First day with the twins by myself

My DH went back to work today and.......WOW! This is CRAZY! I feel like all I do is feed, burp and change diapers! Tandem BF'ing is virtually impossible by myself and I thought I could tandem bottle feed by putting them either propped up on pillows or in their carseats. It was VERY difficult and took forever. When I was burping one, the other would fall asleep and lose intrest in eating so they both ate very little and woke up for their next feedings not too long after I put them down for a nap. How do you all manage feeding them at the same time and getting it done without the whole process taking forever. I work at home and will be starting back up in March but at this rate I will never get anything done.....ever!

Another question for those of you whose DH's work, how do you do the night feedings? When DH was off work, we would both get up and change/feed one baby while other one fed the other baby. Now that DH is back to work, I feel bad having him get up every 2-3hrs since he needs to function at work. How didi you all do this so DH could get some sleep?

Please tell me this gets easier! I do feel lucky that they are not fussy babies but still.....it's overwhelming!

 

Hang in there, it does get easier. We the girls were small (like yours), I very rarely feed them at the same time. I feed them one at a time until they were almost 2 months old. As far as night feedings, DH is a morning person, where I am not. I would take the late night feeding by myself while he slept, we did the middle of the night feeding together and then he took the early morning feeding alone. It worked for us most of the time. Your doing a great job!

 

Okay from SAHM who basically has been on her own since day one!
It does get easier.. DH helped with the nites until they were about 1 month.. He still gets up sometimes.. (I dont wake up sometimes.. I think that the crying is a dream... )
You will get into a routine and it will get easier and you might even have a minute for yourself.. The first 6 weeks is the hardest (was for me) and after 8 weeks it gets a little easier and then at 3 month it seems EASY (to me at least)..

It does get better i promise.. :hug99:

 

I know what you mean by feeling bad for dh. I did too! Though not more bad then I did for myself! I would have him continue to help at night right away! Although he has to go to work, you need just as much rest to take care of 2 babies by yourself! We tried a variety of things. For a while, when one baby woke, we would wake the other and both get up. We also tried, when one baby woke, one of us would get up and then when the next baby woke, the other got up.

 

Hi, Yes it gets easier!!!! I am just now able to tandem BF more often. No chance when they were that little. Also, they became very very fussy around 4-6 weeks and they still are in the evening and night time (almost 12 weeks). When DH went back to work I took over nights but now that they are so fussy and loud, he can't help but wake up sometimes and he is always willing to help. I BF so he can't help with that but he'll diaper or put one back down or walk a crying baby or whatever. There is just no way I can do it on my own...even though I'd like to because he works all day. I don't know about bottle feeding because mine won't take them. Just a tip, if they are good at taking bottles now keep giving them one a day. We stopped because I wanted them to breast feed as much as possible, now we can't get them to take the bottle and I can't get a real break.

Hang in there, it does get better...you have smiles to look forward too in your near future too!

 

My dh is still getting up with me. You should see us! We now sleep in the family room...he on the couch and me on the love seat. The babies are sleeping in the bouncey seats because that's where they like to be. We have tried everything we can imagine except taking shifts which we were just about to try before DH decided to sleep downstairs with me. It's hard but you gotta find what will work for you both the best. First we had me just sleeping downstairs for 6 weeks. Sometimes I would feed them on my own...I tried. It was easier when they were newborn. Then I started waking him him and he'd come downstairs. Then when I couldn't take it anymore so I moved back upstairs to the bed but then DH NEVER got any sleep because one was always crying. One in the bassinet at the foot of the bed and the other in the boppy in betwen us. So I convinced him to sleep downstairs while they slept in the bouncey since they like that best and it works for us. He only has to get up if I can't handle both of them crying at the same time. And if he has to get up he is right there. Now that they are 9 weeks it has gotten easier. I'd have to say the 3-8 week age is so far the hardest.

Don't feel bad for him, you have a job too. I used to feel bad until I realized it is not worth my sanity to try to handle this on my own. You made these babies together, they are both yours so he should be helping. Plus I have a toddler to tend to during the day so he does not mind helping at all. He looks at work as a break...lol (wish I had one). Good luck...again, it will get easier and you'll appreciate his help.

 

We divide up the night. We're feeding every 4 hours now, so I go to sleep early, get up to do the 1am. Dh gets up and does the 5 am then goes to work. We both felt strongly that we both have jobs, even though his is at the office and mine is at home with the babies. His sometimes seems like a vacation to me! Adult conversation, lunch out and time to read/nap on the bus. The luxury!!! :lol:

Find the balance that works for you. And if you learn how to feed them both at once, please let me know! Good luck!

 

It will get easier! Practice makes perfect as far as feedings and burpings and diaper changes go. I was mean and made my DH help me at least once a night. He's a good DH and helped without whining.

 

I am still very new at this too! My boys will be 6 weeks on Thursday. What dh and I have been doing-and what seems to be working...is we work in shifts. I go to bed from 8 pm-2am...DH takes care of the boys on his own...Then I wake up, pump, and have the boys from 2am-5pm(when dh gets home from work!). Last night-their last feed was at 2 and 2:30-so essentially I didn't have to wake up until almost 5:30am. However-the pumping had to be done...

Try just about everything! Sometimes I like the both of us getting up together(it takes me over 2 hours to feed, burp, change, back to bed, whereas dh can do it in an hour...grrr...). But the way we do it-at least we both get a solid 6 hours of sleep...

 

I never fed them at the same time. Ditto the Tandem BFing alone is impossible, but even bottle feeding I didn't do at the same time. I had a system down where I'd feed, burp, change and put back to sleep one baby then do the other immediately after. Go pump, eat and surf the net while I pumped, then tried to get some sleep before the next cycle started over again....

 

I always fed at the same time to save time! I also did all of the nightime feedings myself. I got the bottles ready, propped them with their heads together, fed them, sort of leaned back a little, put one up on my chest, and then held the other in a sitting position to burp. You will get better at it very quickly!!

 

yes it gets better once you get use to being alone with them and get a good routine going. my girls are now sleeping all night long (doing that since 2 months), they go to bed at 9:30 an wake up around 7 or 8 sometimes 9 am. they get up, i change them and feed them, we play in mommy and daddy's bed for about an hour, they lay back down about 11:30 and sleep until about 1 or 1:30, they get up and eat again and they play in their walkers, lay on the floor for tummy time. usually around 3:30 or 4 they are hungry again so i feed them, and they nap again for about an hour to 2 hours, they get a bath every other night and are usually asleep by 10pm. they are 5 months now but it does get easier. the routine didn't really happen until around month 3 though. i know i felt like a zombie for about 2 months. i think i slept-walked for about a month by the time they really started sleeping all night. mine are also bottle fed and now eating baby food and cereal bottles. i feed them as much as they will eat all day. i have noticed that they sleep better at night if they are fuller.

i hope things get better for you!
lots of love!
Meshell

 

QUOTE(seamusnicholas @ Nov 26 2007, 04:54 PM) [snapback]509532[/snapback]
I know what you mean by feeling bad for dh. I did too! Though not more bad then I did for myself! I would have him continue to help at night right away! Although he has to go to work, you need just as much rest to take care of 2 babies by yourself! We tried a variety of things. For a while, when one baby woke, we would wake the other and both get up. We also tried, when one baby woke, one of us would get up and then when the next baby woke, the other got up.


Amen to that sister!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's GREAT advice!! I wish my Dh would help me!

QUOTE(becky5 @ Nov 26 2007, 07:10 PM) [snapback]509672[/snapback]
I always fed at the same time to save time! I also did all of the nightime feedings myself. I got the bottles ready, propped them with their heads together, fed them, sort of leaned back a little, put one up on my chest, and then held the other in a sitting position to burp. You will get better at it very quickly!!

me too! that's how I did it - my DH has never gotten up with me or by himself to care for the babies and I was solo at 3 days.

 

I say you are doing GREAT if you are putting down for naps and tandem BFing at under one month!!! WAY TO GO!!!! :banana: It does get a lot better. My DH went back at one month but has a job that is very flexible. That flexiblity also means crazy hours (16-20 hours days sometimes). I was totally freaked but as long as I know I won't have time to do anything it works.

I had posted shortly before he went back about night feedings. The replies I got helped me a great deal. They all said that you have a full time job that is as hard or harder than his. Do not feel bad. My DH will get up and change/hold/bring babies to me while I feed the other one. He generally is back asleep before I finish #2 (tandem isn't working quite yet for us) who I put back down. Our still don't always go back to sleep easily so we will switch on/off depending on who is more tired. We figured out recently that putting them to bed earlier makes them sleep better. The added bonus is if they don't want to go to sleep we are less sleepy and can deal with it better.

After 2 weeks of him back to work I asked him if he could stay home and me go to work. He must get how mard it is by yourself becuase his reply was "no - I know what it is like at home!". If your DH gives you a hard time just tell him that you need one day&night break (totally deserved) where all you have to do is the BFing - he does everything else. I was at a breaking point after 2 weeks on my own with my DH only home from 2-6AM to sleep before going back to work (he was working the rest of the time). He took a day and did this for me. By half way through the night I knew he was hurting....I felt a little bad as I closed the door to go back to bed and they were both crying but as soon as my head hit the pillow I was in heaven. The next morning he told me that I was the best wife/mother ever and that my reward in heaven would be great. He always knew it was hard but he really got it then.

Long story to tell you that you have it harder than he does so don't feel bad asking for things that make you happy.

BTW - our twins are just over 2 months and sometimes during the day when I am alone I am able to have an hour or more to myself! You are not that far away esp. if you already have them actually taking naps - what is your secret?

 

Wow! My husband lives a dream life that's for sure! I have the babies all night even on weekends (But he takes them from 8am-2pm when I wake up on the weekends. During the week, I get up and use the podee bottles and feed them at the same time. He always helps when I ask though. In fact, there have been a few nights where I said, 'I just can't get up and do it... I just can't.' so he got up and did it for me. I think those days are behind me though. The only feeding he does alone is between 8-9 when I take a bath and spend time for myself. So far, the babies have been good so this is working for us right now. If they start to get fussier/upset more, you better believe I will be waking DH up with me!

I think it's great that your husbands are so wonderful!

 

Not only does it get better but before you know it those little ones will be giving ou hugs and kisses and beautiful smiles and you would have forgotton all about the first "tough" times.

 

I put them in between my legs with their heads on my hip area and their feet facing out like mine. Now that they are a bit bigger, I put them on my hip area and face them out to the side of me. Hard to describe in words but that is the only way I found it easiest to feed them together.

Also, my DH gets up at 1am to leave by 2am so I know what you mean about feeling bad about him getting up. I have him help me when he gets home so I can do a few things around the house so I dont' have to do it later. Then I tell him to go to bed and I stay up till 11pm so if they fuss I am right there. Then I move them to the room and sleep myself. I take naps when they do from 11pm till 10 AM that is my time to sleep and then I am good for the day till night. That way he can function at work and have energy to help me in the evening. On weekends we take one twin each and that is our twin for the night and that helps too! This weekend he wound up taking them both and I got 6 hours of straight sleep for the first time in 3months!

HTH PM if you want

 

:hug99: It definitely gets easier. You'll get into a rhythm don't worry. I remember emailing all my mommy friends when the girls were about a month old saying "this is like that movie ground hog day! I'm living in an alternate reality where my life repeats every 3 hours. Change a baby, feed a baby, swaddle a baby, REPEAT!"

The first day my DH went back to work he was out the door less than 10 minutes and I called him and asked him to please come back!!! The next day was a little better and the next better than that. I rarely fed the girls at the same time. Only when they were both screaming for their bottles, which has only happened a handful of times. But my girls are pretty good eaters so it didn't (doesn't) take long for them to drink a bottle. Experiment with the tandem feeding. My SIL tandem nursed her twins until a year and she said she would lay the boys on either side of the couch, sit down in the middle, put pillows between her and the boys, and then slide them up onto the pillows one at a time. Yours might be too little to try this, or it might be easier in the bed since you have more room.

GL!!!! Hang in there and just because your DH works outside the house doesn't mean he can't help at night. You work all day too!!! -Leighann

 

As everyone else said, it really does get a lot easier. We feed the boys seperately. One sleeps while the other gets changed and eats and then we switch. It takes about an hour to get it done, but it works out better for us that way, especially when I've got a toddler thrown into the mix.

DH takes the night shift so I can get a full night of sleep. I'm with them all day so he figures it benefits us all more if I get the sleep I need.

Something that helps a lot (and I only do this because I get a good amount of sleep) is going to bed around 10:00 and getting up at 6:00 each morning. That way, I'm up and dressed and ready to go in time for the boys to get up. I don't feel like I'm behind the curve all day and seem to get a lot more accomplished. But to be truthful, I didn't start doing that until they were a month old. :lol:

 

I still made my DH get up with me at night even though "he has to go to work" in the morning. So do you!! But if I did them by myself if he was travelling at that age I would put them in the Boppy and give them each a bottle. I know that you are nursing, but I agree that if you can feed them at the same time, you will get more rest.

 

QUOTE(melissak @ Nov 26 2007, 05:47 PM) [snapback]509517[/snapback]
Now that DH is back to work, I feel bad having him get up every 2-3hrs since he needs to function at work. How didi you all do this so DH could get some sleep?


Haven't read all the replies, but DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT THIS! He may be leaving the house to go to work but you are working at the house, so those are his babes, too. I just didn't even give DH the option. We tried to work it out so we could take naps here and there on the weekends but if I was getting up, he was going to get up, too!!! Hang in there...we turned the corner about 2 mos and things got much easier then and each day has just gotten easier since then!

 

It will get easier!!! You can do it!


My DH and I always both got up. We did when I was off for 3 months after the girls were born, and when I went back to work. It just was easier that way.

Good Luck!

 

It DOES get easier. My first day all by myself didn't come until the boys were just under a month old. I dreaded that day like nothing else (i cried about it for DAYS beforehand) == and it WAS hard. (still isn't EASY ;-) I got in the grove after about a week...but I had lots of days were we'd end up with me holding two crying babies until DH got home from work. I'd say at around 2 months it started getting easier.... we got into a routien (regular bed time - general feeding schedual) - and now it's even easier. I know my boys now - -i can tell when they are getting tired (before they get overtired) -- I know the hungry signs, and when they just want to suck on a paci -- I know what makes them smile and laugh... It all gets easier.

As far as nighttime feeding - I would always get up with the first baby - and if the second woke while i was feeding, I would get up DH - but if not I tried to take at least one feeding alone (in be beginning, the boys would eat every 2 1/2 - 3 hours.) == now that we are down to 1 feeding at night, its kind of a crap shoot. If I'm really tired, or both boys are REALLY hungry and awake I'll wake DH to help. If i'm feeling up to it, or both the boys are drowsy - I try and do it on my own. Sometimes DH just gets woken up for some baby cuddle time if the boys are having trouble going right back down again. DH is always happy to help (and on weekends will often take the night feeding all himself so I can sleep). Honstly, though it makes him tired, he likes helping with the night feedings - he gets home around 5:30ish from work, so he only has about a half an hour before we start our bedtime routien (bath bottle, bed by 7pm) and they are often down for their morning nap (8am) when he's ready to leave for work - so its some extra time to spend with the boys.

 

it will get easier... I did all the night feedings after DH went back to work unless one was super worked up and i needed help. I liked the middle of the night our quiet time feedings...

 

I don't think my husband has gotten up at all. It's not that he's not helpful, he's just a ridiculously heavy sleeper. I have always tried to feed mine at the same time because it saved time and although it is awkward at first, it is a real time saver (and sleep saver). I wondered how I would ever do anything during the day--dishes, shower, brush teeth??? But it really does get easier and you'll find time to enjoy your babies too! We're not even on a regular napping/feeding schedule (other than eating every 4 1/2 hours) and it is still so much more manageable than it was 2 months ago! I hope these tough times fly by and things get easier for you.