fighting

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by jbtinkerbell1, Aug 31, 2009.

  1. jbtinkerbell1

    jbtinkerbell1 New Member

    when to step in and when to just let them work it out i have 1 year lond twins that fight over every thing and i just do not know when to brack it up and when to just let them work it out them selves any help
    thank you all
     
  2. foppa2102

    foppa2102 Well-Known Member

    i just let mine work it out themselves unless they look to me for help. most of the time, they work it out, but earlier today, they were fighting over some sunglasses and then they both looked at me, and i took the sunglasses away to give them both a break.
     
  3. christie76

    christie76 Well-Known Member

    I let them work it out on their own, unless someone is about to get hurt. I will then take the bully and move them. Telling them no, doesn't work. They just laugh at me.
     
  4. BMartinez72

    BMartinez72 Well-Known Member

    I let them fight while I'm supervising. But at such a young age they don't have much of a grasp on others owning or having a right to something. Biting and hitting as well as screaming has come into play quite often. But as they get older, they do work better with each other and the good thing is, you can see when they are getting worked up and when to step in before someone gets hurt. It helps to have their favorite toys duplicated. If you can't and it's a shared passion, give it to them when they are seperate from the other - like beng in someones lap.
     
  5. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I let them work it out (unless someone is about to get hurt, that does not happen often that I have to physically intervene). Usually what happens is they both get upset, ignore each other for a couple of minutes and then play together nicely. If I have to intervene, I will separate them and distract them from whatever it is they are fighting over or about.
     
  6. dtomecko

    dtomecko Well-Known Member

    Lately I've been trying to work with them at an attempt to teach "right" and "wrong". They usually fight over toy stealing. My daughter rips something out of my son's hands and goes running, and he screams bloody murder. I try to pay attention to who had the toy first and make the other give it back. I then take the one who was in the wrong and make them sit on my lap with a new toy. It's kind of inbetween redirecting and doing a time out.
     
  7. skovarik

    skovarik Active Member

    I am having the same issue right now. My one son is being a bully and grabs and pulls his brother for a toy. Well today my sister was watching them and the bully did it to my niece. I don't want him to do this to other kids! (Well, I don't want it to happen to his brother either...LOL) Should I be doing more discipline? I'm at a loss!
     
  8. heathertwins

    heathertwins Well-Known Member

    My two are 21 months and it still goes on now. the one twin has stolen from her sister since she was able to. Her sister is smaller and doesnt' fight back and only cries when her sister hurts her. She just waits until her sister drops the toy and then goes and gets it. When I was no longer pg (baby 3) I decided to draw the line in the sand and intervene at each stealing episode I saw. A month later and it seemed no changes. She would just get frustrated and then go back and hit her sister. Biting has gone on and off. It has become less and less, but flares up especially if we have been in the house for too many days. I have no advice. I think dealing with a more dominate twin (which there usually is always one) is a long term issue of 18 years, so I figure I need to pace myself. My stealer tends to behave not too badly at mother's groups. She is more cautious of other kids but knows she can get away with it with her sister.

    I did find I had to move away from the stern "no hitting" "no taking toys" and move to time outs in the corner. I read something that says that if we allow something (hitting, biting, taking toys) that we are saying it is ok to do that behaviour. Makes sense. I found I drew the line when I felt they were starting to get old enough to understand a bit more.

    Heather
     
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