First Pregnancy, First set of twins

Sorry, I have never been on a forum in my life, but I heard that this could be good for me and the fact that I am freaking out badly.
My husband and I had been trying for a baby for 3yrs and then found out that we were pregnant in february. Happiness was soon followed by abject fear when in week 9 we found out I was carrying twins. We didn't take fertility drugs or anything and twins do not run in either family. We had prepared our lives for a single child and are now freaking out. And to top it off I am either completely overwhelmed by guilt or insane with love for them. I am just entering my 24th week and am having a boy and a girl. Everything is going perfect, which should make me so happy, but I spend my days freaking out about everything from each kick to how am I going to pay for the C-Section. Since my family has never dealt with this and everyone I ask either laughs and says "You are screwed, or "Better you than me," I was hoping to get a bit of reasonable advice and support from some people who actually know what they are talking about.

Thanks,
Ash[/font]

 

:welcome: Congrats. Twins are overwhelming and scary. They are also a blessing. You will get through this and somehow everything will fall into place. I won't lie and tell you it's easy, but I would not trade it for anything. Do you have health insurance?? If not, do you qualify for some. It can be pricey if you are not covered.

 

:wavey: Ash, and welcome to Twinstuff!! Congratulations on your twins! :Clap:

Yes, it is better you then them. <_< I've always disliked that saying because twins are really a joy and blessing, IMO. Yes it can be very overwhelming especially as an expecting first time mom, I know I was, but soon you'll meet them and fall in love and the reality is that you know no other way then being a mom of twins. :hug: Try and take it one day at a time and try not to think of how it will be or the what if's, that will only make you more anxious. I did that and it didn't help matters at all because I've learned that you don't know how it will be and you are only stressing yourself out at the moment. I'm glad you found Twinstuff, there are many great, supportive moms on here who all know what you are going through. :hug:

We look forward to getting to know you!!

 

QUOTE(ambrs @ Jun 21 2009, 08:42 PM) [snapback]1363150[/snapback]
...I spend my days freaking out about everything from each kick to how am I going to pay for the C-Section. Since my family has never dealt with this and everyone I ask either laughs and says "You are screwed, or "Better you than me,"
Thanks,
Ash[/font]


A suggestion -- get as much free or cheap used stuff as you can, then if people ask what the babies need (shower gifts, etc.), bluntly say "We really need cash to help pay for the hospital bills". How is it any different than wedding gifts which are used for a house down payment?

You'll all be fine!

 

Hi Ash! Welcome to Twinstuff! :welcome: When I heard comments like that I just replied "yes, better me than you". Congrats on your b/g twins! :clapping:

 

Welcome to TS! Like the others when I would hear comments like that I would say the same things. Congratulations on your twins!

 

congrats on your twins! and welcome. my girls are my first as well & it's definitely a very steep learning curve - not only are you learning how to be a mom but you're also learning how to care for multiples! it's very overwhelming in the first weeks & months but you will survive. :hug: you'll learn as you go & you'll make lots of mistakes & learn so many great tips & tricks & get better & better at the whole thing & then, before you know it, your babies' will almost be a year old & you'll be a big sappy, crying wuss like me.

this forum is awesome! i didn't find it until my girls were almost 2 months old & i really wish i'd come across it sooner. there are so many great ladies on here who will understand everything you're going through & be able to advise you & celebrate with you & encourage you. take a deep breath - you're going to be fine. :hug:

ETA: have you checked out the big sister/little sister program? it's a great way to connect one on one with another lady with older twins who can really be there for you & help you out. it's a great program & i'd really encourage you to sign up.

 

:wavey: Ash & welcome to twinstuff!

I was a total mess for MONTHS after I found out I was having twins. I *thought* I wanted ONE baby and was scared/unsure/upset about the thought of having 2.

My girls are the most amazing thing in the world & I cannot imagine our life with only one baby :wub: :wub:

It is hard at times, but the wonderful times make up for the hard times ~

Hang in there & take things one day at a time :hug:

Glad you found us!!!

 

QUOTE(TwinLove @ Jun 21 2009, 07:59 PM) [snapback]1363167[/snapback]
Yes, it is better you then them. <_<


Right on, Liz!! Twins are wonderful!! Congratulations!!! It's an absolute joy to have two at the same time. Instant playmates!!

 

You sound totally like me a little over two years ago. No family history of twins, nothing to indicate that it wouldn't be a single baby.

I wasn't sure that I wanted one baby, let alone the two that showed up at the 9 week ultrasound. I did a lot of freaking out. A *lot* of freaking out. But the good thing is, you adapt. I'm not going to say it's all sunshine and unicorns because it's not. It's hard work, but people have been raising children (yes, even multiples!) since the dawn of time. And they didn't even have superyards and pack and plays. . .

Contact your local health department and explain to them the health insurance situation (assuming you're in the US). Also see if there is a local mothers of multiples club.

 

:hug: Welcome to the forums!
Remember dear they can't take blood from a turnip! If you don't have health insurance or able to get on state insurance due to your income talk with the hospital.Let them know right away and there might be a way to work out payment in some form.

If you have a local health department in your county definately get a hold of them for information as well. The key is to make sure that authorities understand you are carrying two and have a written Drs statement.
Some states count the unborn babys in the family. I know I couldn't afford to have ours if Missouri didn't!
Also ask about parenting clubs such as breastfeeding and first time parents. Heck our breastfeeding meetings are almost about anything involving parenting to be honest. I got alot of used items and great advice from the parents there.
Check for WIC eligibility also. That can help relieve the pinch in your budget also.

Also, hit yard sales. Don't be afraid to ask if they know of other parents selling kids stuff as well. Craigslist for your area is a big help too.

You'll do great and someday you'll be able to help out other family members with all your experience!

It's our first real viable pregnancy after 10yrs. I never tried IVF or a fertility specialist, just a 9 month try with a fertility drug. That was years ago so we gave up and figured God had other plans.
I always say it was the finally giving up that did it!

Talk about a lifestyle change from being a couple that got out and about! New truck, major home remodel, new jobs, cruisin to the big city for games, concerts, and fun. Now it's hurry and redo the remodel, down to one job, pricing diapers, and crusin to the big city for Dr appts! :lol:

 

Hi and welcome to TS!!! You are definitely in good company in here! We are finding that the shock still resurfaces every once in a while heehee. It WILL be ok! At least that's what the other moms on here tell us LOL! Just kidding. Babies are awesome and amazing so how could 2 be bad?! Just more to love!

I too hate the "better you than me", even my doctors nurse said that! UGH! We are blessed because it was meant to be that way. Definitely check out what programs are out there to help with the costs of the birth. Good luck and enjoy the forums, I don't know what I would do if I hadn't found this place! :wub:

 

Welcome! What you're feeling is TOTALLY normal!! Having twins and all that goes with them (fianancial worries, etc) is scary. We tried for 4+ yrs to get pg, and then when we actually were, I was terrified.

But I can tell you that they are wonderful. My boy and girl are now seven months old and the total light of my life.

You'll be okay. Oh, and ignore the stupid comments from people! They have no clue!

*hugs*

 

I feel the same way! I'm 12 weeks with twins through IVF, and although we had IVF, I just never assumed it would work at all because we had tried for so long. But it did work -- too well. I already have a DD who will be 7 this summer, so I have experience with a singleton, but I'm having a hard time getting over my image of another "single" baby and worrying about how I will handle/juggle/even love two more. But I know I will. I know it will hard and it will suck too. But I kind of know that once we are over a hump and they are sleeping through the night things will likely get better and... dare I say it... be fun? I love my DD more than anything and it's hard to imagine now having to have two more to care for at one time. But it's one day at a time. Right now I'm focused on surviving this pregnancy without complications.

I would definitely look into payment plans for the hospital so you can have a plan and relax about the money issue.

Good luck!

 

HI Ash,
I appreciate your post - its very good to share your concerns with people who understand what you are going through - and believe me I understand the panic.
I went through IVF and didn't really believe I would get pg and then twins.....
I had been seeing an acupuncturist for the last IVF cycle, who is very supportive and is also pg at about 26 weeks so I have kept on going every 2 weeks. In addition to helping my syptoms its good to talk through the cause of the panic and I also have an excuse to lie down quietly without feeling guilty about all the things I should be doing - I often fall asleep.
Have you tried meditation tapes or prenatal yoga?
Don't worry about people's stupid comments - I have the same thing but I just think its because they don't know what to say - it's a very personal situation.
I also have moments of panic but am trying to take one day at a time and cope with what comes up. I have a tendency to work my self into a frenzy thinking of all the bad things that can happen so now I try to write down or list in my head all the good things and all I am greatfull for - sounds a bit hippy but it really works!
good luck
love Jo