Feeling like a crap mom lately....

I just need to get that out. I feel all I do is referee all day, I swear I should just wear stripes. Sometimes I think having a whistle would be a good idea.

Discipline is so hard when you have two and a small house. I feel like my discipline is failing and sometimes I just give in because it's easier.

My girls are generally well behaved and I know it could be worse but I just feel like every day is such a battle.

I am always making one happy and one upset when they fight over a toy and it's so frustrating!!

I can't get anything done without putting on the TV. It's the only way we eat supper at a reasonable time each day.


AHGHGHGH!! This age is tough. Anyone else feel the same?!?!?

 

Yep, you are definitely not the only one - I will say that once mine turned 3 I felt like we were better able to reason with them so we don't have to referree *as* much, but still multiple times a day. About 3 months ago we started using a timer when they are fighting over a toy - each kid gets the toy for 10 minutes and they listen for the timer and it is the other one's turn when the timer goes off, that works really well for those kinds of fights.

:hug: Hang in there, you are definitely alone! :hug:

 

I totally second the timer, we used that one a lot.

 

Mine are 3 and 1/2 and I feel like I'm not a good mom, every.single.day. It's hard to live up to your OWN standards! I'm sure you're doing great. This isn't easy.

 

Please do not feel bad about yourself. It is difficult to raise two children who are the same age, to be well-behaved without getting frustrated, when at this age, they are only concerned with pleasing themselves. It can get very frustrating when you feel as if all you are doing is repeating the same things day in and day out. But you have to believe that it is or will sink in at some point. I try to think of it as teaching rather than discipline (e.g. I want them to learn how to share; I want them to learn to empathize, etc.). As PPs have said, putting a timer on toys that are in hot demand usually stops most squabbles. If that fails however, I will put the toy away and encourage them to play with something else. I hope for all of our sakes that it eventually gets better. :lol: GL!

 

I have those days as well and they do get better! :grouphug: I have to agree that when my turned it really clicked with them. They now know they have to take turns and I don't set a timer I just say you have 5 mimnutes and then remind them at 3 minutes and then at 1 minute. They finally get it! Does it always work without a fight? No, but there are far fewer tantrums and I've caught them saying "okay it's your turn".
Good luck!

 

Thanks for the replies! The timer does sound like a good suggestion so I will definitely try that. It's funny after I posted this morning they have been complete angels today and are sharing so nicely.

 

If you use time outs for your kids, I found that if my kiddos continued to fight over a toy after doing a timer and a count down, I would take the toy and put IT in time out. They usually then just moved onto something else and I didn't have to punish one or figure out who had the toy first, etc.

 

I had to reply - when I looked at your post and then looked at your LOs' birthday - your kids are only 4 days older than mine!

I put toys in time out like PP suggested, but it's gotten to the point where THEY are putting toys in time out, just to tick the other one off! If they both want a toy and I say they have to share it, the one holding it will take it to the gate I have by my laundry room (cat litter box in there so it keeps the kids out) and chuck it in, saying "now it's in time out." Have I been outsmarted?

This is SUCH a tough age...I came on because I was about to lose my mind (can't get anything done at all today without them getting into something!), and not to smile at your misery, but it felt good to read your post and hear that I'm not the only one that feels like a crappy mom once in a while. I know I have wonderful kids who actually share very well when they're with OTHER kids, but when we're here alone, I feel like all H*## breaks loose! Hope you have a better day tomorrow!

 

I have definitely been feeling the same way. I just feel like I can't get it all done. The kids are fighting, pushing their little brother because they don't want him to play with something, not coming to the dinner table, power struggles with EVERYTHING, telling us no all the time. IF I could watch them EVERY second of the day I could maybe do more with time outs and everything. How am I supposed to cook, clean, do laundry, etc... I have been sick for 3 1/2 weeks and my husband just got home after being gone for 2 weeks. Apparently I just can't do anything right because last night he went off on me saying I don't punish the kids or the dog or whatever. I DO trust me. We've been working hard core on time outs and not hitting, etc... but I can't get dinner on the table and laundry and everything else done when I'm sitting with them 24/7. The minute I turn my back something happens and someone is screaming. I am feeling so overwhelmed and like I just can't hack it. Like I suck as a mom. It really broke my heart last night to hear my DH say that because he was gone for 2 freakin weeks while I have had zero break and been sick and dealing with sick kids - so sorry that you came back home to a loud house. We have 3 toddlers. Sorry to vent on your post. LOL It was a bad night last night and I was actually going to write a crappy mom post today too. LOL Hopefully it's the age because things HAVE to get better!