For those of you with helpers/nannies

I am a SAHM (for now) and I have a helper here during the day who helps with the babies, she is 27 with no kids of her own. She is very caring with the babies but doesn't seem to have the same level of common sense that most mom's have. So as result I am only comfortable leaving her with the babies when they are sleeping, or perhaps when the babies are awake but I am in the house. Is this normal, do you feel comfortable leaving your babies?
My dh says that I am being overprotective and that she would do fine with both babies for the 1.5hrs they are awake, so I should get out of the house more often - but I just dont quite feel comfortable with her. For instance my husband put ds up on his shoulders the other day, dh is VERY careful when doing this, so i trust him 100%. Well, the next day my helper was putting my ds up her shoulders - I yelled "yikes, no", she took my son down immediately and has not done it since. But as result of this and a few other little things, she seems to be lacking some common sense!
We are getting another helper who should be here in about a month - she is a lady from the phillipines who is 31 with 2 kids of her own and I soooo hope she is good. I have talked to her on the phone a few times and she seems very good, but who knows!

I think I am just so frustrated to have help, that isn't really a big help!
I am not sure what my point is other then do those of you with daytime help take lots of breaks, do you feel comfortable leaving both the babies with your nanny/helper? Am I just being overly paranoid...

 

i'm replying although I didnt have full time help with the kids. the help I had was teenagers who were willing to clean the house, fold the laundry, clean toys, and "play" with the kids while I napped occassionally. I didnt ever leave the twins alone with one teen, I always had 2 when they were under a year. I never felt i was being over protective. over worrisome yes. i'm sure that having a new nanny/helper will make you feel better. Maybe think about specific things that your helper can do for you around the house.

 

I feel totally comfortable leaving my kids with the nanny. Our first nanny we found on Craigslist, and we checked 6 different references and ran a background check on her. Our second nanny is DH's niece, she's young but we trust her with the kids.

I work FT from home, so I'm here most of the time. But I do travel for work and I don't hesitate to do that. I also run errands and leave them all here.

How long has she worked for you? I know I had to be around the nanny for a while (maybe 2-3 weeks) before I'd leave. Did you run any background checks, etc.?

 

If your gut tells you that she's not right go with it. I understand your frustration b/c I'm sure the whole point of having extra help is to allow you a little R & R. Hopefully, the new women will be better and you can get out of the house a bit. Good Luck!

 

I have a nanny come a few hours a day while I work from home. At first, I didn't feel comfortable at all because she did things different. Now that she has been here for over a month, I totally trust her. She does have teenagers so she is a mom. If you don't feel comfortable, maybe look for someone else. Did she have good references? There are many people who do not have children but are great with them and have tons of experience. I think my issue was giving control to someone else.

 

I work 3 days/week and have a nanny. The first two weeks, I was home (and work of my days/week from home as well). It's hard for me... not really because I think she doesn't have common sense, but because when I'm there and she's there, I sometimes don't like the way she does things. I try not to focus on it, because they really are little things and she does such a good job overall. I think it's a control thing for me (not really what you were asking, but .... )

Anyway, just be as upfront as you can with your helper/nanny... I think that's the best thing to do so your the most comfortable. And if you're not comfortable, don't leave until you are.

 

We have a nanny and I am totally comfortable with her. Sometimes I think she has more common sense than ME! For instance, the boys each had one shot at their last dr's appt. That night when we were getting them ready for bed, we noticed that his leg was quite red and swollen from the shot. I was thinking to myself "I'll just make sure to keep an eye on it". While I'm thinking that, she's on the phone calling her sister (and my really good friend) who's a nurse. She actually called her at work. It made me feel so good. I would feel comfortable leaving my boys with here for a month if a had to. She frequently watches them alone for entire days.

Saying all this...you need to go with your gut. If you don't feel comfortable, then I wouldn't leave. Hopefully the next helper will be better!

Cary

 

I've had helpers here and there. I've had them be with me while I clean, caring for them while I'm at a dr's appt. and even watch them while DH and I go out for dinner and a movie. I've always been comfortable with the help I've had as far as them watching the babies. I did have one sitter who was sort of rude towards me. So, after having her a few times I decided to find help elsewhere. I found some people in my neighborhood who were really great and cost a lot less! If you are not comfortable with her, I would look for someone else. HTH .

 

Trust your mommy instincts. Often you have a "feeling" which is just a series of small events that you can't fully put into words but combined they pain a picture. If you are the only one who has seen these small events only you can fully see this picture not your dh who is at work. I just think you can't go wrong with trusting your instincts.

Heather

 

trust your gut. we have someone at night (now down to 2x week)- from the second she walked in our door (for the interview) I knew she'd be great- and she doesn't have kids of her own, but she's worked as a nanny & w/ lots of twin-families-- so she just knows what to do.

that mama bear intuition is not something to be taken lightly.

hope you get it sorted out.

 

I leave my kids with our helper all the time. She is amazing. I wonder if you might be able to elaborate on the things that make you uncomfortable? I guess I am not really sure why your nanny having your son on her shoulders made you respond that way? She might be uncomfortable with you because she senses your fear. If thats the case she may have a hard time doing her job because she is paranoid she will make you feel uncomfortable. I guess I just wonder if you could expound a little more on the situation Bottom line is, if you don't feel good about her then you should move on.