Feeling sorry for myself

Ok, I moved last year to a new province and city, where I only know about 5 people. My husband has some family here, but all of mine is 4000kms away. I would love to have someone throw me a baby shower because with my first child I was single, and this would be the first one for my hunsband. Also, we tried for 9 years to have this pregnancy, so it's a HUGE deal for us. I've heard that it is not standard to have a shower for a second child. Hubby and I went and registered for gifts, and when I told my mother,she asked why?!? I don't expect people to be as excited about this pregnancy as we are but a little would be nice.

So here I'm wondering, is it kosher to throw your own shower? Has anyone ever done this or heard of someone doing this?

 

If it's been at least three years since your last pregnancy, it is perfectly acceptable to have a shower.
I'd throw myself one, but that's just me AND I love having parties. I'm sure it's not about the gifts, more about the celebration.
Maybe have something like a 'sprinkle' or a 'diaper party'. EVERYONE will wanna give you diapers!!
Having two is way different than having one and most people give away or sell their baby stuff after their kids are 3ish anyway.
I say go for it. If people don't want to come they won't. :hug99:

 

I don't think I would throw my own shower but I might have a "welcome babies" open house after the babies come.
That way people won't think you are asking just for gifts, you know?

 

I sympathize with your predicament, and I definitely think it's great to have a second shower, but I wouldn't feel comfortable throwing my own. Maybe you can hint to the few people you know out there about how you'd like to have one.

 

I've hinted, not too subtly at my hubbys cousin that I want a baby shower. He said he'd talk to his wife about it. I could throw a party here, but I couldn't do a shower, I don't think. I would feel like I was walking around with my hand out, and that I know that I would feel self-centred. It's really hard for me right now to be away from my family. My hubby's family are nice people, but they aren't MY nice people. Because we lived so far away, I really don't know any of them very well. My people are very open, loving, and lively, where as my hubby's are more reserved. Also, I know because we struggled for SO long to have these babies, my family was there for all of it, and understand me. Now, I'm feeling weepy lol! I'm gonna call my sister.

 

I'm surprised someone in your hubby's family isn't throwing one. With this being his first child (children), you would think they would.

 

Sorry you don't have anyone to throw you a shower. I would not feel comfortable giving myself a shower..... around where I live that would not be something people would like.

Hopefully someone will step up and give you one. If not, I love the Welcome Babies idea.

 

I'm sorry! That really stinks!! I think you deserve a shower especially since these are your dh's first children.

 

I know it's usually not acceptable to throw your own shower, but I think your situation is a little different. Plus, the amount of time between your first and this pregnancy PLUS the fact you have twins, I think you should have a shower!! I say throw your own! Or, you could throw a party and most likely people will still bring gifts and everything.

 

I understand where you're coming from ... I wouldn't call it shower, but maybe put a slight angle to it, and make it some kind of baby party ... last get together before the twins arrive or something like that.

I had a shower the 2nd time, small one. My friend threw me one. I moved to the States when I was 30 weeks pregnant with my first, so I didn't know many people ... the 2nd time was different ... now I am have many friends, and thinking about the fact that we'll be going back at the end of the year just makes me wanna cry ...

 

QUOTE(snowmom @ Nov 6 2007, 10:46 AM) [snapback]483560[/snapback]
Ok, I moved last year to a new province and city, where I only know about 5 people. My husband has some family here, but all of mine is 4000kms away. I would love to have someone throw me a baby shower because with my first child I was single, and this would be the first one for my hunsband. Also, we tried for 9 years to have this pregnancy, so it's a HUGE deal for us. I've heard that it is not standard to have a shower for a second child. Hubby and I went and registered for gifts, and when I told my mother,she asked why?!? I don't expect people to be as excited about this pregnancy as we are but a little would be nice.

So here I'm wondering, is it kosher to throw your own shower? Has anyone ever done this or heard of someone doing this?



aww. you could make it a diaper and dinners party if you dont want it to seem like your fishing for gifts.

so you can spend sometime with everyone before you have no time later

goodluck sweetie id throw ya one if i was closer

 

Given the circumstances, I think you should have one!! It's no different then a house warming party, you invite friends and family and they bring you gifts for the house. I'm sure people will understand. Maybe you could call it something other than a baby shower? My girlfriend just recently had a "couples shower". Everyone brought gifts, she did a bar-b-que, and it was a really nice relaxing time with everyone before the baby arrived, or in our case, babies! Good luck, and let us know what you decide.

 

i dont think there is a problem having your own shower just call it a party! dont expect gifts; i had a baby party for my YDS we just combined it with another special occasion; its silly to think after each child u have u cant celebrate with a pary lots of food,friends,fun!

 

So I'm getting over my pity party! I had to keep reminding myself that what is important is that I'm having twins, not that I'm having a shower. I still want one, but I think that a lot of my upset yesterday was due to being homesick for my family. And being pregnant duh!! I think if no-one throws a shower, I will have a meet the baby party after they come. My hospital is very fussy about who they let into the mother and babe ward, so it's a good excuse to have a party when we get home with them.

 

In my family we give long distance baby showers....talk to your mom...maybe she could host one in her hometown....and everyone brings their gifts there...unwrapped...and they show them off to everyone and wrap them up and put them in big boxes and mail them to you!!!


or host the baby party at your home! Ours is going to be a coed shower...and it is being held in our home...because I am on bed/couch rest....

Good luck on whatever you decide!!

Missy

 

My family is over 2000 miles from me.. so I know how you feel. If none of my "new friends" or hubby's family gives me a shower... I am letting my older children give me one. You may want to try that... it may be a good way for your older child to get involved too, depending on your older child's age. Instead of a baby shower call it a sibling shower. You deserve a shower and you will be able to use the "excuse" of wanting to get your older child involved and making that child feel important in the family. It would do both of those things after all and you get your shower!!
Good Luck!

 

These showers sound lovely- we don't have them in the UK!

 

Hey SnowMom I'm right there with you. I'm from Canada originally and we moved to Australia and I don't know many people here. I think the hard thing is finally being pregnant and with twins (first time for me) and having next to nobody to share it with. I was never big on showers but now I wish I could just be surrounded by friends and family and talk about the babies. It was and still is a bit of a sore topic for me. Hard to go through tough times alone, but also going through good times alone.

I'm also frustrated that I have recieved more gifts from "strangers" that I've never met or met once than I have from my so called friends. They all have known for months now that we were having two girls and I haven't seen a single present from the people who I would label the closest to me. It isn't the gift -- just the thought.

I had visited my family in June and I was 12 - 15 weeks, I really don't understand why my mom didn't think of having a shower for me then. It did make me sad that I missed that.

Hugs to us.

Heather

 

My dh and I went and did a baby registry at a dept. store anyways, and when I've been talking to family/friends I say " Oh we registered because people were asking us too". Only 1 person did, but I wanted to because I never registered with my first, and this may be the only time my hubby gets to as well. But I think some of the family are clueing in finally, because yesterday I was talking to them and they said "Oh so we can see what you would like and ship it to you?" Yippee!!! They can be taught! lol.

I've also found out that 2 more members of my family will be coming out when the twins come. I thought it was just going to be my mother and stepfather, but now my stepmother and older sister are coming too. I'm thrilled about that, because I know that my step mom and sister are the kind of very helpful people that won't just want to sit around and hold the babies, but are happy to jump up and help with stuff around the house. My mom will more likely want to play with the babies only, tho she may do some cooking while she's here. Also, step mom is very prone to spoiling me!

 

well there ya go thats great u are having lots of help and pressy's too :lol: