Feeling frustrated

As you may know Im going through a tough patch with my twins. DS more so than DD. Both of them are teething, or so I believe, and DS isnt handling it very well coupled with the fact he is at the frustrated age when he wants to run before he can walk. He´s having some major tantrums.

As Im with them 24/7 (its the holidays) and alone in the mornings Im finding myself becoming quite frustrated with DS. I actually shouted at him yesterday as he wouldn´t stop screaming. Im also quite tired (he´s had a restless few nights but nothing bad) and we´ve had road works in the street which has my whole flat vibrating with the drilling. I actually got dizzy today from what I think is the tiredness.

I dont want to make excuses but I feel so horrible that Im sometimes ´mean´ to DS. It´s not his fault he´s so touchy these days but he is wearing me down. He screamed so much yesterday that I couldnt feed him and I put him in his cot and walked away. He knew I was upset but he calmed down and so did I. I feel like Im being a bad mother when I get frustrated and he knows it.

Does anyone else get like this? Please share if so. I guess I need to know I´m not alone with these feelings...

Thanks

 

Rachel it is a frustrating time when you and they are going on a little sleep, when they are in pain and there is not much you can do to help them. You did the best thing by walking away and collecting yourself. I have had to do the same thing several times and still do. Is there anyone nearby who can give you a break for an hour or so during the day? :youcandoit:

 

My boys are only 5 months and I have definitely been where you are at several times. You are so not alone!! I think sometimes it is better to walk a way for a minute. Also I know this may sound weird but my doctor told me a low dose of benadryl can help take the edge off.

 

Not alone, and as hard as I try to be sweet and nice and smile through their crying, I remember I lost it one day while they were in their high chairs screaming and I just started screaming back at them. I felt silly afterward bc they just looked at me like a crazy woman, then continued to scream at the top of their lungs.

 

i totally understand!!! thank you for your post, i felt like it was just me!

 

QUOTE(itsnancycozzi @ Apr 9 2009, 12:07 AM) [snapback]1264862[/snapback]
Rachel it is a frustrating time when you and they are going on a little sleep, when they are in pain and there is not much you can do to help them. You did the best thing by walking away and collecting yourself. I have had to do the same thing several times and still do. Is there anyone nearby who can give you a break for an hour or so during the day? :youcandoit:


I have help in the afternoons, believe it or not, as Im usually at work (I teach but Im just out for an hour or 2 at a time) which helps me a lot. As it is Easter holidays, Im home alone as the lady who helps is now on holiday as it is bank holiday here in Spain today & tomorrow. I have DH for the next 4 days and although he´s good he isn´t the help I´m used to as he doesn´t know the babies like I do plus I end up doing it all anyway!

I´m pretty sure 60% of DS´s behaviour is personality and frustration at not being able to do what he wants. At least DD is cooperating! LOL!

Thank you everyone for being so understanding. I just needed to know I´m not alone in this

 

I don't know why I just thought of this, but maybe you could teach him some baby sign language. It really helped my boys tell me what they wanted. They didn't really pick up on it until 11 months or so, but if you start now, he may learn faster b/c he is so frustrated. I started with "more" then "eat", "milk" (which is what I called formula), "help", and just recently "please" and "thank you". This site is my favorite for looking up words. I'm sure there are a ton of sites on philosophy and such.

 

No, you aren't alone Rachel. We all have a breaking point. It's good that you realized yours, put him in a safe place and walked away for a bit. I know I have been there, more than once! You are a good mom. :hug:

 

Girl I can't count the times....and my twins are just the opposite DD pushes my buttons more than DS she can really throw temper tantrums and I to have found my self shouting and I just make myself walk out and calm down as I feel so bad.....but it's hard when you are all alone 90% of the time until the past couple weeks that I've now been back to work I was the only one with them 24/7...and it does get tiring and frusterating...and my worst problem and is DD is a diva she wants what she wants and wants it now......and DS well he's very stubourn nothing fases him...and their biggest thing that gets me is they are obsessed with the TV and DVD player and no matter how many times I pull them away and tell them no they just keep going back and I do get frusterated....but what to you do? And DD is the kind that once she's mad she's mad and can scream 2-3 hours straight....yeah no fun....the only thing I can tell you is we all get there. And you just sometimes have to put them somewhere you know they are safe and walk out for a bit.....but you are not a bad mom you are just human......I had the same feelings you have early on when both of my babies were colicy I thought I was a bad mom ....but the ladies here helped me see that no I was just a mom.....

 

Thanks girls for your kind words. I feel better knowing Im not alone. Its hard work being a mum to twins!

Megan: thanks for your suggestion on sign language, Im going to look into it.

We had a much better day today with DS so Im hoping it continues.

 

I totally understand you are not alone. It is hard work. You did the right thing by laying him down. My doc always says it is better to put them in their cribs and have them cry cuz they are mad instead of them crying cuz they are hurt. This gives you time to re-collect your self.

HUGS to YOU

 

What you are going through is totally understandable. It is extremely challenging to be the primary caretaker of your children --- and even more challenging when they are going through something like teething.

Maybe you can find a way to burn off some steam and therefore help you handle the stress of the teething! Of course I know finding the time for something else can be nearly impossible with two little ones, but even if you are able to take a walk around the block before your husband leaves or maybe if you can hire a babysitter for an hour once or twice a week?!? That way you are still able to be there for your children, but also give yourself a little break!

Best of luck to you...you did the right thing by giving yourself and your DS a little space.

I'll be thinking of you! Just write when you need to

 

QUOTE(mommymeg @ Apr 9 2009, 06:25 AM) [snapback]1265485[/snapback]
I don't know why I just thought of this, but maybe you could teach him some baby sign language. It really helped my boys tell me what they wanted. They didn't really pick up on it until 11 months or so, but if you start now, he may learn faster b/c he is so frustrated. I started with "more" then "eat", "milk" (which is what I called formula), "help", and just recently "please" and "thank you". This site is my favorite for looking up words. I'm sure there are a ton of sites on philosophy and such.




This site is amaAAAAAAAAAzing! Thanks so much for sharing, I want to try sign language with my little ones