Feeling guilty about stopping breastfeeding and WORRIED

Feeling really guilty stopped giving breastmilk to the boys due to needing to take medications for my sanity- Concerta and Ativan. Boys both got sick. Would they have gotten sick, or so sick if they were still getting breastmilk? I'm feeling guilty because many people said I could still breastfeed, but their pediatrician and my Psychiatrist said NO with those drugs. My anxiety was getting so bad- crying and not able to pick them up due to worry... we determined it was a necessity. BUt now, I can't get over the guilt.... I just stopped completely 2 weeks ago

Boys are 13 weeks old, they got sick their very first week at daycare

Alexander is OK, but Nikola has spent the entire weekend in and out of the emergency room. I got a call at 3:30 p.m. on Friday from the daycare lady saying she didn't like how Nikola was breathing. Picked him up, went straight to pediatrics who sent him over to the ER. They did breathing treatments and took X-rays and did tests for flu and RSV \

Husband was worried about Alexander so took him to ER on Friday night too, they sent him to urgent care but her was OK... they joined us to keep us company in the ER...

For Nikola they saw something which they thought might be some viral pneumonia on the X-ray. He was diagnosed with bronchiolitis? Have to give albuterol nebulizer every 4 hours...

Then Sunday morning at 3:30 a.m.I woke up because I heard Nikola gasping for breath, back to the Er. another treatment of the magic stuff that albuterol didn't fix...

So my mother took him to dr. today, who said can start spacing out treatments to every 6 hours then every 8 hours tomorrow if he is doing better. Thank goodness for my mother, I just got back to work, I don't know what we would do if she wasn't helping....

so it turns out it wasn't RSV or the flu, cultures are still pending. I am still worried about Nikola but they say he is doing OK right now...

Alexander only was congested and stuffy. Why did Nikola get so very, very sick from a cold? Will he get this sick again?

I am wondering and worrying, if Nikola got this sick from a cold, how sick would he get if he caught the flu or RSV?

 

First off, EVERY child gets sick in day care. There are so many germs and it's impossible to keep them away. Think of the germs one baby with an older sibling could bring into the room, then multiply it. I've worked in day cares and elementary schools and if I was away for a year or so, my first year back was horrible! I got sick all the time b/c my body wasn't used to the germs. It was always better after I'd been exposed to them for a while. You're boys will get sick, but every time should be a little better. I'm so sorry you've had to have so many ER visits in so few days! It's so scary when you feel helpless and all you want to do is protect and help your child. I don't know much about the breast feeding aspects, b/c I wasn't able to produce much, but my boys were formula fed and bf from the start (more formula than bf) and they didn't get their first cold until they were 6 months and it was very mild. On the other hand, they didn't have much contact exposure from anyone other than family. Anyway, this is my long way of saying you didn't do anything wrong. You are actually doing more for those babies by staying healthy mentally than you can imagine. They need you at your best.

 

QUOTE(desolation_anonymous @ Feb 2 2009, 05:41 PM) [snapback]1173337[/snapback]
Would they have gotten sick, or so sick if they were still getting breastmilk? I'm feeling guilty because many people said I could still breastfeed,

Most likely yes. Don't beat yourself up over taking care of yourself.

Bronchiolitis is commonly caused by RSV or other cold viruses, so what you are dealing with is just like RSV, even if it isn't that exact virus.

I hope they are feeling better soon. :hug:

 

We have been dealing with Bronchilolitis here for the last week, and I definitely feel your pain. It is so hard to have to listen to your LO's struggle to breath.

I think the best thing you can give your boys is a happy mommy, and if that means that you have to quit BF so you can take your medications so be it. :hug:

I really hope they are feeling better soon! :hug:

 

QUOTE(Kyrstyn @ Feb 2 2009, 11:13 PM) [snapback]1173370[/snapback]
We have been dealing with Bronchilolitis here for the last week, and I definitely feel your pain.


We had that last year and it was so hard. Having to put small babies on a nebulizer is no fun. But I agree with the others, taking care of yourself needs to be a priority as well. I hope they get better soon. :hug:

 

There's definitely a good chance they would have gotten sick anyway :hug:. You should give yourself a big pat on the back for taking care of yourself! Caring for yourself ultimately makes you a better mother. WTG :clapping:.

 

Oh, don't beat yourself up! :hug: It is NOT your fault that they're sick. They're just getting exposed to lots of new germs, that's all.

I hope the babies feel better (and stay better!) soon - and that YOU do too! I hope the meds will help calm down the anxiety. You deserve to feel your best. :hug:

 

I just want you to know both our children got RSV when they were a few months old and exclusively breastfed. Don't add more stress and guilt to yourself....your babies need their mom to be happy and healthy too. take care of your self and your precious babies. GL

 

:hug: Please don't beat yourself up, you did what was best for you and the babies. Whether or not you were breast or formula feeding, daycares are notorious for germs, unfortunately. I am sorry that you have to go through all of this and the kiddos have had to go in and out of the ER. I hope they make a speedy recovery! You are doing a great job, Momma!

 

agree with everyone here...don't beat yourself up over this. Being in daycare no matter if they are breastfed or not...they are bound to get sick. And probably sick very often. My daughter got sick with RSV and bronchiolitis at 5 1/2 weeks old that landed her in the hospital for two days from me. Yes....me. I was breastfeeding her and let me tell you she breastfed like a champ. I think no matter what she would of gotten sick because it was such a nasty virus. Please don't blame yourself for this....it can happen to anyone. One thing that i found that helps at night...run the humidifier and let your son sleep in the bouncer next to your bed. This will help a lot. Also, using saline nose spray for children with the suction thing for their nose quite frequently will help too. Hopefully he feels better soon.

Just thought i would add that i breastfed my son to 10 months (2 weeks longer than my daughter) and he was sick allllll the time. Even with breastmilk he was still constantly sick. Come to find out he is immune deficient....go figure.

 

I vote for the 'it has nothing to do with the fact that you quit breast feeding'! My DD is exclusively BF and is currently on her 4th cold in her 6.5 months of life! (and I am a total germophobe to boot!) Sounds like you are doing a great job taking care of your whole family!

 

You'll never know if they would have gotten sick if you'd still been BF'ing so there is no point in worrying over it! You have to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your babies. I am so sorry that you have had to bring both babies to the ER recently, I'm sure that is so tough on both you and the babies! :hug: I sincerely hope they are better soon and I hope you are feeling better too with the new medication. :hug:

 

QUOTE(desolation_anonymous @ Feb 2 2009, 05:41 PM) [snapback]1173337[/snapback]
Would they have gotten sick, or so sick if they were still getting breastmilk?

in a word: yes. in two words: yes, absolutely.

my boys got sick that very first week. at that point they were on 90% breastmilk/10% formula (my body just wouldn't get with the program and didn't produce enough). they had mostly breastmilk from the day they were born up until i had to make the difficult decision to wean and go exclusively on formula at 3 months. they got sick twice during that 3 months. interestingly, they haven't been sick once since i transitioned (knock on wood, although colds happen so i'm sure we'll fight more).

the problem, as i've said before, is that the "breast is best" campaign has convinced mothers that they're actually harming their babies if they formula feed. but that's not the case at all. the opposite of best is not bad. it's not like breast = best, so formula = bad. the truth is that breast is best, and formula is good, too.

a generation or two ago breastfeeding was totally out of vogue. ask around the people in your parents' or grandparents' age group and you'll find oodles of people who were formula fed (and formula has come a long way since then!). my point is, there are millions of strong, vibrant, healthy, intelligent people walking this earth who were raised on formula.

breastfeeding is important, yes. but not so important that you should beat yourself up over the inevitable sniffles that your babies will occasionally have as they grow up. it's an unfortunate dark side to the pro-breastfeeding campaign that those of us who formula feed end up feeling like we're failing as mothers.

be forgiving of yourself. there are a lot of things you can control in your life, viruses aren't one of them. you can do a lot to help keep your babies healthy, but sometimes colds happen. it doesn't make you less of a mother just because your babies got sick.

 

All babies get sick- He did NOT get sick because you stoped BF - All my neighbors BF for atleast 1 year and their children are the sickest (phemonia freguently, colds, flu and one has more allergies than you can count!) Even with them BF, they still and are still getting sick. Some children just don't find germs off well.

You are not a bad mother for stopping BF or working. I know it is scary - We had alot of issues with my 1 twin during her first year - I did not BF and they were 2 months early. They are 2 1/2 and hardly ever get sick.

take it one day at a time - keep up with the treatments and you and they will be fine.