Fluctuating Emotions

:itwins_boys: Does anyone else have mixed emotions about having twins?

This is my second pregnancy, I have a beautiful 3 year old dd at home and my emotions range from excitement to overwhelment continually.

Somedays, I hate looking at my pregnant body and other days I embrace it.

Moreover, my husband is in the military so he only comes home on the weekednd which utterly scares me....

People say twins are a double blessing, the jury is still out on that theory for me.
Anyone ever feel the same?

 

I totally know how you are feeling! Once I get to the point where I think that we will be alright with twins someone has to say "Oh, I feel bad for you" and then I am back to square one. I think that I would be dealing with it better if I knew that I could stay at home but knowing that I have to go abck to work in 6 weeks scares me to death....I don't know if we will ever be able to get on a schedule. Throw my moderate bed rest in there and I feel totally unprepared.

I am sure that we are not alone. I am so glad that I found this site. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't change anything but twins was a total shocker! :unsure:

 

Don't feel guilty. I am sure many of us could say that we identify with your roller coaster of feelings. I myself thought I was done having children and had just adjusted to the idea of having one baby, let alone two!! I got very frustrated with my family who kept trying to make me feel guilty for not being "on cloud nine" initially. I cannot tell you how many times I heard the double blessing statement. I got to the point where I said, "I will remember you saying that and call you at 2am when I have 2 crying babies."I know that sounds a little harsh, but I got so frustrated that no one would allow me process the idea and get used to it in my own time. It is easy for everyone else to get so excited because they will just be playing with them and showing them off, not taking care of them 24 hours a day. So....just take your time getting used to the idea and those feelings will continue to come and go, that is natural, we are not niave, we know what we are in for....

 

It's completely normal to feel that way! I couldn't sleep for weeks after I found out and I was ridden with anxiety one minute and happy the next. Those feelings eventually did level off and I was mostly just excited....still aware of how tough things might be....but nevertheless excited. I loved my pregnancy with my first child, but had more mixed emotions with the twins. It's a big pill to swallow!! The more I read up on things and prepared mentally, the better I felt. Plus...I already had one child, and I know how crazy in love I am with him. So I just kept thinking that I would have three little things to love like that soon! Congratulations, and enjoy it!

 

I have a 20 month old already, and I'm struggling with those same emotions myself.

 

I have a 5 year old, a 3 year old, and a husband who works a rotating shift that changes every 7 days. My emotions fluctuate btw feeling incredibly blessed and stark terror.

 

I hear ya..... one day I'm marveling at my body and reveling in soft-focus images of two babies and my toddler son giggling together, and the next day I'm on the verge of toying with the idea of putting them up for adoption once they arrive! I won't have as much husband help this time, either, and so it's pretty much impossible to entirely avoid major anxiety... you're definitely not alone.

 

My roller coaster of emotions started the day I found out it was twins and lasted until they came home from the NICU. There were so many worries then relief then worry again. I would often wonder if we'd had so many issues if it was just one baby, but you just never know. Now I can't imagine my life any differently and cherished all those extra ultrasounds I got b/c there were two. I'm a military wife too and it's not easy, but you WILL do a great job!

 

You're definitely not alone girl! I've fought and keep fighting those same emotions too. This pregnancy wasn't exactly planned, let alone the fact that there are 2 on the way and my family started giving me crap from day 1. My DH is also in the military, so i know that one as well. I was havin "one of those days" today and one of the ladies in the baby dept at nordstrom told me her story with her twins and definitely lifted my spirits. she told me how they were born at a really tough time in her life when she thought her family was already done, yet they have been one of the best blessings she ever had. Hang in there girl and dont be afraid to call out on any of us! :grouphug:

 

I go back and forth too. I wish I could just fast forward a few months past all this uncertainty and have them safe here in my arms, and then I'm sure I wouldn't have it any other way. Right now I have dreams about having twins that in reality are some of my worst fears!

I cried when they told us we were having twins.. at 19 weeks. I just didn't know what to expect, and like I said.. I don't think I'll really know until they are here. But I think it's normal for us to feel stressed and yet blessed at the same time. I keep asking God, are you sure you got the right person? But I know He doesn't make mistakes, and He'll prepare/equip me for what I need to do.

 

I cried when I saw the twins on the US too. My husband and I each have a child from a previous relationship. We wanted one together to make our little circle complete, then WHAM! - we've got twins. I cried and he sat there staring at the screen. lol

I have to admit I was once one of those people who cringed at the idea of twins. I thought they were cute and I never said anything insensitive to a mommy-to-be, but I surely never envied them! I had a hard time adjusting to having one newborn to take care of! Imagine two! But now... like the PP, I just tell myself God doesn't give us more than we can handle. It took us about two months to get over our shock. Now they have their names and they are kicking and stretching and I sit and laugh at my buddha belly watching them. I can't wait to meet them. They have totally converted me from a scaredy-cat into an excited momma.

You'll do just fine. Give yourself time to adjust, be honest about your feelings. It also helped us to talk about our apprehensions openly. Its part of the process and it doesn't mean you don't love your babies. You will come to know and love those little jellybeans as they grow inside you. :hug: