Fighting already? They just turned 1!

It seems like ever since my late crawlers began crawling (about 3.5 weeks ago), they really get annoyed/angry/frustrated with each other. If Sullivan is trying to go through the door on the Laugh and Learn Home and is blocking the way for Finley - Finley will just push him over! If Finley has the toy vacuum and Sullivan wants it, he just grabs it or pushes Finley's hands off of it so he can have it. I swear, they make each other cry more than anything else (except of course, when they go down for bed and they protest that!). I feel like I'm breaking up fights off and on all day long. But, really, as funny as it is sometimes to see them get "angry" with each other - I also did not expect this at all. We have an older DS, so obviously we didn't witness "sibling rivalry" b/c there were no siblings.

Is this normal? It is like they have absolutely no regard for each other. Yet, when one gets really upset and cries - the other will, too. And I've also seen moments where I would swear that they are trying to comfort each other when upset - reaching out and patting one's head, etc. They definitely treat each other differently than they treat their older brother. He can be blocking the doorway and they'll sit and play with him, climb on him, etc. But they really get pretty darn mad at each other. And they are only 12 mos 1 week old.

Have others gone through this? Does it only get worse as they get older? Don't sugarcoat it, tell me the truth!

 

I hope it is normal! If it isnt normal you are certainly not alone...I am so there...Jordan and Dekar have been doing this and it is gonna get worse before it gets any better I am sure! I just wanted to say that...I have no advice but WILL check back to see what you get.

 

Yep. Mine do it too. I can't tell you if it gets worse or better, but I'm expecting worse.

 

Yep, we went through that. But for us it got better. I mean dont get me wrong we still have lots of fights over stuff, but they are able to communicate now and I am able to communicate with them and that takes alot of the frustration. Plus, we are starting time outs to establish some rules. Hang in there. I think from 12-18 was just plain hard AGAIN. Now we are in a better stage, but it still has its challenges.

 

mine went through that between 11 and 13 mos - it seems to have stopped for now. its totally normal - i hear. i just try not to get involved because i think that makes it worse. at this age they like the attention even if they are being reprimanded. so i ignore unless someone is really being hurt.

 

Totally normal in my book or, at least, I hope so.

Mine did that then and they occasionally do it now. Of course, now they each like to steal something that brother is playing with and run around the house! Occasionally, they will bop each other on the head when frustrated, and we did go through a biting phase between 15-18 months but things overall are getting better.

 

Mine do the same thing. They just started to do it...they get SO angry with each other and hit, push and smack each other over pretty much anything. Sometimes I step in and stop them, especially if one is taking the other one's toy. It's funny too because when my older DS takes away their toys or holds onto them they could care less.

 

Very normal I am afraid. and mine is turning two soon and there is no sign of it letting up.. just hang in there

 

I am hoping it is normal because my girls just pull, push each other out of the way, grab toys from each other, you name it.

 

I always stepped in and tried to show them how to touch gently, or removed the offender from the situation (just picked him up and moved him a few feet away). Eventually, closer to 2 years I started giving time outs for hitting/pushing/biting. Mostly, I intervened because I didn't want them thinking that those were acceptable ways of expressing themselves with other kids. Not that I thought it was ok to treat their brother like that, but I didn't want them pushing down a kid at the park who picked up their toy. So, I just enforced rules that I expected them to follow outside of the house inside the house.

For us, the fighting got better over time, but we know twins who's fighting got a whole lot worse. Needless to say, we don't have playdates with them anymore. Which is another reason to be kind of strict now about appropriate behavior: if you ever want your kids to be invited to other kid's homes -- at least more than once.

I felt that second year (between 1 and 2) was the hardest. Mostly because I felt like I was a broken record of "rules", but the hard work really paid off by that 3rd year, when they had both the understanding of the rules and the self-control and verbal skills to express their needs/feelings rather than physically reacting. Anyway, good luck!