finding a babysitter

I need to start finding some reliable babysitters for when DH deploys, but I'm super freaked out about the whole thing. The only people we've ever left the boys with are family or a couple close mom friends. I've been looking over sitter city, and my counselor told me of a kids clothing store that does "meet and greets" for moms and potential sitters, but the whole idea of finding someone I haven't known for a good long while just freaks me out, as in my blood pressure rises and I just get so paranoid! The thought of leaving my children w/ someone I don't know while I go away just scares me. I know I can have someone come and take care of them while I'm at home so I can "check" them out, but it still scares me thinking of all the things I just can't know.

Am I alone in this? Anyone else? Any advice to help me get over this?!?!

 

:hug: me, me, me, me!!! I had the hardest time thinking about hiring a babysitter!! I can't count the number of times I asked friends for referrals and I got some great ones. But I never called, I just couldn't imagine having a sitter and leaving my kids with someone I didn't know.
Well about 5 or 6 months ago, (through my twins group) someone posted about an available nanny. The mom posting had 4 year old twins and they were going to pre-school so they wouldn't need this WONDERFUL nanny... She had also nannied triplets before then (also in our group) and everyone spoke so highly of her. So I called her... I didn't need a "nanny" but someone that had that kind of experience and was loved by so many of my fellow MoM's (mothers of multiples). She comes 2 times a month to give me a dh date night, I can NOT be happier. I had her come over twice and play with the kids and they LOVED her! She was wonderful and knew all of the right questions and had all of the right answers. She met all of my specifications and that was really important to me. I trust my gut feelings and with her from the very beginning I have been nothing but happy.
I also have to add that the first 2 date nights were short and sweet and very tough for me, but they were wonderful. I came home and she gave me the complete run-down of the evening and I was very happy.
My only advice is trust your gut and do it :hug: Do your homework on them and hopefully you'll just click.
Good luck! I know how hard this can be!! :hug:

 

I have found many wonderful wonderful sitters from Craigslist. The only thing I can tell you is to interview them beforehand.

 

I can totally relate. All I can say is... interview thoroughly, ask all the questions you possibly can think of... and don't feel ashamed if you ask a lot of them! Trust your gut and err on the side of caution. We have found 3 of them: 2 from Craigslist who we had major issues with (thankfully the kids are fine!). The best one we have had, who is perfect for us, is from an ad I placed for off-campus employment at our local university. If you have one of those, I suggest trying that. Our sitter is not a child development major, but has lots of young nieces and nephews. She knows how to get down to their level and just play with them, without getting frustrated with them. I am almost always home while she is with them (95% of the time), and I've never even been slightly concerned by her behavior. That helps me feel better when we do leave her alone with them. We also usually leave her alone with them (if at all) after they have gone to bed, and our kids typically sleep really well.

The issue we had with one sitter was severe yelling (my partner was in the other room recovering from major surgery, so she heard it all) at 16 month olds for very minor offenses such as not coming when called! :crazy: So, after that we clearly outlined our expectations, not only as far as no physical discipline, but also no yelling unless it was a matter of well-being (about to touch a hot stove, for instance). The other sitter just had mental imbalances and would be really hyper one day and really down and lethargic another time - severe mood swings. That made us nervous. We also had concerns about some things she told us about her personal life. Just thought I'd share those in case you are concerned about any of them.

Good luck - this is such a very hard thing to do!! :hug:

 

Marissa I am right there with ya! I have yet to leave mine with anyone but family members. I just can't bring myself to do it. The thought really freaks me out. I have a highschool student who helps me teach sunday school. She is a really, really sweet girl and has offered to babysit for us. DH and I desperately need date nights more often. BUT...I can't bring myself to set anything up with her. I don't know her parents or where she lives, etc.. I think that is the bottom line issue I have, I don't know her background. Anyways, I agree with the others. Do your homework and interview/dig/investigate/ask questions. I would probably lean more towards finding someone through word of mouth, if I had that option.

Good Luck. I hope you find someone soon that fits well with your family.

 

I was the same way at that age!!! :hug: Because they can't communicate effectively, you can't have any idea what's going on!

I would go with a reliable agency if you can afford it, that should make you feel better. You will LOVE it if you can find someone you like and trust. It's going to be such a huge help and relief for you!!! You are going to need the break!!!

Good luck! Keep us posted!

 

Yes. It totally freaks me out, and I *still* haven't left them with anyone besides family, a close friend, and at preschool.

I would ask around. Do any of your friends use a nanny, or daycare? Sometimes nannies and daycare providers will babysit in the evenings/off days. Can you do a babysitting exchange with other moms? Do you have a local college nearby? Maybe try posting for early childhood education majors. Good luck!

 

Wow, I could have written this exact post, including the deployment. DH leaves tomorrow for 13 months. I have a laundry list of sitters, but know deep down that I won't call unless there is an emergency. Let me know if, when, and how you get past this .

Best of luck!