Fighting over car seats

I have come to dread taking the kids anywhere alone (which is everyday since I am the one to drop them off and pick them up at daycare!) due to the fights over who gets to sit behind mommy. I swear I am going to rip my hair out!!! :headbang: It is a true test of teaching 2 year old twins how to take turns, but they just don't get it yet. Sometimes explaining that we take turns like Mr and Ms Noodle do on Elmo's World (DVD) helps, but not always...usually they just both insist that it is their turn. I also try to reinforce that Sam sits behind mommy and the way to school and Emily sits behind mommy on the way home, but that only works about 1 out of 10 times. Ugh!!! Does anyone else have this battle?!! How do you deal with it?

 

Can you trade days instead of trips? So one day it is Sam's turn, but then the next day it is Emily's turn?

 

That's an idea!!! I'll try starting tomorrow, well today, since it is crazy late and I should be in bed!!

 

ugh Catie, what I found is no matter what I tried they still wouldn't get it. I had a similar problem except dd wanted a particular seat and threw a fit when her brother would sit in it. She would not trade with him at all.Eventually they decided tht they would each sit in their own seat and I would switch their seats on occasion. (she got her way, basically) But it was so aggrevating! sorry you get to "enjoy" this stage now.

 

I dont know how it actually happened but they always sat on the same side so now they just know that is their seat.

Your guys are older now so it will be tricky. Would you want to try to make them have 'assigned' seats at this time. If so, can you put their favorite thing in their 'new' seat and tell them they have to sit with their 'friend'. Totally lame I know! But I think I would try to designate their seats so you dont have to deal with fighting. It will probably be really hard at first. Maybe someone else can be creative of ways to get them to be in the same seat each time.

 

This was NEVER a problem until recently. DS sat behind me for 2 1/2 years and then one day BAM - seat changing hit.

Mine isn't terrible yet.....it has pretty much just changed to the other seat, but along the line of switching every day, what if you hung a picture of each kid on the head rests so that they could see who sits in what seat? Instead of the verbal communication, they would have a picture. Or a picture and write out their names.

 

I read once in a parenting multiples book to assign their carseats and seats at the table as babies, and then keep it for the rest of their life, no changing! They have said a few times that they want to switch, and I said nope, we don't switch seats. I didn't want to open up a can of worms. I would just assign it and no more switching.

 

We've always had "assigned" carseats. ardon: For one reason, to curb the fighting, the other is because they are different sizes so the straps are different fits on them. Since Emilie is smaller than Trevor her straps would be too tight on Trevor. So we've always had "Emilie's" seat and "Trevor's" seat.

 

We used to have fights over who had to sit in the middle and who got to sit by the door. Their new seats don't fit that way so both sit by a door and no more fights.

One thing they did on their own was to put a sticker on the window by their seat and now they always want to sit by their sticker. No switching. They switched beds a while back and there were some "I wanna trade back fights" and there were two more switches ... but they have stayed with their selection ever since I let them put stickers on their beds (after seeing how well it worked in the car). I figure stickers are a removeable customization and it's worth it to end the fights. Just a thought.

 

We put pink strap covers on one and blue on the other. They each have their own seat and they like that it is their "own seat" so there has never been a problem.

 

My twins just recently switched car seats. Im pretty sure DD initiated the move. She has been trying to sit in everyone elses seat for a coupld of months. Anytime I might just take her w/ me to the store she always sits in someone elses seat. One day when we were ALL going somewhere she got in DS seat, and DS had no problem with it. . HIS seat is in the 3rd row seat w/ my older DS, and both of the girls sat right behind me. . Since the switch DD2 is sitting in the back w/ DS1, and of course DS2 is sitting in the 'front' with DD1. There is actually less arguing and bickering this way. DD2 must be a genious!! LOL

 

I remember those days!!! UGH! For my two it seemed like a phase for a most part. These days we have one pink carseat with butterflies for Sarah and one gray/black carseat for Alex....they love their new seats and since getting them there's been no fighting at all!

 

Sorry, don't have that battle. I have the same issue as Amy (Summerfun). My son is 10 lbs heavier than my daughter so the straps are adjusted differently. They have always had "assigned" seats and don't fuss about that. Of course, we have other battles over toys, movies, tv shows, etc.

 

We've always had assigned seats, from infants to now. Starting out I guess just because and then later because their belts were fitted for them (they've consistently been about 5lbs different). Like pps I would try to find a way to give them assigned seats. You could try to sweeten the deal for the person behind the passengers seat saying that they get to actually see mommy and the person behind doesn't - although that might open up a whole other can of worms . . .
My girls always argue about who is going to get in first, in our garage we always get in on the driver's side since there isn't that much room on the passenger's side. They know that Brooke goes in first, but still fight about it anyway. Then I get Natalie to calm down by telling her that she gets to get out first! KIDS

Good Luck!

 

Since the day we installed their convertible seats, we've always had one for Amy and one for Sarah. There is no variation in where anyone sits.

When they were around age 2, I had a few occasions to be carrying just one of them, and I made the mistake of asking if she (whoever she was) wanted to sit in her own seat or her sister's seat. This lead to several weeks of constant demands to sit in each other's seats and fighting over it, until finally I just said "No more -- from now on you sit in your own seat, whether your sister is in the car or not."

I think this is one of those cases where it's just easier all around if everyone knows whose is whose, and no debate. I agree with PP, if I were you, even though your kids are old enough that this will be difficult at first, I would come up with some way to assign their seats and then stick with it.

 

:lol: I have so had to use the same example of Ms Noodle and Mr Noodle on the swing taking turns.

Seriously, BIG :hug: to you! I don't have the problem of them fighting over the car seats. They have always set in the same ones; so maybe they haven't thought about makin a big deal out of it yet.

 

Mine arnt to bad that way but Jack wants to sit in his sisters car seat all the time (it is bright pink!) and Sophie wants to sit in jacks. Doesnt bother me where they sit as straps can be adjusted but we will have to stop it soon as Jack needs the next car seat up and Sophie is just to little to sit in it so will need to stick to her one. Thatll be fun explaining that! x

 

In our lives it is more about the battle than the subject. We had the problem with fighting over seat which ended when we assigned seats. The assigned seats work but now they fight over who gets buckled first and then who gets unbuckled first. We take turns but there are occasional tears when someone thinks it should be their turn and it isn't. I let the tears flow and I stay committed to our routine of taking turns.

It'll get better and then there will be another struggle. Good luck!

 

I did stickers on their high chair booster seats and never had a provblem after that (they even agreed to let each other take turns with the other SAME SEAT! ). I have also tied a piece of ribbon on toys (blue for Brynne, purple for Maya). It really helped! It was just a concrete way for them to uderstand what was their toy, seat, whatever! So, I agree with pp that putting their own special toy,stuffed animal, picture (anything, really) on their seats before they get in the car might help.

Oh, the reason the ribbon worked so well was because I tied the knot tight so they souldn't just take it off. So, maybe try to find something that you can easily switch, but they can't.

Good luck!

 

QUOTE(kimr @ Mar 25 2009, 03:34 PM) [snapback]1243765[/snapback]
You could try to sweeten the deal for the person behind the passengers seat saying that they get to actually see mommy and the person behind doesn't - although that might open up a whole other can of worms . . .


I do try to use this line of reasoning, and occasionally it will work.

Thanks for the tips! I so wish we had started with assigning seats from the beginning....that will so be my advice to all new twin parents!!!!! I just don't know how to assign a seat fairly now, since it is all about sitting behind mommy. I was thinking of putting some kind of 2 sided sign with an E on one side and an S on the other that could be flipped back an forth each trip. That way it would be clear to them who's turn it is, and takes me out of the middle of the battle. They can recognize those 2 letters now, so maybe that will work? Who knows, I'm desparate to try anything!!!

 

I have a honda ody minivan. I have one Marathon in 2nd row behind passenger and the other in 3rd row middle. Dd is in her britax booster behind me. I make it a HUGE deal to sit in the back (3rd row). But you have to behave to sit there. And we switch back and forth. It works most of the time. But wow my boys did not start fighting over carseats until they were 3ish. I dont know what to do with 2 yr olds. Good luck!

 

We have always had "assigned" seats in the car, highchairs, at the table, each one has his own bed, etc. So far so good...but I know this isn't a guarantee for the future.

 

QUOTE(summerfun @ Mar 25 2009, 01:02 PM) [snapback]1243570[/snapback]
We've always had "assigned" carseats. ardon: For one reason, to curb the fighting, the other is because they are different sizes so the straps are different fits on them. Since Emilie is smaller than Trevor her straps would be too tight on Trevor. So we've always had "Emilie's" seat and "Trevor's" seat.

This is the case with us, too. It never even occured to me to let them sit in different seats. They just wouldn't fit right.

 

we used to switch seats when they were little, before they realized what was going on. Now, and for the last couple of years, they have sat in the same seats. Ashley sits behind me and Justin on the other side. They both sit by the window. It works pretty well. That is until Ashley decides she wants to sit on Justin's side and then the fight begins. She is such the drama queen and most of the time it is her way or no way. If it is no way, then the crying goes on and on!!! But, sometimes you just have to let them fight it out and they will eventually start getting into a routine!!

 

We have the "my turn for the middle" thing here!!! That's the coveted seat in our car! So, we literally say "who's turn is it for the middle" and they keep track now!! I would tell them before you get in the car! "It's X's turn for the left seat" and then go out. I wouldn't get into it at all. Can't reason with 2 yr. olds!! :hug:

 

We have the same issue with who sits in what car seat. They can see better out of the window in one of the seats. Mine race to get in the van first, but we take turns and they have to deal with it. I let one sit there on the way somewhere and the other on the way back. It usuallu works. Mine also fight over who gets to potty first on the potty. So funny to see them race to the bathroom.

 

We just switched to boosters and that opened this can of worms for us. They both have the same car seat and they are adjusted to the same place.

The other day at daycare, i put Jessy in the car and she crawled all the way over to Jazz's seat(behind the driver). She had such a fit when I would let her stay there. She cried all the way home. I told them they had to take turns but don't in force it unless they say something about it

 

I like the car strap cover idea.. Put pink on one and blue on the other .. or whatever their favorite colors are. We have a pink seat and blue seat, and they can only switch if both agree (almost never).

 

Mine started to do that too! Kevin has been freaking out every time because he wants to be behind me. But I have the seat belts set up for the kid who sits in that seat, so no chance he will get his way. :lol:

:hug: Catie!