Feeling like a failure as a mom

It seems we have struggled with one of my boys since week 20 in utero when we found out he was IUGR, well we didn’t know that at the time, but that is when all the craziness began. Anyhow – he was born at 33 weeks weighing 2 lbs 7 oz – for the most part he has done okay, just behind as far as growth and physical milestones. He had acid reflux pretty bad for the first year and has just had a hard time catching up weight wise. He is VERY picky eater, so we have been trying to be a little more strict about not just eating chicken nuggets and French fries, but now his weight gain is so nominal the Dr is worried and says go back to feeding him whatever he will eat with the most fat and calories possible.

So in addition to feeling sorry for myself – looking for more/new ideas of foods that my skinny, picky eater might like. These are the things he will eat pretty consistently – yogurt (full fat, organic), grilled cheese, chicken nuggets, French fries, crackers, chips, pancakes, Gerber pasta pick-ups, banana and mandarin oranges. We have done and do add butter to things like the eggs along with whole milk – now will be switching to adding heavy cream. He doesn’t care for peanut butter or dipping sauces too much like ranch dressing.

Also trying to figure out how to balance all of this with his brother who is average weight, so we dont have the opposite problem with him.

Thanks ladies!

 

My husband just bought me thiscook book. It has things like chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, grilled cheese, etc, but you put purreed veggies in the food. I haven't tried it yet. I've read mixed reviews on the taste, so I don't know. Maybe worth a shot?

Don't feel like a failure as a mom though!!

 

Man, that is so tough! :hug: My boys were not even on the chart for the longest time, so I know all about trying to get calories in them! Everything I've read about feeding never seems to take into account twins, and that you may be setting up one for bad eating habits while trying to get the other to gain.

So is your smaller boy not gaining appropriately? By that I mean is he not following his growth curve? The reason I ask, is that I feel like sometimes peds freak out when kids are smaller than "normal" (on the lower end of the chart), even though kids are gaining on their own curve. If he is gaining on his normal curve (that they've charted out since birth), then maybe he's just going to be a smaller boy. ardon:

If he's not gaining appropriately, then I might ask to be referred to a nutritionist. They would have a lot better ideas than a general ped about how to get healthy, calorie dense foods into your one DS without putting your other DS at risk for health problems.

One suggestion I have is to let them choose their own sippy cups and put Carnation Instant Breakfast Mix into 1 of them and don't let them swap sippies. Then your lower weight DS is getting the extra calories. Also, you can try cooking with olive oil, which is a "good" fat and not unhealthy.

I had an IUGR baby myself; it's tough because you feel so protective of those little souls. I can tell you one thing that may be reassuring; when I stopped trying to "force" my guys to eat a lot and just let them free-feed healthy calorie-dense foods, they went from the bottom of the weight chart to the 10-25th percentile. If the ped is very concerned, then s/he should have no problem making a referral to a specialist who can give you some guidance.

Good luck, and know that you are not a failure!!! You are a concerned, caring parent and doing a great job. :hug:

 

You are NOT a failure!!! :hug:
My dd was doing great with weight until she turned a year, that was when she fell on the charts, not a lot but about 10%. We then had to have blood work done and found that she's healthy just underweight. Ever since then we've been struggling to get her on a curve. She isn't as much a picky eater but only really likes fruits and veggies which don't put weight on her. So at her 18 month appointment when she fell off the chart completely my ped suggested pediasure or carnation breakfast drinks. So when she won't eat anything other then fruits or veggies I give her those. She hates eggs, cheese, peanut butter, and anything slimy which is usually pasta so I know the picky eater feeling. :hug:
She is finally back on the charts at 3% for weight. Her younger brother (by 13 months) weighs well over 5lbs more then her LOL

 

There is lots of stuff on coconut oil and babies. Goggle will come up with some great stuff on it. Here is one that is simple and fast to read.

http://hubpages.com/hub/Coconut_Oil

I guess it's hard not to blame ourselves sometimes? It's not your fault and your doing your best to take care of that little guy.

 

Finding a nutritionist--

Don't know if you qualify for WIC, but they have nutritionists. My boys are doing great (consistently at the bottom of the curve), and they still offer me a talk with her every three months, as I breastfeed. If you don't qualify financially for WIC, they would still be able to refer you to a nutritionist. I like that these nutritionists are used to dealing with kids. (They are not just dealing with obese adults, etc...)