floored by what a "friend" did to us

i have 10 week old twins.

we invited a couple with 3 children to visit us at our vacation home this past weekend. we thought it would be fine and felt ready for visitors for 2 nights. we did not know them well but were getting to know them. they drove 8 hours to get here. when they arrived the 17 month old (youngest) was covered with what appeared to be warts and some of which were irritated from scratching and covered with calamine lotion. the mother said,"oh by the way Sienna has a skin condition like exzema that is not contagious and is no big deal." It appeared like red warts and was very awful! I was shocked and very uncomfortable. at first i wanted to take her word for it. it is most certainly a big deal and covers the girls arms, chest, neck, and chin.

the first night i tried to stay away from the girl and kept the girl away from the babies. the mother did hold the babies a few times which i did not think about at that moment.

the long and short of it is that we asked them to leave the next morning after learning from a nurse friend who happened to come over that night to help with the babies what this condition is called and some details about it. it is molluscom contagiosum. It is a pretty big deal! it is contagious and is a virus. it spreads throuh contact, clothing, etc.. no treatment available and can last years being contagious the whole time as long as there are leasions. apparently this girl hs a severe case because it was everywhere. The incubation period is 2-4 weeks but up to 6 months.

the mother never alerted us to the condition before coming. she gave us the run around when we questioned her about it. she would not give any straight answers and never gave us the name of it. we confimed it with our nurse friend and visuals in the internet.

We have just been so disappointed that someone who called herself a friend, although a new friend, would do this. Furthermore I cannot believe that someone who knows what it is like to have new babies would do this. She is so selfish and self absorbed that I think she just wanted a vacation at any cost.

I want to tell other people that I know, to reach out to mutual friends that we have in common to see if they know anything about this. has she done this to anyone else. she should have told us before coming so we could decide if we wanted the risk. when she did tell me about it after arriving (still not admitting that it was contagious) she claimed that all kids get something at sometime and as a new mom, I just dont get it. She said that we would be exposed at some time.

I am also so obsessed with anger both at the possibility that my babies contracted this and that she exposed us to this. I am also mad that she has inturrupted the blissful state i have been in since the babes were born. my husband and i are besides ourselves.

apparently there is nothing that can be done but wait and see.

what do you think or know about this.

 

I've never heard of it. I'm not a first time mom and I would've been furious over a 'friend' doing this. My SIL has an attitude of 'what will be will be' that kind of drives me nuts over things like this. Every mom is different. If I were you I'd have a conversation with her over it. Don't jump down her throat unless you are planning to end the relationship over it, but you should let her know that this did upset you a lot...and that in the future she needs to let you know if her kids are ill prior to visiting.

 

:hug: Oh my goodness. You so need one of these: :hug: I am so indignant on your behalf. I am just stupified as to how someone could do that you. Especially knowing that you have two VERY young babies. I am so sorry. Let us know how it goes. Hopefully you guys will be lucky enough to get by it unscathed.

 

QUOTE(Susanna+3 @ Sep 2 2008, 02:08 PM) [snapback]958951[/snapback]
I've never heard of it. I'm not a first time mom and I would've been furious over a 'friend' doing this. My SIL has an attitude of 'what will be will be' that kind of drives me nuts over things like this. Every mom is different. If I were you I'd have a conversation with her over it. Don't jump down her throat unless you are planning to end the relationship over it, but you should let her know that this did upset you a lot...and that in the future she needs to let you know if her kids are ill prior to visiting.



THe relationship is definately over because of this. This person is not someone that we want around given how inconsiderate and irresponsible she is. She never once apologized.

 

I would be fuming mad that someone would be so selfish to expose 10 week old twins to Molluscum. I have heard of it. For others that havent here is a link to Mayo Clinic website for details. You deserve a humongous :hug: !!! Hang in there Momma!!


ETA: fix spelling

 

I'd be beside myself too. I would also seek help from my peditrician immediately.

I am so sorry that the other parents were so careless and selfish.

 

I'm so sorry this happened to you :hug: ! I absolutely would have been angry too. I'm a first-time mom and I knew before even having kids that bringing a sick baby around other kids isn't right. It's common sense. I agree with pp that you should let her know what you found out about the illness. Make sure to say that you are very bothered by the fact that she brought a sick child around your small babies for a weekend!! :hug:

 

I understand your anger and fear. She should have talked to you about this before accepting your invitation. It was rude and selfish of her not to bring this up before arriving.

I just now did a little reading about the condition. It's possible she was not very well informed about the condition and that's the reason she dodged your questions. I checked a couple of different sites and the opinions range from this being not a very big deal to it being very contagious (after all, it has the word contagious in it's name!).

The thing that concerns me most is your obsessed anger. Oh I so very much get it! Been there done that. If at all possible, try to find some calm. From what I've read, I understand that it's spread through direct skin contact and sharing of intimate objects (towels, bathing suits, soft toys, etc.) It sounds like you did a pretty good job keeping the little girl from your babies. You asked the family to leave the next morning. You did everything you could to protect your babies. There is nothing else you can do. If your babies were exposed, only time will tell. The one site that specifically talked about this condition in children said the chances of passing it on to others is small, but I understand this is little comfort.

QUOTE
http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/23068963/
The chance of passing on the molluscum contagiosum virus to others is small, and it is not serious anyway. Therefore, there is no need to keep children with molluscum contagiosum off school, swimming pools, gyms, etc, or away from other children.



I'm very sorry you are experiencing this. I'm sorry something came along to impede on the bliss you were experiencing as a new parent. This shouldn't have happened.

 

I have never even heard of that.. and i would have been PISSED!!!! That is rediculous. (sp?) Maybe she doesnt know its contagous? an honest mistake.. but she should have said something.

 

You guys have every right to be mad!!

I just did a quick read on it and couldn't help (I'm you sure you don't know) how the little girl got it? I wonder since no one else has it that the mom didn't really know (I on the other hand look up EVERYTHING when it comes to my children so she probably doesn't use Dr. Google).

Hopefully your babies are okay. How long until you will know?

 

I had to respond to your post. That is absolutely unacceptable. I am so floored by how SELFISH and AWFUL that woman was for not telling you. I mean..I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Did she not KNOW that it was this skin condition? Maybe she just assumed it was something else? I just can't believe that someone would knowingly expose a baby or anyone to this and know that it was contagious. Wow..she should be ashamed of herself. SO sorry that you have to deal with this. I would feel so violated if that happened. You have every right to be really angry. Hugs to you and hang in there.....

 

Yes I would be beyond pissed and would absolutely have nothing to do with them again. If you do have mutual friends, I would tell them about this condition (maybe not go in to detail about your experience unless asked) but if she is willing to put 10 week old babies at risk, I'm sure she has no conscience to do this to older babies and could potentially spread this to many children.

 

Wow. I'm so sorry you need to deal with this. I would call your pedi and get some expert opinion about your kids' exposure and whether you should be not worries, concerned, or super concerned. :hug:

 

I am so sorry. I too would be LIVID. How dare they. They had no right, and I will say a prayer that your little ones don't get it.

They are no friends of yours...

 

OMG!!! I'll say a little prayer for your babies that they remain in good health. :hug:

 

I am so sorry a "friend" did that to you! How horrible!! You have every right to feel the way you do. Common sense should tell anyone that you don't expose 10-week-old babies to ANYTHING! Shame on her for not respecting your family's right to not be around contagious viruses! I would contact your pediatrician to get more info on it and let her know your babies were exposed. Maybe she/he will be able to reassure you....

 

I would be insanely angry. I am really glad that once you found out the details that you asked them to leave. Your "friend" should have known better, but I have learned over the years that some people just don't have the same level of common sense.
I hope everything goes ok : ) Big Hugs

 

I would be so upset as well!! So sorry you had to deal with that :hug:
My girls have had runny noses for a couple weeks & I won't even go see my best friend & her daughter in fear that we will pass along a teeny cold to her 6 month old.

 

:grouphug: I am so sorry that this happened to you! I would have been angry too. Regardless of how infectious her daughter was or wasn't, she still should have never brought her around your babies. My whole family has been sick the past week and we purposely have stayed away from friends with children, as not to pass anything along!!!

 

I babysat a 5 year old who contracted this on a Cruise. At first her parents didn't know what it was, but DID tell me about it. When she found out from the Dr. I decided (because of an internet search) that I did not want to deal with it since I had 4 kids at a time. I know the mom was bummed, but she understood. Well after a few months, and the molluscum didn't spread, it was just on the back of her knees, I let her come back one day week. She always wore tights to cover it up. And I have been really diligent to not let her wear my kids dress up clothes. None of my kids contracted it from her!

I'm really sorry that family did that to you. I always let people know when my kids even have a cold. If her other kids didn't have it maybe you shouldn't worry about your babies getting it.

 

Ugh I can't see needing a vacation so bad that I put other peoples children at a health risk. Just nuts!

Dianna

 

Sounds like your "friends" DC had a BAD case of it. Both of my twins have had it. I have NO clue where it was picked up from. Maybe when they were going to the sitters? Who knows.

First off...if her DC was scratching at it, etc, she should've known better and stayed away from your twins...especially being with how young they still are. I understand your anger towards her...I would be upset too.

On the other hand, Morgan had this last summer on her face. It can last for a long time...months and months. However, there are cream treatments that can be applied that make it look worse than what it actually is. We were putting Rx Aldara cream on Morgan. What it does is zap the "warts" and it actually makes them really red and also scabbed over. They warned us it would look worse before it got better. There is no 100% cure for them, unless the meds work...which for some they do and some they don't. Luckily, for Morgan the meds worked!!! When they got to the scabby part, we just started treating it with Neosporin and that was it, they went away completely and that's been over a year ago. Then, a few months ago, Reagan started to get a few (mind you, this has been OVER a year since Morgan's were GONE) by her armpit...she also has some on her face and behind her one knee. I'm currently treating all of them and they are almost all gone...it's taken months though for Reagan's to respond to the treatment.

That all being said....it might have very well been a fluke that Reagan got the molluscom. She's obviously around Morgan ALL of the time, they touch the same things, tough each other, bathe together, share bath towels, etc...it was literally 15 months AFTER Morgan's were completely gone before Reagan even showed any signs. So, did Reagan "get them" from Morgan??? Probably not. Also, Reagan is always around Olivia...Olivia is 6 months old, she doesn't have any.

I can't just NOT take my kids anywhere or have them around anyone if they have a few molluscom spots. But agin, my kids haen't been covered from head to toe which sounds like what happened to your friends DC.

Honestly, I think one time contact of your twins with her DC I don't think is going to make a big difference.

 

I would be furious! What kind of person would do such a thing. Some people are just real butts! I am soooo sorry someone would do something like that to you and your babies. I will say a prayer for you and your little ones.

 

Well, I get upset when someone comes over with their kids and they have a cold LOL. I just want them to tell me. I have friends that are really bad for this. keep them at home if they are sick. Sharing germs is not something I am a big fan of.

 

Heck i was fuming when my SIL showed up with false nails (they harbour germs which can be harmful to newborns) so I couldn't imagine how you must have felt. We asked everyone "have you been sick in the past 10 days".

that woman was so selfish to not consider the health of two newborns like that.


Heather