flower girls?

Hi all!

My girls will be 2 in July. I was asked for them to be flower girls in a September wedding. So, I guess ... 26 months old ...

They are pretty bright and seem to be a little advanced in most areas of development ... but, do you think at 26 months they will be able to handle this assignment? I want to say yes as it is a dear cousin's wedding and I don't think she will be a bridezilla about things ... KWIM?

What do you think??

TIA
Traci =)

 

Traci, if you have outgoing "love to be in the spotlight" children, it MIGHT work. I know for a fact that my 2 yr. olds would have NEVER stepped foot down the aisle with all those eyes looking at them. If you can WALK them down, it may work.

It's a longshot, but can make for some cute video and funnyness at their wedding!

 

I disappointed a good friend of mine by not letting my boys be in her wedding. They were about that age, and I knew they would be impossible--the wedding was also at nighttime. I was glad they stayed home and DH and I could enjoy a rare evening out.

 

Mine were in a wedding at just past 3 years old and it was almost too young. I ended up following them down the aisle because we almost had a retreat. The photographer also had trouble with the concept that when a 3 year-old says she needs to go potty that means now, not in 10 pictures. It was an afternoon wedding which helped. And it was also at a location that had a daycare room which I was able to let the kids play in before the wedding and during the reception.

We're going to be doing it again in a month for my brothers wedding. I'm thinking that 5 will be much easier.

Marissa

 

My nieces were flower girls in my wedding. My oldest niece was four and was the perfect flower girl! She loved every minute of it. My other niece was two years and 9 months and was so not ready for the job. My brother made sure they both got great naps before, but the two year old just wasn't into it. She was supposed to walk down the aisle (which was a long boardwalk to the beach) with my stepson and her sister and while she did great at the rehearsal, she refused at the wedding. As soon as my brother (he was a groomsman) started to walk down before her she threw a fit screaming "Daddy". Then she would only walk down with "Grampy" (my father). So, walking down the aisle much later than the wedding party because my neice was having a meltdown, was me, my dad, and my two year old neice. I had a very casual beach wedding and I am pretty easy going, so it really wasn't a big deal to me and my guests thought it was hilarious, but some brides would have flipped. So, it's really up to your cousin. If she really wants your girls to be in the wedding and can handle a tantrum during the vows, then I say go for it. But if it's going to ruin her night if some mishaps take place, don't. My niece is normally really well behaved and pretty bright, but as you know, even the best two year olds have their moments.

 

Our children will be in my sister's wedding in a few weeks (just a week or so shy of their 3rd birthday). She is also having my 3 1/2 year old niece and 21 month old nephew in the wedding. My other sister and I told her that we are all very honored and touched that she wants them to be a part of their special day, but we want to be sure that she understands it is a gamble. To this day...we're still not sure what is going to happen. We're hoping for the best, but you never know. We've been having them practice and I think it will help that my sister (the mother of the other children) and I will be in the bridal party, too.

I think it won't be easy to get any toddler to go down the aisle, but you never know. I think if you explain to your cousin that there is a very good chance that it might not happen and that you'd understand if she changed her mind. If she still insists that they participate, that's her choice. In fact, it may be that having them in the actual wedding pictures is more important than actually going down the aisle. KWIM?

 

There is no way that my 2 1/2 year old would walk down that aisle alone. But you know your kids best, if you think they would do it, I'm sure they would be absolutely adorable. Otherwise, I would just explain honestly to the bride that you don't think it would work out well.

 

I think it depends on what is expected of them. If the bride will want specific actions, like walking down the aisle and sprinkling petals all poised and on time, it may be too early. If they are ok with the possibility of them not cooperating, meandering down the aisle looking at people and being 2, then sure.

My neice was 3 in my wedding, and that was even pushing it a little. She did sprinkle the petals, but refused to walk when she was supposed to, she had to walk down with my sister/her mom the matron of honor. Then tap danced all through the service and was up and down up and down in seats.

 

My entire family is in a black tie, night wedding next month. My older DD is one of two flower girls and I have no doubt that she will absolutely love it. However, the boys are ring bearers and I am a ball of stress over the fact that they probably arent going to walk. So, we are going to decorate a wagon and have that and some lollipops as our "ace in the hole" fall back plan. Good luck.

 

I think you'll wind up carrying them down the aisle, but if that's OK with you (and especially if you can bail out if they're wailing), then you might as well give it a try. I would also not expect them to stand up front during the ceremony, but rather have some place they can retreat to. And don't expect perfection in the pictures either.

FWIW, my niece was a flower girl for my SIL's wedding when she was just past 3, and she only semi pulled it off. She had done great in rehearsals and knew exactly what she was supposed to do, but when the time came, she balked. They were able to coax her to come partway down the aisle, and then she broke to one side and made a beeline for her grandma. Everyone thought it was cute and fortunately she did not cry, and it was also a casual outdoor wedding, but I think it was pretty stressful for her.

I have another friend who had her 3yo niece in her wedding, and the girl's mom had to carry her down the aisle because she wouldn't walk. Then she squirmed and fussed, and wanted only her mommy and daddy, but mommy was the matron of honor and daddy was one of the groomsmen. So they wound up passing her back and forth during the ceremony, which was pretty distracting.

 

I guess I should add that my neices were in my wedding, they were 3,5, and 8 at the time. Actually, the 3 year old did the best, but she followed her older cousin and sister down the aisle. One thing I did do, was have their mothers' mother there. She sat in the front row, and after the girls walked down the aisle, they sat with her, until it was time to walk back up the aisle.

 

My girls did it at 29 months along with my 27 month old neice. We built it up for a few weeks before hand to get them excited about being flower girls, and we practiced at home a bunch of times (gave them baskets and had them walk from point A to point B pretending to drop flower petals). We also showed them a bunch of flower girl videos we found on youtube so they could understand the concept of the wedding ceremony and walking down the aisle in front of a lot of people. We really had no idea how it would go, but we and the bride and groom were fully prepared for it not to go perfectly and that my SIL (neice's mom) and I might have to walk them down the aisle.

In the end, my niece walked down alone dropping flower petals and I had to hold my girls' hands and walk them down the aisle. My SIL and I sat in the front row with the flower girls feeding them cheerios with some M&M's mixed in. They were very quiet and well behaved during the ceremony, if you don't count the occasionally non-whispered cry for "cho-late!" (just like Forrest Gump says it). I definitely do recommend having some sort of bribe to get them to go down the aisle and to sit during the ceremony (ideally one which doesn't involve colored candy shells to stain their white tops). If you and the bride and groom aren't too worried about perfection or a little chaos, I say go for it. I thought it was pretty great to have the kids involved and I liked giving them a special role. Oh, and we were staying close by so we were able to take them home and hire a baby-sitter for the latter part of the evening so that we could go back and enjoy the wedding like adults instead of parents.