let me start off by saying, i LOVE my boys with all my heart. my twins will be a month old tomorrow & i am struggling every day with the hardships of caring for these babies. i am a VERY young mom.. 18 to be technical. when i fell pregnant with twins (pregnancy was planned.. 2 babies, however, was a total surprise), i felt blessed that i was showered with the lives of two beautiful babies. my amazing boyfriend/baby father was extremely supportive, even to this day, but warned me about how much work caring for one baby is, let alone two (he has a 5 year old son for a previous relationship). i thought everything was going to be picture-perfect and that everything would be fine.. but everything isnt fine. on march 1st, 2008, my sons, anthony & angelo came into this world. while in utero, i found out that my one son has a very common heart condition known as ventricular septal defect, commonly known as a 'hole in the heart.' WHY ME ... WHY MY BABY? now i struggle with the fact that he has to face open-heart surgery around 4-6 months to correct this & deal with the fact that is he gets too stressed out from crying, he can turn blue. i have to drop everything if angelo cries, even if i am feeding his brother, just to make sure nothing goes wrong. its so difficult. on top of this fiasco, my SO & i are no longer able to reside at his mother's house which we've been at for a couple months. the first few week of their lives, his mother was absolutely rude & uncaring.. smoking around her grandsons, saying it's her home & she can do as she pleases. this situation escalated & my man & i decided it was best to stay with my mother while we got things in order for a place of our own. a living situation has been hectic from the jump. we thought that we could try to aim for some temporary assistance from welfare just to get us up & running for a couple months. my boyfriend got knocked down to part-time work at his job & is having a hard time between juggling caring for these babies with me & going out to look for work with a decent pay score. at our appointment with welfare, we were sadly DENIED because my SO makes $27 over the budget limited. $27. how is he suppose to support him, myself, & his two children (really, 3) on $200 a week and pay over $600 a month in rent, not counting utilities, food, car insurance, etc? i dont understand how everyone else gets approved for such services & really dont need it.. WE NEED THE HELP & THERES NOTHING NOBODY CAN DO FOR US fortunately, we have WIC & my mother is such a BIG help with diapers, clothing, etc. now, while we are struggling to get things situated for a better life for our family.. we are learning to take every struggle as an opportunity to grow. thanks for listening.. well reading.. it feels better just to write things out take care & wish me some luck!
I understand completely, at least for the finacial struggle of it. I am so sorry your baby (and you) are going through medical problems, that has got to be tough. I hope things work out for you, I always thought stay positive then good things will happen. but I know that it's easier said then done. Stay strong, and don't let this struggle break you down.
Your baby boys are so precious and I can tell you are doing a great job and you are a very good mom. Having twins is the single hardest thing I have ever done and I dont have the financial issues that you are enduring. I really admire you for stepping up and being responsible for your family-that in itself says something for someone at your age. I know that where I was at in my life at age 18 I would have ran from it! Kudos to you!!! You and your SO just need to take one day at a time and stay focused on the ultimate goal-raising two (three) healthy well rounded children-the best way you can. Just remember that as long as your babies are fed, clean, have a safe warm place to sleep and have their mommy to hold them when they cry they will be just fine. You are doing a great job! Welcome to TS-you will find a lot of great people here that are willing to lend an ear and some insight! PS-I hope your baby's heart is better soon!
WOW, you are going through a lot!! I'm glad you can stay with your mom until things get figured out. I hope you can get some more help soon, are there any local charities or ministries where you can get cheap clothes or baby supplies? Anyways, I just wanted to lend you some moral support as you go through all of this on top of your son's health issues :hug99:
Just want to let you know that your doing an amazing job being a mom in your situation at 18. Not many could handle. When things get fustrating I think of a saying a freind said once "god doesn't give you more than you can handle" . Hang in there, things will get better.
You are doing a great job Mom! I hope that your little guy gets better and that your financial situation improves soon.
sendng hugs your way. It must be hard in regards to your son. I do hope that the surgery takes care of the issue. Sounds like you and your s.o. are doing all you can get yourself where you need to be. Sounds like you guys are doing great, even though it is hard, the two of you have the children's needs in mind and that says a lot about you two Dianna
:hug99: Sending hugs your way. I'm sorrry to hear you are going through such a rough time. Stay strong...things WILL get better!
:hug99: You are doing all you can to make a good life for you boys and it may take time to get all the details figured out. It's great that your mom is so willing to help and you have a good relationship with her. I'm sure she is thrilled to be a grandma and do all that she can to give them a good start. I think you are on the right track, it just may take some time and in that time you have to take care of you and the boys and be well. Also, why didn't you apply for welfare/assistance independently? You aren't married so it seems to me that you would qualify for benefits on your own without your SO. If you are getting WIC then that must be on your own... do you have a case worker you can discuss this with?
Considering that you and SO are not married, can't you apply for welfare alone? Technically, you are a single Mom with 2 kids who happens to be "dating" your babies father. I would think that the system would recognize you as being single and not married - I would try again.
QUOTE(Debbie F @ Apr 1 2008, 01:54 PM) [snapback]699141[/snapback] Considering that you and SO are not married, can't you apply for welfare alone? Technically, you are a single Mom with 2 kids who happens to be "dating" your babies father. I would think that the system would recognize you as being single and not married - I would try again. EXCELLENT IDEA! I WILL LOOK INTO THAT.. THANKS SO MUCH!
