For moms with mirror image twins

I'm visiting from the 1-2yr forum due to some curiosity. I have 19.5mo old identical twin girls, who also happen to be mirror image. Since birth the girls have always been like night and day...when one cries or is needy, the other is good; when one is sick, the other is well; when one is learning something new, the other just hangs out watching and waiting...AND then they switch...they will wake up the next day switch roles! they usually go for a few weeks or months before complete personality switches though, which is totally confusing and little frustrating for me. People are always asking me which one is more this or that and I feel like I have to give a disclaimer that says "well, it's this one, but that could change tomorrow".

So I am very curious to know if this is what my future will look like. Do they every just stick to one personality? They used to be really naughty with biting, scratching, hitting, etc, but thankfully they have both gotten much better with that in the past couple of weeks. Will they be best friends or will they be so diffent they will hate each other? I want to be realistic about their future friendship and sibling relationship, whether it's good or not. I'm just really curious how other mirror image twins are at this age (5-11)? Thanks!

 

Sorry to post this b/c mine aren't mirror image, but I think ALL twin relationships are fascinating. Just in case you could use this info...

Mine changed personalities all the time. It was such a challenge to answer the inevitable "who's the mischevious one?" (actually, that one always gave me pause b/c ALL toddlers are mischevious sometimes) or the "who's the dominant one?"
The changes became less marked over time. They still change somewhat, but not their entire personality, and not for long. More of like "one briefly picks up a habit that before only his twin would do". As time passes, they get more independent of each other.

I honestly wonder about mine, too. Right now, they enjoy each other. But DH's twin uncles went through a long period of not speaking to each other before they reconciled.
I think maybe life's experiences have as much or more to do with that as being a twin.
I'd like to think they'll stay best friends for life.

 

The Jekyll & Hyde behavior you're describing is entirely normal for any child that age, whether they have a twin or not. It could be that your older child is too far past this for you to recall but I assure you that a room full of unrelated 2YOs exhibits the same switching of roles on a whim. They are very reactive and will feed off of each others energy.

My boys are mirrored and aside from which hand they favor for writing, they are startlingly similar. I don't think that mirroring factors into personality at all.

As for whether your twins will love/hate each other, I don't think it's that much different from any sibling relationship other than the fact that people expect them to either love or hate each other with a passion and they might react to that expectation. Doing your best to reduce competition between them is a good way to reduce tensions between them.

 

When mine were younger they used to switch moods and personalities .. but as they get older they remain true to their own personality. Jesse is mild mannered and easy going. Jayden is very dominant and rules the relationship. But, that being said, they are VERY close and the best of buddies. They thrive off of each other. They are amazing to watch and I find myself watching them in awe at least once a day ! Even when we're out in public, I've had people comment on how they interact with each other and they often ask the boys if they're best friends in which they both answer a very big "YES" !

Our pedi says their mirror because of certain factors .. one is a lefty, one a righty. They're hair swirls are on the opposite side. Also when I stand behind them in the mirror .. they look like each other .. like Jayden looks more like Jesse and visa/ versa. It's sorta creepy .. lol

I just don't think there is any way to know how our twins will relate to each other as they get older .. I definitely think it will depend on their personality traits. I happen to have 2 different personalities that mesh well with each other. I've heard from many parents who have twins that get along well .. and others who have twins that don't get along. Only time will tell.

 

I agree with mom of angels. My two are not identical but this post sounds like conversations I was having about my two at that age. Now they are six, still take turns with moods! lol. But they are siblings, best friends one moment, mad as heck the next. But they know how to annoy the snot out of each other like no one else does. I worried about whether they would even like each other because it seemed like they were always fighting, but this is how they learn how to control emotions, navigate stressful situations etc. Also, I took every opportunity to ask adult twins about their relationships and got all sorts of answers. Most, were friends, very good friends, many were away due to school/work etc, missed their sib terribly but speak often. I think it is that age old, don't compare them at least when they are around, they are two different little people, encourage them to play nicely and talk about frustrations. Allow them to compete and compete fairly (good sports and all) let them have some time and some things that are theirs alone, mine normally choose to go back and share or join the other.

This was a stressful time at our house, just hold on, it is a fun (yet stressful) time. Giggles, grins, tears, tantroms. Lots of learning.

 

You could easily be describing my twins.
People always want to know, which one is the "troublemaker" or any other adjective. The answer is always when?
They grow and develop in spurts. And their spurts to not coincide. So first it's one, then it's the other and so on.