Feeling overwhelmed

So this has been an awful week for me. I am over worked, and fighting with DH. Both kids have a stomach bug and I am changing diapers every 45 mins. :bad: I am trying to juggle working out of my house 40 hrs a week with no help watching the twins. I am blessed to be able to work from home, but I need help. We live so far out of town that no one has called about my Nanny job. DH and I got into it Friday about all the stress and pressures we are both under and nothing has been resolved. I don’t know how to keep my chin up. I look over the NICU pictures of my babies and try to stay focused on the fact they are now happy, healthy babies. However, that is hard when they are puking on the floor and I have deadlines. We have no family here to help us and I haven’t connected with anyone to become friends. I just feel so emotional. I feel like I do all the housework, the entire baby caring, and contribute a large paycheck. I can’t feel the sympathy my DH wants me to about his job because in my eyes, I am handling so much more. I’m tired of fighting with him, and I feel so alone. I ask him to move us closer to family and he says he feels his career opportunities are here right now. I can’t go on like this. I had one call about my job and she was supposed to come out and interview today, well she stood me up. That was the last straw that broke the camels back. I cried my eyes out. Of course, I put the babies down for a nap first. And then let go. How do you stay strong when you feel so overwhelmed?
I have even looked on many of the babysitter websites and no one is available in my area. Very frustrating!

 

Hi,
I just wanted to say that "I feel your pain!!" You are certainly NOT alone, I'm sure there are many of us who feel the same way, I'm one of them, overwhelmed and tired of always feeling tired. I also don't have much family support, but I only work part-time and do live in a city with babysitting available although not affordable. There are says when I also just cry because I feel soooo fatigued. I don't really have a solution for you, but I wanted to tell you that I understand your struggle. You will get through this and someday, when your kids are grown they will appreciate all you've done, and YOU, Mom, will be their hero. Keep your chin up

:hug99:

 

I just wanted to give you a great big hug! I don't work and think you are a SUPER MOM! I just wanted to give you some support, I am so sorry the nanny interview flaked on you, I am sure that was such a let down for you...but she wouldn't be much help if she flaked out daily either so good that you know now. I will pray that the right nanny comes into your life very quickly to give you some much needed time to do what you need to do. Hang in there!

 

I'm sorry you are feeling like this. Just wanted to send a ((((((((Big Hug)))))))) too.

 

I'm so sorry... these are problems that aren't easily fixed, but all I can really tell you is to pray without ceasing. We're told that God can give a "peace that passes understanding," at times when things are unreasonably hard, and that God never gives us more than he knows we can handle. I hope things get easier soon, though, for you, and I'll be praying for you!

 

im right there with ya. single mom of three.. i wk my 40 the ends dont meet.. and when i come home all they want me to do is play..

which i enjoy greatly..


i couldnt do it with out my mom.. she pays for half my kids needs.. watches them when i wk then she wks the weekends..

after i get home.. she goes to my grandfathers to help him out..

shes the real hero..

as for moving closer to your parents.. that is a primary reason that we broke up.. mom bought a house in another state..

i fought to move and lost.. but won custody of my kids.. but im stuck in this area that is so expensive to livein..

i guess my biggest advice to you is one thing at a time..

get the kids over the flu bug.. 2 more days max.. then look for help..

but meanwhile i would get on your dh's tail.. and tell him hes either in or out..

my x would rather live off of mommy and daddy and so he is their problme now

 

I feel your pain and have had many similar days -- I work full-time and am the primary childcare provider. My husband leaves home 5 AM and does not return until 7 PM.

For childcare, have you considered an au pair. This is definitely not an option for everyone, but if you are having trouble finding a nanny, might be worth looking into. It is definitely cheaper and you get loads of flexibility in terms of the days/times you want the au pair to work.

Not sure where you have looked for a nanny, but we've had some luck with Craigslist.

Good luck -- it does get better.

 

I'm sorry that you are feeling overwhelmed, with what you described, I understand. I work full time outside the home and can NOT imagine trying to work from home and take care of my monkeys. That's a LOT of stress.

I think the AuPair is a good idea to think about, or find a different Nanny service. You HAVE to get some help. Also, I'd recommend making a list of household responsibilities and divy them out EQUALLY between you and your DH. Just because you work at home, doesn't mean you should be doing everything! Working and childcare is more than enough. But to be fair, I'd divy it all up to where you don't have to do it all.

:hug99:

 

oh my goodness, u can't work full time and take care of the twins too, that is a full time job already, its just too much.

Is there anyway u can get to talk to your DH and u can both figure out a plan. Maybe whilst the girls are napping in the morning, I find if we try to talk in the evening when were are both tired we end up arguing.

Maybe calling another nanny service and ask if they have people who can come out for short periods until u can figure out a permanent situation.

Good luck to you.

amanda

 

I can't even imagine trying to do what you are doing! I work FT outside the home and my DH helps almost 50% with the baby duties (when they're not at daycare), and it is still hard. When I'm home alone with them I get absolutely nothing done -- barely even laundry.

Ditto the idea of a nanny or au pair service -- someone you can pay (even if you have to pay them a little extra) to find you someone, so you don't have to do it with just a classified ad.

And it sounds like your DH needs a reality check. Does he not realize that you are working TWO full-time (if not more) jobs? Do you have a minister or trusted friend (even if it's a long-distance friend) that could have a chat with him?
:hug99: :hug99: :hug99:
Hang in there, you will figure something out.

 

Thanks for all the support! We don't have craigslist out here, and I have tryed all the internet services with no luck. I am getting a woman to come out and give me a quote on house cleaning today. God, I hope she shows up! Thanks for all the prays.

 

I don't know how you are managing it all! I am a SAHM and I can barely get the house work done, let alone try to do an actual job while I am taking care of them. I can't even make a phone call while they are awake. You and DH should divide up the household chores. Ask if he can at least take something off your plate. Mine cooks and most of the time does the dishes because I really don't like to do it, so he took that for me.

As for your childcare situation, I also agree that you should try looking into an au pair service, if that's something you are comfortable with. Also try the Craigslist of the nearest big city. I am somewhat out in the country, but I have sold items off of the Baltimore Craigslist. Since you are kind of in the boonies I take it, you may have better luck finding live-in help than having someone drive out to you every day. Is there a daycare nearby? Maybe you could do part time daycare if you can't find a nanny. Good luck! I get stressed and overwhelmed too at times.

 

I forgot to mention that I can't hire a live in because my BIL is living with us until X-MAS as he works here during the forrest fire season. He is so sweet and wonderful with the babies but works 14 days straight, 10-12 hrs a day. So no real help there either.

 

I really think that DH must pitch in some more.

 

Maybe a call to the local college or university's education department? I know one of my old professors would get calls about babysitters needed and let her students know about them. Maybe there is a job board at the university? Or maybe contact the local high school for after school help?

laurie

 

QUOTE(newmomma @ Jul 11 2007, 08:44 PM) [snapback]326601[/snapback]
Maybe a call to the local college or university's education department? I know one of my old professors would get calls about babysitters needed and let her students know about them. Maybe there is a job board at the university? Or maybe contact the local high school for after school help?

laurie


I did and that is where the girl that stood me up was coming from <_< But thank you for the suggestions.

 

I so feel your pain. I work outside the home though, but man, I'm behind every day at work. I can't put in more than the standard work week because of the kiddos, so I can't ever catch up. My MIL watches them during the week, but I swear my life is like the movie Groundhog Day. Get up, get the babies ready, get myself ready, drop them off, go to work, pick them up, come home and try and play with them while I'm mentally exhausted, try and get them to bed at a decent hour (doesn't work lately), get chores done and then CRASH OUT. Start over.

Weekends are somewhat better in that I'm more mentally refreshed and actually enjoy the time I have with them, but I still get nothing done around the house. My husband drives me nuts too because he's hot or cold with the help around the house and the babies. Some days he really helps out, others nada. I just chewed him out the other night for it.

I wish I had some advice, the only thing I can think of regarding help is to maybe contact your local church to see if they can recommend someone.

I know it's tough, so HUGS to you!

 

Oh my, I'm sending big hugs. You have to be SO STRESSED! I work FT from home, but I do have help. I'd have gone insane long ago without it.

Have you looked into getting an au pair? It sounds like it might be ideal for you. If I am ever looking for help again I think that is the way I'll go (I have a nanny right now, who is DH's niece).

Hang in there.