at all here. With the twins, even with a cry room, it is next to impossible, so DH goes with her, and normally I hang at home with the twins. She is starting Sunday school this week, so our plan is to take her to her class, then take the twins with us. But it's only an hour long - nothing to compare to 2.5 hours! And they have a section designated as "family friendly" - there are kids all over the place in our section. Some sitting, some crawling, some crying, some singing, ... you get the idea.

Oh - and no, our 3 yr old does not sit quietly thru the service, even with a pack of fruit snacks and some coloring pages. But she is getting better at it!

 

Where I go to Temple they insisted that the young kids to to "Torah for Tots" but the usually have babysitting for all ages. But things are a little different this year because our temple is going through renovations.

 

my DH doesn't come to church with us, so , i bring the 5 kids with me! no, they don't dit quietly and i dont' care. we go to the family mass and i try my best to keep them entertained. it is not easy and i get very little out of the mass but i figure the more we go the easier it wil be. my older 3 are very helpful and try to entertain the little two but they really just don't want to pay attention either. sometimes, if the boys are asleep, i just take the girls.

my church doesn't have a cry room and if it did i don't think that i would use it (unless really bad day, but then i would just leave). imo, my parish should be designed around the family, not vice versa and if someone has a problem with children at church than i suggest they look at their own idea of Christianity!

 

We took our kids into church services when they were babies, until they were about a year old. But, we sat in the back and often had to take at least one of them out to quiet down. After that they went to a nursery for most of the service (and I think my church will let until 12 month olds into the nursery) and they just come in for the last part of the service. Even that is a challenge, but we figure they will slowly get used to what type of behavior is expected. At our church kids 4 to about 7 come to the first part of the srevice, then are led to another room for a separate children's church, and then return again near the end of the service. So, not until above age 7 is there a big expectation that they will stay and participate nicely in the whole service.

 

As infants, yes, we brought them into the service. When they got to be early toddlers, we either put them in the nursery or one of us stayed home. We were getting nothing out of the service having to chase them around and keep them from bothering people around us.

Once my boys started preschool, around 3-1/2, they were ready to sit still through an hour-long service, with the help of toys, pencils/papers, and suckers. By age 4, we left all snacks and drinks at home. Currently, they either pay attention to the service, or they sit and draw.

 

We take every Sunday that we go. They are in service with us. We generally sit in the back of the church and they are active most Sundays. We just deal with it and smile at the people that look annoyed. :winking0009:

 

Ours go to the nursery, but when they turn 4 they can go to the beginning of the service. Near the middle before the sermon they have children time and all the children go up and have a special sermon for them. After that all the children go to children's church. I think it is nice and the children really enjoy it.

 

My mom doesn't go to services, so until the boys were 3, they stayed home with her. At 3 they started going to the preschool program, and now they go to the K program. The only time we bring them to the regular service is for the end of Yom Kippur services, they are there for about an hour, and they call all the kids up to the bima for the Havdallah ceremony, so they can participate that way.

Sorry you had a rough time Catherine, next year it will be easier. And for Yom Kippur, I would put N & G in the babysitting then you only have to deal with Oliver.

 

This is why I love my church. They have childrens service and nursery in the back for all kids up to age 10 (and then they can help out). They get to sing and have a lesson designed just for the kids. They are also teaching the 3-10 yr olds how to sit still and be quiet during the sermon/lesson. This way the parents and other adults get the most out of the sermon being offered in the front. Which is wonderful too...my pastor is an awesome speaker.

I thank God I found this church and the people in it. I give back by helping in the nursery or childrens church every second Sunday.


Brandy

 

We go to Catholic mass almost weekly. As infants,we took them in their carriers. As they became mobile, things got "hairy". Our church is small and has no cry room or nursery.

It's difficult to keep a toddler in one spot and quiet for 1 hour. My one son, Ben has always just had an easier time of being able to sit still. During the rough phase (15-22months), I basically went to church alone with Ben. He was content to just sit. I really didn't have to take much with me to occupy him. I think he enjoyed mommy's full attention.

During that same time, Luke stayed home with daddy. He was just all over the place at that age! We spent more time in the back of church or outside with him than in the mass. It was very disruptive. We started going as a family again around age 2.5yrs. Snacks, cars and books really helped Luke (and still do). By age 3yrs, Luke improved and now (over 3.5yrs) he's pretty good. I think that things improve with basically maturity as well as practice.

 

Our church has a nursery with wonderful staff and volunteers, so we drop them off and go to the service down the hall. It's great! I'm sorry your temple made a minimum age!

 

We take the twins to church most Sundays. The 10am mass is actually the Children's liturgy, where older children go to a special session for part of the mass, but the crying room for that time is full of toddlers and my girls get into all kinds of mischief with all the other kids. We get nothing out of it because we are chasing them.

We usually try to go at 8am when the crying room is usually empty. It's early and a rush to get there, but we actually do get to listen to the priest that way.

 

We have a very welcoming church - not necessarily full of young families, but friendly nonetheless. All four of us go every Sunday morning at 10 (nap time). Loaded up with a bag full of snacks, soft toys, and drinks, we feel pretty well prepared. Our girls often get excited and want to "talk" loudly, but we quickly respond to them in whispers and they've learned how to whisper back. Service lasts about an hour to an hour and fifteen minutes. The girls wiggle and try to escape pretty much the whole time, and when church is done, we're all pretty tuckered out. We come straight home and they go down for a nap (and sometimes, we go to sleep for a bit, too).

Last Sunday, our priest stopped us on our way out to say how pleased he is to see us regularly. Then he mentioned that over the past 40 years, he's seen a real difference in the families who bring their little ones from the start vs. ones who start the kids at 3 or 4. The ones whose kids grow up being used to the setting are much better behaved and it's worth it in the end. It was nice to hear his reassurance.

I'm glad you tried taking your family. Know that you're not alone in wishing services would be shorter sometimes, and that many of us have to make a trip or two outside to quiet a little one. But I think it's worth it down the road. Hang in there!

 

I can't bring my boys together but I can generally bring them one on one. Together, they fight over me and feed off each other and it's just a nightmare.

 

I take my kids pretty regularly to tot shabbat - it's all young kids and just songs and stories and talking about the parsha but geared towards them and they can get up and run around, although they are pretty good. this year, i MAY try taking them upstairs to the regular service for 30 mins or so before tot shabbat (which is an hour) - at the back of our sanctuary there is an open area where they usually have toys set up - so as long as the kids aren't super loud, i'll be able to deal with them.

however, i left them with our nanny on RH because i wanted to enjoy the service - on YK i have no choice since it's sat - but i figure i will go to, and enjoy, kol nidre, on my own (dh isn't jewish) and then brave taking them on YK as described above - 30 mins in regular service and then we'll go to tot service (which is also an hour on high holidays). it helps that i have friends in the congregation with older kids so there will be lots of extra hands to entertain and hold my two since it will just be me without dh to help

hope you figure out something more enjoyable for everyone for YK! l'shana tova

 

I take my girls to church with me and they sit with me for the first part of our service and after ,until they were 4, where put in a nursery so I could attend classes without them, now they go to their own class and I have my own class also. They still have days when they dont want to be very quiet and cant stay still but there are alot of children in our church so most people dont notice.

 

My oldest is 5 and I have trouble getting him to stay put. I usually don't take the twins ever. They cry and whine at church. DH and I take turns taking my oldest to church until the twins are older.

 

We go every week (sometimes once or twice during the week, too). We have found that it's just plain tough work until the child is about 5-6 years old (some, obviously, have a lot more trouble than others). Our twins have hit the "wiggle worm" stage and their older brother is a "new" 4, so these 3 keep us hopping. Thankfully, our oldest daughter has finally settled down and the two big boys are usually on the altar serving.

When we "divide and conquer", and leave some of the younger ones home with the other parent, we have found the next time we go to Mass they behave worse. So, I'd just stick with it. It's just a few years of training and then they'll be fine.

 

QUOTE(ruthjulia @ Sep 14 2007, 10:06 PM) [snapback]408602[/snapback]
I take my kids pretty regularly to tot shabbat - it's all young kids and just songs and stories and talking about the parsha but geared towards them and they can get up and run around,



I think that is what Torah for Tots is at my Temple. My Rabbi's wife started it when they came to our temple 28 years ago. I think that it is great because many of the older members of my temple are not fond of young kids running around.

Shana Tovah to you as well!!!

 

Practice practice practice! Our almost-3-yr-olds have been going to church with us since they were 2 mo. old. At this age they are hard to keep quiet, even with plenty of quiet activities. After our main "service" which lasts 1 hr 10 min, they go to a nursery with activities, games, snacks, lessons, ect. They love that and they know it's coming so sometimes they have a hard time waiting for it.

DH and I feel that when we go to church we are where we're supposed to be and we're setting a good example for our children. No, we don't always hear the talks and sing the hymns, but we still feel the Spirit (most of the time!) and partake of the Sacrament and that's why we go.

I would say keep taking them on a regular basis. It will get them used to worshiping, even if they don't always make it all the way through.

 

didn't' read other's replies. i take the girls to church every wk. they sit in the singing but not quiet during the message so we go back to "tiny tots". our church provides nursery for 0-2 and tiny tots for 2-4. A&R not ready to sit thru the sermon message which is 30-40min. I think they will understand quiet in another 6-8months and be able to accomplish this. I will attempt it after we practice "playing church" at home in the living room.

 

I've only recently started taking mine to Mass again. I take them by myself and I don't like to sit in the cry room b/c I feel like it encourages bad behavior. So now I take them and let them choose a book or other quiet toy to bring with them. I've also taken markers/coloring books. Mass is usually about an hour long and I try to go in the morning when they are well rested. They like the music and go up to communion with me to get a blessing from the priest. I also signed them up for CCD (Sunday School) this year so they can go to that while I go to Mass.