Five year old girls very emotional/behavioral issues

Hi twin community, haven't been here in a while, I usually check in again when I am at my wits' end.
My girls started K this year, are in the same class.
I am having real trouble with their emotional issues...one in particular is extremely emotionally sensitive, cries at the drop of a hat at the top of her lungs and
has no problem doing this at school, at home, out in public, whatever. She has a hard time controlling it, she is trying to work at deep breathing and discussing her feelings,
but it's been a real challenge.
My second, despite being very social and happy, can sometimes have a real meltdown and is nearly impossible to settle down until she is good and ready. If something
goes wrong and against her little plan in her little head, she will yell, argue, throw the object/picture/toy in question away, and cry and sulk and be downright embarassing. She
did this today in the park at a little playdate, and everyone there was staring at her.
They were born very preterm, 28 weeks. They have physically done great and have no apparent deficits as a result. They are learning well in school, are learning to read at a wonderful rate,
and do fine in their class as far as I know, though I'm sure they have mini meltdowns here and there. The teachers have never expressed concern.
I am a fairly normal person, caring mother, set boundaries, don't spoil them, make sure they eat on time and get enough rest, etc. etc. I feel like I am totally missing something
and something is not working in our home. Plus, I feel there are behavioural issues that are related to their prematurity, I don't know.
It is enough to drive me bananas, really.
Would love some feedback if anyone else has a similar experience.
Thank you.

 

Is school 1/2 day or full day, and how much time have they gone before this year?  It could simply be they are overtired/stimulated in school.  Many kids will rein in their behavior at school, but then blow up when they get home because it is "safe".  Have you tried a "quiet time" after school, where they can veg out, look at books, tv, or something to just rest their bodies and brains?
 
If it is only really happening at home, I would guess it is something like I mentioned above--oh, and that is totally normal!  If it is happening at school as well, I would talk to the teacher and the school counselor to see what they think.  It may also be too much together time--when mine were younger, they were more likely to melt down when they were together 24/7 than when they had a break from each other.
 
Hope this helps, good luck!

 

I agree with the previous post.  My twins went through a long adjustment period in K because it was the first year they were in school all day.  Sometimes they cried uncontrollably for something really minor (a good long hug was all they needed and then they were fine).  But sometimes it had a more physical manifestation: one of them developed a stutter and the other started to blink incessantly.  Both of those symptoms went away after a few months but at the time, I worried that there was something physically wrong with them and took them to doctors.  Looking back, I think K was a very challenging year for them because of social adjustment, the long hours spent at school, and having real academic demands for the first time.  
 
I don't think it is unusual for 5-6 year olds to have a meltdown and throw a tantrum because they are frustrated or they can't deal with something that happened to them.  They may need a lot of down time to just to unwind from being on their good behavior at school for so many hours every day.  

 

I agree with both posters!  School is exhausting and overwhelming.  This time of year everyone is really just needing summer break :winking: 
 
They are figuring out how to deal with their own emotions.  Tantrums are pretty normal still...and because they are older they are "bigger".  It's not easy as the mom, that's for sure :friends:  Each of my kids has been different, but they definitely went through the "crying" stage, over pretty much anything.