Feeling really bad about PT'ing...

My girls will be three next week...they will, for the most part, go in the potty if I take them every 30 minutes...as long as I do that, there are usually no accidents in our day. But they don't really ever tell me when they need to go...I have to make them go. I know I waited too long to seriously push the training...I think they've gotten too comfortable with pullups. I make them wear panties in the day, but pooping, you can forget it...they are going to go in their panties/pullups 8 times out of 10. They are really smart and are ahead in most other dept's, but when it comes to PT'ing...they just don't care. And forget night time...my bestfriends daughter will be 3 in April and hasn't pee'd overnight in her pullups since she was a year old. She doesn't go in the day though...I don't understand that...I limit their liquids at night and cut them off at a certain time, but they are still wet every morning. I'm feeling a lot of pressure from my husband and the grandparents...I feel really bad about it. I mean I guess I'll just keep taking them every 30 minutes till they are 10 years old, ha...ya KWIM??? Sometime or another they have got to start recognizing when they need to go, and do it on their own. Any advice??

 

First of all, staying dry at night is not in their control. It is a hormonal "switch" that activates to keep them dry at night, and for some kids that starts early, for others it takes as long as age 10 or later.

As for daytime training, they probably don't understand the sensation of having to go, since sending them every 30 min. pretty much guarentees that they never have a full bladder. I would, instead of sending them every 30 min., ask them if they need to go, and if they hadn't gone in an hour or so, then send them. I found that the "timer" method never worked for us--it wasn't until they could comprehend the sensation of having to go that they were sucessful.

Pooping also, can be a control issue. Marcus held it for 3 days one time, and once he did finally let it go--that was his first time on the toilet, and the last time he pooped in his pants. Jonathan needed a reward program before it worked for him, but he was 3 years 9 months when he finally stopped going in his pants.

 

Thanks Sharon!

I've really tried both ways with the timer and all...I guess I've been more or less trying to prevent accidents, but I'll space it out more. I'm willing to try nearly anything...and I think the understanding the sensation comes and goes, or either they don't understand it in enough time to make it to the potty....because sometimes, occasionally, they will go to the potty by themselves...one of them even went and pooped on the potty by herself a few weeks ago...so I guess they are gradually picking it up...I'm just feeling pressured...I hate that. I hate having other people make you feel inadequate or like a failure...like there is a rule that a child should be completely, without room for error, potty trained by 2 or 3 or whenever. Sorry for the rant.

 

honestly I just think when they're ready - they're ready...my son is the same way at 2 yrs 8 mos he's peed on the potty once - and that was 6 months ago and nothing since! He's advanced in other ways - its just he could care less if he pee's his pants or pees on the potty...

DD is starting to tell us when she needs to go but that changes on a daily basis - some days she tells us every time and some days she just pees her pull up all day long without a care in the world...

poop is an entirely different world!