First week alone tips....

So they're three weeks old today and my husband finally goes back to work next week, so I'll finally be on my own with them and to say i'm scared is an understatement at the moment... I knew it was coming and I knew it was going to be hard but that was all head knowledge - emotionally i'm feeling a bit of a wreck especially as they haven't been going down as quickly after a feed over the last few days and have been a bit colicky... I know i'll be fine but that's mainly because I have to be ok. I have people I can call on if it gets too much but I'm a muppet who likes to do things on her own, to prove to herself and the world that she CAN do it on her own.
I guess i just need to hear that it is possible to survive raising twins, that I can do it and any tips that you have for those first few frightening weeks... They're currently feeding every 3 hours, and am i silly for wanting to fit them into a routine anytime soon?
Sorry, needed to vent
Rachel

 

Hi Rachel! I'm in the UK too-there aren't too mnay of us on here! Firstly, congratulations!
Next, you can very much do this! It is scary, I know! I don't think you're going to get much of a routine for awhile-I'm not going to lie to ya, we're 5 mos old and just now settling into one. (And when it seems like they are getting into a routine, they'll change it on you every couple of weeks!)

Tips: It was the seemingly tiny things that other Mom's on here told me that saved my backside! If you can't take one of them crying, and you're bottle feeding, you can tandem feed in their bouncers. Snap vest and bodysuits, along with sleepsuits together into twos, so when you grab one in the dark, or when you're tired you get two at once. (It killed me how much easier that one made my life!) Moby baby wraps are lifesavers, and at this age you can get them both in together-but still buy two so your DH can wear one. Keep a basket by the couch with a pack of diapers and wipes, as well as paci's, the cordless phone, the remote, a few bibs, and burp cloths and some Sudocrem, and make sure it all stays there! It really helps to have everything to hand for right after a feed, and the the other stuff handy if you need the phone, or want to pop the tv on.
Assign a bath day for each baby. I found it too daunting to bathe them both on the same day. Keep everything in the same place all the time as much as is possible so you can just grab when you're tired. Try to limit certain chores to one or two days a week. I only do laundry on Mondays and Fridays, I clean the bathrooms on Wednesday nights once Daddy is home, and my DH loads the dishwasher before bed, then he empties it when he gets up in the morning. Try to get out when the weather is nice for a walk with the pram. It'll help your state of mind. Try to have a split schedule of some kind with your DH even though he is back to work. In those early days I would go to bed at 7 when my older son went to bed to read, and I would sleep from 7p-2a, then Steffen would sleep from 2a-8am. We both got a decent chunk of uninterrupted sleep and it helped so much!

Best of luck-KMP on how it goes!

 

It is not silly wanting a schedule to put some order, some stability to a very very busy day.
For your own sake, be sure to put some Mommie time in there too.

Be sure to feed yourself too! Do you have friends/family that
can drop off homemade meals for you & dh to eat for the week? Your time will be full enough taking
care of your babies than needing to spend time cooking for yourselves.

Have your groceries delivered, if you can, for the next month.

Imagine if you were doing the daycare thing...those employees get coffee/tea breaks & lunch breaks.
Don't forget to "hire" yourself too.

Try to make your environment enjoyable for you. If Mommie is happy, then babies may be happy too.
If Mommie is stressed, babies get confused & upset too. Put on your fav music. Wear clothes that are comfy but
make you feel good. Keep your fav hand lotion by the sink & use it Every time you wash your hands.
Keep bottled water near you. When the babies scream, and they will, start whistling or singing.

This too shall pass... take lots of pictures!

 

You CAN do it! I also like to do things on my own and my DH went back to work when the babies were 12 days old (and I had a c-section). I was a nervous wreck but we made a station of sorts right by the couch so I didn't need to move around too much to get to everything. I just did whatever I had to do in order to keep everyone happy and get as much rest as possible. DH helped a LOT when he got home from work - cleaning and cooking. I just focused on the babies for a long time. Hopefully you're able to do that. We didn't really hit a routine until around 3 months. We kind of had an order of doing things. To be honest we're STILL working out a schedule (they're just over 6 months) but I'm pretty laid back and go with the flow. I'd love to say I am completely organized and have a nice little schedule that I can write down but I just don't. I try but I get frustrated and I'm learning to just take a breathe, go with the flow, and remind myself to enjoy these moments because they go so fast and remind myself I can get through the rough moments because they do go fast (whether I believe it at that moment or not ). Honestly just do whatever you need to do to get through the first few weeks and before you know it you'll have your own routine and have a lot of confidence in yourself. I've definitely had my issues but I have complete confidence that I can make it through the day and night on my own with the kids and take them shopping on my own with no problems. You'll get there. Definitely make some Mommie time! My DH is still kind of nervous about watching them on his own (and when they were little he was nervous when I took a shower!) so I am still working on that one. When they were little and sometimes still now I put them in a bouncy chair near the bathroom or in if you have the room so I can take a shower and be able to peek on them to make sure they are ok - even if they cry for a few minutes I NEED a shower here and there - that is MY time. I'm really working on finding other ME times. SO while they're little try and schedule that one in for sure so you always get it. Good luck to you!

 

I gave myself permission to get out of the house--especially when the girls were fussy and I couldn't seem to calm them down. I figured if they were going to be crying, I might as well go get something fun for me at a drive-thru--a soda, milkshake, iced tea, just something so I could get out in the world. For the first few days/weeks after DH went back to work, I would break the days up into small bits because thinking about being alone for an entire day was too overwhelming. I would think, well, I can do this feeding and then it's nap--that's already 2 or 3 hours. Before you know it, the days will be flying by! Good luck!

 

QUOTE(kat5682 @ Jun 6 2009, 08:24 PM) [snapback]1343883[/snapback]
So they're three weeks old today and my husband finally goes back to work next week, so I'll finally be on my own with them and to say i'm scared is an understatement at the moment... I knew it was coming and I knew it was going to be hard but that was all head knowledge - emotionally i'm feeling a bit of a wreck especially as they haven't been going down as quickly after a feed over the last few days and have been a bit colicky... I know i'll be fine but that's mainly because I have to be ok. I have people I can call on if it gets too much but I'm a muppet who likes to do things on her own, to prove to herself and the world that she CAN do it on her own.
I guess i just need to hear that it is possible to survive raising twins, that I can do it and any tips that you have for those first few frightening weeks... They're currently feeding every 3 hours, and am i silly for wanting to fit them into a routine anytime soon?
Sorry, needed to vent
Rachel



PP have already given you some great tips that got me through the early days. The only other thing that was big for me was to try and SLEEP when the babies do. My girls napped brilliantly for a good 2/3 months and whenever i could i slept when they did, how i wish i had that luxury now lol
It sounds like your already on some sort of routine? Feeding every 3 hrs is great, i like order and routine too but just remember that when a baby doesn't follow suit it is NOT the end of the world, you are probably more thrown off than the babbas. What will be will be and i am sure you will do yourself proud. Lots of luck and congrats, let us all know how you get on if you get a minute.

 

QUOTE(kat5682 @ Jun 6 2009, 02:24 PM) [snapback]1343883[/snapback]
I guess i just need to hear that it is possible to survive raising twins, that I can do it and any tips that you have for those first few frightening weeks...


I just needed to say that you CAN do this!! My husband stayed home, by himself, with the twins when they were 7 weeks because I had to go back to work full-time. He was unemployed due to plant shutdown so he found himself feeding, changing, playing with the babies and doing the majority of the cleaning since he was the one home. He did find it challenging at times but he decided to have the motto of "roll with the punches" and "do what you can, when you can".

Take one moment at a time and then you will find that you can handle one day at a time just fine. You will survive this and you will never forget your time with them!

Good luck!

 

Everybody has given you great advice. Just take a deep breath and realize you CAN do it! My first few days alone with the girls are hectic and some days now still are. The first few weeks we were not on schedule it was on demand and flying by the seat of our pants. At 3 1/2 months we have more of a schedule down and it will come to you too. Just know it is okay if stuff around the house isn't done, it will get done. My DH would take over for a bit when he got home from work to give me a break. It was nice for both of us, I got a bit of a break after being alone with them all day and he got to spend some quality time with them after being at work all day. You will find what works for you, don't worry you will do a great job!

 

Oh, that first week alone is so scary, but soon enough you will be so proud because you did it. The 2nd week alone won't be as bad and then before you know it, you'll be a pro. If you don't have Miracle Blankets, get some. These were so amazing for us. I wish we had gotten them sooner. They slept so much better. I always fed mine together in bouncy seats or I'd recommend Boppys. We'd prop the bottle. That saved us a lot of time. I had a pack n' play downstairs for naps and a changer too, so I didn't have to run up and down the stairs all day. If you could get someone to come over for an hour a day, so you can lay down, that is huge. I had my mom, so I'd go lay down. Very rarely did I sleep, but it was great to get a mental break. Let them sleep wherever they will. We used the swing and bouncy seats all the time. There were nights they'd sleep in them. Don't worry about creating bad habits. It's too early to do that. Ask for help, because a lot of people have no idea how hard having 2 babies at once is. They might not offer if they don't know you need it. Good luck and come back here often. I couldn't have gotten this far without all these amazing women.

 

I could have wrote this post myself when my girls were just 3 weeks. DH had exactly 3 weeks off from work to help out and once that was over I was a nervous wreck. Just like you I like to do things on my own. I'm not necessarily a control freak by any means but I like order and want things done a certain way that usually benefits everyone. For a few weeks my MIL came over when I really needed her. I am not too fond of the woman but she is the only relative that lives near by so she was my only saving grace. She would come over maybe twice a week and sometimes spend the night when I was starting to lose energy. After about 4 weeks or so of her helping here and there I finally got the hang of things and she hasn't been over to help since. I think, if you have someone that is will to help you definitely take advantage. Even if they can do the dishes, cook, or let you nap for a little bit...the help really goes a long way. You will get the hang of things and before you know it you will feel like a super mom. It's really an amazing feeling when you get the hang of things. GL and I HTH~