First sleep over at in laws

My boys are 19 months old and have yet to sleep anywhere other then home. We are going over my in laws on Friday for dinner and to watch a show together. My boys go to bed between 830pm and 9pm.. The show airs at 10pm. So I figured that I would lay them down in the pack n plays that the in laws have, and then when it was time to go home, just transfer them to the car and then their own crib at HOME. But my husband and in laws are insisting on letting them just spend the night. I don't know if it's me not being ready, so I am coming up with a million reason why they shouldn't, or if they are the ones not ready yet..

I am a stay at home mother, and have only had a few nights away from the boys. (I traveled for a tv show and they stayed home with my husband) They haven't slept in a pack in play since they were little babies. They are very use to my 'routine' with them. Also, at the in laws, they would be sleeping in the same room as them. It's a 3 room house, but my sister in law and her fiance live there, so one room is there's the other their 'living room' and the others the in laws. And my mother in law is very over bearing I guess you could say.. If the boys cough at dinner, she jumps up and thinks they are choking. So I know if the boys move an inch through the night, or as soon as they make a peep, she will get them up. And then they will come home cranky to me.

I just don't think I would be being fair to my kids by allowing them to sleep in a pack n play all night for the first time, at someone elses house for the first time, in a room with two other people. I just feel like I am throwing too many new things there way at once. It's not like me and my husband are going to a nice dinner to come home to an evening alone.. It's like we would be leaving them there for the conviennce of others..

Please help me make a decesion and feel comfortable with which ever decesion it is!!!!!!! Thanks a bunch!

 

I would let them stay the night there. There is nothing wrong with letting them spend the night at their grandparents' house, while you enjoy your night out.

I miss having the ability to let my two spend the night at their grandparents' or at my sister's. Now I'm looking at getting an overnight sitter and hotel room nearby so I can go out to my husband's work party and that is going to be expensive.

 

I agree with Bex, I would let them stay the night with their grandparents. Your boys might surprise you and do really well in their pack and plays and staying overnight in a new place.
Good luck with your decision!

 

Oh definitely let them spend the night! It will be a great experience for them--my kids love spending the night at their grandparents'.

 

I guess it's not so much the fact that they wouldn't be sleeping at home.. Maybe I am holding a little bit of a grudge because of my mother in laws personality.. I know with her all my rules and routines with the boys go out the window when I am not around. And it's almost like she is trying to win them over.. She always makes everything about her, no matter what the situation. I know my kids love their grandparents, and they would have a great time. I guess this ends up being more about my concerns with my mother in law.

 

I get where you are coming from. It's hard for me to let go when my MIL visits or we go visit her.
But her favorite saying is "Grandma's house, grandma's rules." Which really means not many rules!

But it's good for kids to learn how other people are. You don't want them so regimented that they don't adapt well to change.

I think it would do everyone good.

 

Are you going to be staying there as well, or are you going home after the show and leaving the boys there? I guess I'd feel differently depending on the situation. My boys have never spent the night away from home when I've not been there. I really wasn't comfortable doing this until lately; now my sister wants to keep them overnight, and I'll probably let her.

If you're worried about them sleeping well in a PnP, then I can reassure you; my guys are over 2 and still sleep in PnPs when we're away from home and they sleep like ROCKS in them. Something about a new environment seems to wear them out and they almost always sleep great.

As far as overbearing MILs, I can totally relate!! Any time Nate makes a grimace, it's a seizure! Any time they eat bologna, it's a catastrophe because they eat too much processed meat! :gah: I'm learning that I have to pick my battles; sometimes I walk away and let her "overparent" them and deal with the consequences, and other times I stand my ground. It's very hard to find a balance.

Good luck whatever your decision is; I hope you enjoy the show!!

 

My mom is really overbearing when it comes to the kids and the one time I left them at their house was an utter disaster. My dad let them stay up half the night, my mom wouldn't leave them alone so they'd go to sleep because she was too worried about them. They were way overtired and miserable when they came home. If they were down to sleep by the time I left it would be a totally different story though! As for the neurotic overparenting, it's much easier to deal with when you're not there to listen to it, and at least you know that they'll be well taken care of, KWIM?

 

[quote name='Nate and Jack's Mom' date='25 October 2010 - 04:30 PM' timestamp='1288038622' post='1713358']
Are you going to be staying there as well, or are you going home after the show and leaving the boys there? I guess I'd feel differently depending on the situation. My boys have never spent the night away from home when I've not been there. I really wasn't comfortable doing this until lately; now my sister wants to keep them overnight, and I'll probably let her.

If you're worried about them sleeping well in a PnP, then I can reassure you; my guys are over 2 and still sleep in PnPs when we're away from home and they sleep like ROCKS in them. Something about a new environment seems to wear them out and they almost always sleep great.

As far as overbearing MILs, I can totally relate!! Any time Nate makes a grimace, it's a seizure! Any time they eat bologna, it's a catastrophe because they eat too much processed meat! :gah: I'm learning that I have to pick my battles; sometimes I walk away and let her "overparent" them and deal with the consequences, and other times I stand my ground. It's very hard to find a balance.

Good luck whatever your decision is; I hope you enjoy the show!!
[/quote]

I won't be staying there. I will be leaving and staying at my house, then going back to pick them up in the morning. They will already be asleep when I leave, but still I just am uneasy about the whole situation for some reason.. Maybe I myself am an overbearing parent.. IDK..

(Tune into the show to watch me!! I will be on a show called Four Weddings on TLC!!!! It is airing this Friday at 10pm EST.. This is the show we are going to the in laws to watch)

 

I know where you are coming from and to be honest... my youngest is 2.5 years old and he has NEVER spent the night away from me. But not because of me... it's only been recently that he's been willing to fall asleep at grandma's house. The twins would occasionally spent the night over at grandma/grandpa's house but not too many. I bet I can count on two hands how many times they have spent the night over at their house in the last 5 years and still have some fingers left! I have a hard time letting go...
You are right, rules will be different. Things will happen that are not on your schedule. It'll be ok. I'd say let them spend the night. Go home and get a good night sleep yourself. I don't know about your kids, but mine were not sleeping through at that age!

 

I understand the MIL issue. But sometimes you need to take a break. They will only be away from you for 12 hours or so? That is perfectly ok especially when they will be asleep for most of that. I would also put money on the fact that they will sleep just fine. My two sleep through the night at the grandparetns, but won't do it at home. If you are that worried about rules and schedules leave a detailed list of everything. That is what I used to do to both sets of grandparents. I am sure they thought I was crazy and overbearing, but at least I felt like they knew what I expected of them. Also, if it is written down and not followed you have a great excuse/reason that you don't want them to stay again ( i have done that one as well). Let them stay. It is only one night and at this stage in the game one night/morning of some different rules is not going to be anything you can't handle.

 

Sweet, I'll set up my DVR tonight! :good:

 

I would definitely do it. As mothers, it's hard to let go because we thrive on routines and our control over our children, but they do surprisingly well with change. Kids learn to be adaptable to different sets of rules (or lack of them). We left ours at my parents house for the first time at 6 months because it was our anniversary. I freaked out at first, but spending a night where we actually SLEPT recharged us as parents and everyone went home happy the next day.

When it comes down to it, as long as they are safe and fed, the other details are just that, details. Take a deep breath, enjoy the night, and let the inlaws be grandparents.

 

I think you should let them go. Mine have stayed with my parents once but never IL's. MIL can't handle both at once so it hasn't worked out. They need a change to routine once in a while. I worry that my kids are too scheduled at that one little change will screw them up. Just prepare yourself for cranky kids the next day. Don't make plans to go out or do anything new and they should be ok. And I love that 4 Weddings show. I don't have a DVR so I hope I remeber to watch it.