Feeling guilty

I love my babies so much and feel so protective of them. I feel like I'm letting them down if I don't soothe them when they're crying even after they're fed and diapered. But, I equally love DH and my 4 yr-old and it's tough trying to keep everyone happy.

Lately, in order to get anything done, I let each or both twin cry in their crib or playpen for an hour + a day. It kills me to do this. For some reason they are crankier now than they've been since birth. They've both been evaluated by pedi GIs and ENTs and have just minor issues that medication is treating.

They have every contraption from swings to jumperoos to exersaucers and sometimes they just don't work.

I just don't want to live in a pigpen, and the constant crying is taking a toll on me and my 4-yr old so sometimes I shut the door to their room while they are screaming like this. Am I a terrible mother?

 

No you are not horrible. 5 1/2 - 6 months was our turning point. THey started to interact with their toys so much more and became interested in things around them. I would just make sure to have plenty of toys for them to hold and shake. If you put them in chairs, will they watch your 4 year old play? I hope things get easier to soon.

 

Awww Meighan...no you aren't a terrible mother!! :hug99: If you are feeling overwhelmed, sometimes the best thing you can do is put them in a safe place and shut the door. I am sorry you are having such a rough time. Honestly for the first 6 months, Jake screamed everyday all day it seemed like, and it was hard.

Have you tried getting out more? I think that babies get bored, and mine are always pretty good when we are out. Even if you really don't have anything to do, go to the park, go walk around Target, anything to have a change of scenery.

Are they taking regular naps yet? Sleeping through?

:hug99:s, being a mom of twins is certainly not easy, and when you have another child or more, as well, it does get overwhelming sometimes. Hang in there momma, things will get better, and in the mean time, know that we are listening. :hug99:

 

It's tough trying to get things done when you've got babies, a toddler and a hubby. I have an 8 month old and a 7 year old AND I'm pregnant with twins. Just getting five minutes to throw dishes in the dishwasher is miracle around here!

First, don't feel bad! As long as they're fed and diapered and you know nothing is wrong, they'll be fine! Sometimes, I stick the baby in the high chair with something to chew or snack on so he can see me while I'm cleaning up. He's perfectly content, and I always make sure he gets a couple hours just crawling around on the floor with me during the day.

Just remember that some days, the house can wait. They're only little once, and this is the time when they really start to discover and interact. It's SO much fun!

 

Oh, I SO feel for you! Everyone kept telling me that 6-8 weeks was the hardest part. HA! that was nothing compared to 4-6 months. That was the hardest time so far, and I felt like there was just SO much crying that I must be doing something wrong (and I did not have a 4yr old to take care of as well). I think that phase was all about just surviving. I know you love your babies, but whatever you need to do to get through this time is just what you have to do.

Here are a few things I did to save my sanity: put them in swings/bouncies and vaccuum (for a long time). The noise seemed to calm them. Get out in the late afternoon and run errands. Like Becky said, even if you don't need to, even getting them out and going to Target seemed to distract them just enough. A long car ride to the ocean (or somewhere else peaceful). They'd fall asleep on the way down and then we'd hang out, I'd take a few deep breaths and catch up on some phone calls while watching the waves. It really does get easier though! 6mo was a huge turning point for us, so hang in there and don't beat yourself up--taking care of infant twins is a HARD job. :hug99:

 

You are not alone and NOT a terrible mother! I've been feeling frustrated, too! In fact, just this afternoon, both of my little guys were screaming, for no apparent reason. I tried everything...nothing worked. I think they must have cried for an hour straight. I was ready to tear my hair out. I tried to remember something I read on TS a while ago about 4-6 months being the hardest...it certainly is for us so far!

I hope things get better soon! You are a wonderful mother and sounds like you have your hands full!

 

We had a ton of crying this morning and it ended up being something as simple as a clothing tag. I agree about getting them out of the house. I feed all the kids first thing, then they kind of chill out for an hour or two. I then tank them up on food and get out of the house. If we stay at home it is constant crying. If we are in a busy, fluorescent lit place the will konk out. What is that about? NOBODY can judge us for what we do to survive having twins. With one baby you could wear them in a sling and they'd probably be happy. With two you don't have that option and having another older child makes it even harder.

 

You ladies are all so sweet...thank you for taking the time to offer such great suggestions. I really like the idea of taking them out, I tend to stay home with them & only get out when someone watches them. Also just appreciating them while they're young, it really does fly. You moms are the best! :hug99:

 

:hug99: You've gotten some good suggestions; we're going through a hard month too. Sometimes I put a CD on and sing at the top of my lungs and they tend to calm down (or are shocked to quiet by my terrible singing, I don't know which!) Or I put one in the sling and carry her around for awhile. That way I cut my guilt in half (as the other one is crying).
I tell myself they won't remember it and my oldest turned out great, so there you go. I think we all have those days and the bottom line is your kids are healthy and loved and that's all any of us really need!