First post in First Year and I already have problems.

Hankins' Birth Story

Hello ladies!!
I am finally here in the first year. Above is my birth story, everything went perfectly, and the babies are doing great. Almost everyone is adjusting well. My 20 month old DD is having a really hard time as my hands are almost always busy with one thing or another. I gave her so much attention prior to the twins being born because I knew what was to come. Unfortunately I think it spoiled her. I just find myself close to tears everytime I look at her, thinking she got jipped out of so much time with me. I'm crying right now. Is this the baby blues? While I was in the hospital, she and my oldest DD stayed overnight with my parents which was the first time she had EVER been away from me overnight. I knew it would be only a few days but I could tell she was homesick when she'd come to visit. Homesick is the WORST feeling and I never want my kids to feel that. I think she is still feeling that way, she just kinda whines around the house most of the time. She loves the babies and wants to hold them and feed them, she's really good with them. What can I do to make things seem normal for her?

 

:welcome: to the First Year Tasha. I am sure your crying is due to all the hormones. It is VERY, VERY normal, but if you think you need to talk to someone, I would give your OB a call. I had a 26 MO DD when my boys were born. So I had a few months on you, but nonetheless it presented a bunch of challenges. I would read to her while I was feeding the boys or once the boys went down for a nap, I would spend the time playing with her. It doesnt leave much down time for you and it is exhausting since you cant sleep during the day to catch up from not sleeping at night. I also would take her out on the weekends by myself and leave the boys with DH for a couple of hours even if it was just to McD's for lunch. The good thing is that she will never remember how hard it was to have newborn twin brothers and now that they are 2, life if much less chaotic at times. So, hang in there. I cried everyday for a long time.

Congrats on your babies!!

 

Congrats on your babies! I don't have any experience with an older child plus twins but I do know that the crying you are experiencing is normal. If you feel like these feelings are going on too long, please talk to your OB about it. I know it has to be hard to juggle two newborns and to attend to a child who you also want to feel important during such a time of transition. Right not it is an adjustment for everyone. Hang in there and you are doing great! :hug:

 

It could be the baby blues :hug:. I had that the first 1.5 weeks after they were born. It's supposed to be common the first couple of weeks after birth. You can always call your OB. They can treat this.

 

We had the same thing! Dang hormones! Mine lasted about 3-4 weeks, and I honestly felt like "what did I do to DD to screw up her life by having another baby?" Then I started to talk to her and tell her "the boys are SO lucky to have such a wonderful big sister. The boys love you so much! You're such a GREAT big sister!" I just really played it up for her, and still do now that the boys are 7 mo. She needs to hear it. And if you have a chance, take her out with just the two of you. Even if it's to the grocery store. Last night, we sat on my bed for 3 minutes and played "give me 5. On the side, up high..." and giggled together.

Good luck!

 

Welcome to FY and congrats on your babies! What you are experiencing is totally normal and is probably due to the drop in hormone levels. Talk to your OB at your f/u or earlier and if you feel like you are sad and its interfering with your life, s/he can talk about treatments for PPD. :hug:

 

I had the EXACT same feelings you are having after I brought my babies home...I crawled in my dd's bed one night and just held her and cried while she slept-I felt so bad for her! I felt like I was always yelling at her and all she wanted was attention! I felt like the worse mommy in the world for doing this to her-I thought I ruined our perfect little family and the good thing we had by having more kids. I dont know if it was baby blues or lack of sleep or stress but it passed and we all figured out a nice schedule and got through it. Things are great now-so there is hope! I feel bad for you because I know exactly how you are feeling right now!
I agree with pp-I just made time for her-and only her and we totally exagerated her special time so she knew we loved her, we let her "help" with the babies and now she thinks she is the mom and tells me what to do!
It will be okay and all of this will be a thing of the past very soon.
Hang in there!

 

I'm can sympthathise with half that. My DD's aren't even home yet (still in NICU) but I feel the same way with my DD1. I'm soo drained from pumping, running to and from the hospital, she has a cold too...and she is only 13 months. It def. is hard on me..and i am crying at least once daily. I would call your dr. if things don't improve with your hormones and feelings.

 

Thank you ladies. You don't understand how helpful it is to hear that some of you went through the same and things will get better. I'm calling my OB tomorrow to request a script for Reglan to increase milk supply, but i am also going to mention the weepy, guilty feelings I am having.