First day alone

Hi everyone, I'm new to the first year board (and new to being a mom!!) ... today is my first day alone with my boys and I have a few questions. Ben and Jake are one month old today (born at 36 weeks), things are going okay so far but I'm hoping I can get some tips that may help the days go a little smoother!

Any advice on feeding at the same time? We've been on a schedule ever since we came home from the NICU - eating every three hours (expressed breast milk during the day, formula at night). My plan was to try and stay on the schedule but feed one fifteen minutes early and one fifteen minutes late. It didn't work out so well this morning, both woke up at the same time so I propped them in boppies and attempted to feed at the same time, but I really struggled through it. Any tips on how to get through feeding time by myself??

If you swaddle at night, do you also swaddle during the day? We use the miracle blanket and the instructions say not to use it for more than 10 hrs in a 24 hr period so I figured I just wouldn't swaddle during the day. But they have a really hard time going to sleep without it.

At what age are they able to hold onto their pacifiers a little better? I feel like I am spending so much time popping pacifiers back into their mouths. They can only hold onto them for a few minutes at a time, but they scream for them as soon as they pop out. I'm considering just getting rid of them all together... should I wait it out?? Will it get better?

If you're giving breastmilk and formula do you give them a little bit more when you use breastmilk? I know it doesn't fill them up as much so I'm wondering if I should give them 5-10 ml more than when we use formula? I'm probably just worrying for nothing (it seems I'm a bit neurotic since becoming a mother!)


Thanks for your help! I'm sure you'll be seeing LOTS of questions from me!

Carrie

 

first off, congratulations! i delivered mine at 34 weeks w/ time in the nicu. i have to say, the nicu did put them on a good schedule and we were able to keep it going. i didn't breastfeed, but we did feed them one after the other...it usually worked out most of the time. if it didn't, we would figure it out...we could prop...in your case, you can't, i'm sure some other breastfeeding mommies will help out here...also, there is a breastfeeding forum on here.

we did swaddle at night, but not during the day. they pretty much fell asleep wherever they were at the time, swing, bouncy, etc. they would feed, be up for a bit, sleep, etc. there wasn't any rhyme or reason per say to the sleep schedule that early. they were right on top of when they wanted to eat though

mine took pacifiers only for a little while, but yes, it was a pain popping it in all the time, but they weren't so bad w/ dropping it. after they found their hands, they never took the binky again! one tip i learned is instead of pushing it back in for them to hold it, pull it down from the top a bit like you are trying to flick it out of their mouths...this makes them suck in and hold it better and get stronger at it.

don't worry about being neurotic...i'm sure we've all been there and some are still there!

good luck!

Lois

 

Hi Carrie-

Wow! I had Deja Vu when I read your post. My name is Carrie also AND my twin boys names are Jake and Ben!!! Great minds.... Congrats on the babies. The first day alone is really hard. Just do what your gut tells you to do. You will never go wrong if you trust yourself. I always fed mine together, so I wouldn't be feeding ALL DAY! In the beginning I would either put them in the boppy's on either side of me on the couch (so not to strain my back) or I would sit on my bed (in the middle) and put my pillow in front of me with both of them on it and feed at the same time. My guys were horrible with holding paci's. I finally gave up. Now only Ben takes his at nap and bedtime only. I say swaddle, swaddle, swaddle at this age. I didn't use the Miracle blankets, just regular ones so I could adjust how loose or tightly they were swaddled. Mine always slept better when swaddled. I don't have any advice as far as breastmilk goes, I only formula fed. It does get easier as you become more comfortable and make sure you get your sleep. Things are always harder on little sleep. I hope this helped a little. Don't hesitate to PM me if you have any more questions. That's what we are all here for. Congrats again!!!


Carrie

 

Mine ate at the same time as well, which was every 3 hours. I propped one up beside me on the couch and held the other, or to make it easier set them in their carseats in front of you while you hold the bottles up for them.

I think by 3 months they were able to hold onto their paci's in their mouths better.

I swaddled day and night, but I didn't use miracle blankets, only recieving blankets. Mine didn't like to be swaddled, so by 2 months I quit swaddling them. Then they just slept in cotton footed sleepers.

 

Any advice on feeding at the same time? Any tips on how to get through feeding time by myself??

--We used the boppy pillows, but they were a tad older when we really got good at that. Instead, I sat on the floor with my legs in a V. Then put a large king size pillow between my knees. Then I just laid them down between my knees, propped on a pillow and fed them that way. My kids always wanted to eat at the same time and I just found it easier to do it this way. Okay, I am going to attach a pic to this post with a huge disclaimer that I look like a wreck. I can't believe I am doing this, but if it helps someone...

If you swaddle at night, do you also swaddle during the day?

--We swaddled anytime they were sleeping (night or naps), or if they were super fussy. It was the only thing that really helped them to sleep well. In fact, if I could, I would go in right now and swaddle Ben!!! Guess toddlers are too big to swaddle?!

At what age are they able to hold onto their pacifiers a little better?

--I created binky addicts, and I am okay with that. I had to find a different paci that they could hold in. The larger MAM pacifiers did the trick (6+mos) for Ben and then the Gerber ones worked for Hannah. I had to replace them often, but it really helped them to sleep and I was okay replacing them if it meant well-rested babies.

If you're giving breastmilk and formula do you give them a little bit more when you use breastmilk?

--I gave them as much as they wanted, whatever I was giving them. They stopped when they were full. If they finished a bottle, then I would just give them a tad more next time.

Congrats on your first time home alone with them. It gets easier. Promise.

 

Congrats on your babies! It's very hard being alone. I'll invite ANYONE over to help me with feedings!

Any advice on feeding at the same time?
-My babies were a nightmare to feed at the same time when they were really young - they were just so floppy. I tried two bouncy seats, to boppies, one in my arms with one in a boppy - everything I could think of. The two boppies kind of worked. I thought it would get easier as they got older but now one is a major puker (and a slow eater) and the other is extremely fussy while eating...so it still doesn't work! When I have to feed them at the same time, I do. If they're hungry at the same time I usually feed one 1/2 then the other 1/2 then go back to the first one, then give the second one his last 1/2. I do whatever it takes to get them both fed!


If you swaddle at night, do you also swaddle during the day?
I swaddled during the day but less tightly. Now they do 4 forty-five minute naps and I swaddle them just as tight as at night. My boys are addicted to swaddling - they can't fall asleep without it. I'm worried they'll be swaddled at university.

At what age are they able to hold onto their pacifiers a little better?
One of mine master it at 6 weeks and the other still can't hold it in (three months old!). The soother has been a great source of comfort for James.

If you're giving breastmilk and formula do you give them a little bit more when you use breastmilk?
What about mixing milk and formula all the time - I found that best. That way they always went about the same length of time between feedings instead of shorter with milk vs. formula.

By three months it gets easier being alone. It's just the feedings that are tricky for me, and like I said, I'll invite anyone over to help with that!

 

I hope your day went ok. You can definitely do this! I fed mine the way you are already doing it and eventually it just got easier as I did it day in and day out. Mine never really took to pacificers (Lord knows I tried!), so I can't really help there. I would feed them bm or formula as much as you think fills them up. I also did swaddles during the day and at night.

Good luck!

 

You've gotten great advise - and some good illustration, Kate! - I just want to say congrats and it will get easier!
I liked to feed mine at the same time, except at night (still do!) When their schedules got staggered at that age, it seemed like all I did all day long was feed babies. At least I got an hour break or so if I could feed them both at once.

Good luck and welcome to FY!

 

Hi! As everyone else said, it does get easier! I have two bouncy seats that have three recline positions, and I would put the girls in the bouncy seats one on either side of me and hold the bottles that way. In fact, I'm still doing it! I wish mine would hold their own bottles! Anyway, I formula feed, so I really don't know what to tell you on the EBM...I would just let them eat as much as they want. And like everyone else...swaddle untill they can get out of it/don't like it anymore! As far as paci use, it's up to you really if you want to keep putting them in or not. Rebekah is very fussy and I don't think I would have made it without the paci. Rachel just uses it to sleep now. Occasionally I have to put it back in while they sleep but during the day I don't use it...except in the CAR! I can't stand to hear Rebekah cry in the car. But my ds never wanted the paci, and how nice that really was not to ever take it away. I guess you need to make the decision as to whether or not you want them to keep using it and can handle them without it. HTH! Good luck, you're doing a great job already!

 

Thank you all for your responses! It's amazing how much help it is to get input from other twin moms!!!