feeding schedule

My boys are 8 weeks (2 weeks adjusted) and are feeding every 4 hours (I bottle-feed). During the day, they wake up right at every 4 hours, but overnight they may go 3.5, they may go 5, which means I'm feeding them at different times every night. For example, one day's feedings may be 6am, 10am, 2pm, 6pm, 10pm, but then overnight they may sleep until 3am, which means the next day's feedings would be: 3am, 7am, 11am, 3pm, 7pm, 11pm. I hope that makes sense. I am a "routine" kind of person - I like schedules, can be a little OCD - so the fact that they eat at a different time every day is driving me crazy! I can't plan anything b/c I never know when they're going to eat. I love when they sleep 5 hrs overnight so I definitely don't want to wake them up after 4 hrs if they're sleeping well but then my whole day is messed up the next day. They never go 5 hours between feedings during the day, it's always 4 - should I be trying to stretch daytime feedings to 5??? They're are currently eating 5-5.5 oz at each feeding.

I go back to work in 2 weeks so I'm really worried about 1) the fact that they're only going 4 hrs between feedings (when am I going to sleep??) and 2) the fact that the sitter is going to have a different feeding schedule every day, based on how they did overnight. That's going to drive her nuts, since she has other kids she has to care for and they're all on a schedule b/c they're all older than mine.

I'm really stressing about all of this. I feel so lost. I am trying really hard to do this right, but I feel like all I'm doing is messing everything up. I really thought I was more prepared for motherhood. It's so much harder than I ever imagined. I feel like I need a "Parenting for Dummies" book. Everyone wants to give me unwanted/unnecessary advice, but then when I really need their help they have no suggestions. As a result, I end up taking it out on my husband b/c I feel defensive and alone. Ugggghhhh.....

 

you are doing great and are NOT messing everything up! feeding twinfants is very challenging! things will get easier and you will get more comfortable being a mom before you know it! motherhood it a HARD job, and being a mother to twins is more than twice as hard! my DH bore the brunt of my frustrations in the early days too.. but try to remember that they are just as freaked out by being a dad as you are being a mom. it is scary stuff to be responsible for 2 little lives! TS is the greatest place in the world to get real advice and support when you are feeling lost, scared and confused.

i am also a big schedule person so i can relate to your need to want to do things at the same time everyday. the only suggestion i have for you is to let them eat whenever they want during the night and then have a set wake up time when they will have their first bottle of the day. even if it is only 1-3 hours after they have had their last bottle, this will reset the schedule for the day. they may not finish the whole bottle, or they may suprise you and polish it off! but either way, you will be able to have them on a consistent feeding schedule during the day, and let them do their own thing at night so you can get as much sleep as possible.

it sounds like they are eating a great amount, but i really wouldn't try to stretch their feeding times out during the day, even at 9.5 months old, my twinks can't go more than 4 hours between meals. their tummies are just too tiny..

and i promise, it will get easier!!!!

 

when they were that little we had to let each day do its own thing. we kept a whiteboard and we would write down the first feeding of the day and schedule out when we could anticipate the next feedings. we knew it would shift a little overnight and just had to accommodate that.

take a deep breath.

they're very little right now. i went back to work at 10 weeks (4 weeks adjusted) and we were in the same boat. you're just going to have to roll with it for a while. in my opinion they're too little to stretch to 5 hours. i wouldn't force hunger on them just to accommodate your need for routine. your only mandate (and thus your babysitter) is to keep them safe and feed them when they're hungry. if that's at 6, 10, 2 and 6 one day and 3, 7, 11 and 3 the next, that's just how it's going to be for a couple of months.

it's a very short period of your life and it'll be gone faster than you can imagine. the lack of sleep is hard. i know exactly what you're nervous about because we did it, too. but ultimately i think you'll find life less stressful if you figure out how to accommodate their needs instead of trying to make them accommodate yours.

i'm totally type A myself. it's a tough transition, i know!

 

First of all, :hug: . You are not messing everything up. You are being a loving mother of twins, who happens to need some sleep, that's totally normal. I think most all of our husbands would say that we were not the easiest to get along with in those early months. You are TIRED. So, give yourself a break, okay? :hug:

As for the schedule, you could try what pp suggested. Just let them eat when they wake up at night, then try to have a set time in the morning that you are going to start their 4 hour feeding schedule. I wouldn't try to stretch it to more than 4 hours, at that age I'm surprised you are getting 4 hours, mine were eating every 3 until much older than that! It's worth a try to get them on a schedule, but they are young so don't be surprised if it has to be adjusted often. Babies that age are notoriously difficult to schedule!

 

As I mentioned in another post here today, I put my boys on a 3 hour schedule during the day for feedings so they'd get more calories during the day, and be able to go longer at night without eating. My ped gave us the suggestion to start this when they were about your boys age, and they did start sleeping more at night.

I agree, the lack of schedule during the first few months was crazy-making! But this will not last forever, even if it feels like it right now!

Talk to your ped and see if he/she recommends trying to get more food into them during the day and letting them go longer at night. They might be ready. And make your caregiver stick to *your* schedule, not theirs! Preemies need special care, and the caregiver needs to accommodate their needs. My first nanny once let Jack go **6 hours** without a feed at 2 months old because she said he wasn't hungry and she was trying to space out their feedings to make it easier on her. Needless to say she's not our nanny any more.

My boys started to STTN at about 4 months, and have been pretty consistent about sleep/wake times since then. You are very close to being able to get them on a good schedule so take heart! You're doing great and your boys are going to be fine!

 

You have great eaters, giving that they are so young. Mine just recently started to eat every 3.5 - 4 hours during the day and night. It's a miracle if they go for 5 hours during the night What I would suggest is to feed them at 6am, even if they ate at 3am, so you can keep the schedule for the day. You can give it a try and see if it works. I don't know if it's a good advice, it's what I'm trying to do here. Mine ate at 4:30 - 5am and I fed them at 8am so I can give them their last bottle before bed at 8pm.
Hope you find the right feeding schedule for them soon. For us was feeding on demand at that age and they never went more than 3 hours. They were only 2 weeks early.

 

I agree with what others have said about feeding the same time every morning...I Breastfeed at night and do a combination of bottles during the day...I let my babies wake up whenever they want at night right now. (Which was crazy last night!)

I consider everything before 730 am nighttime feedings, and then every day we get up at the same time and start the schedule...if they just ate before that, I just consider it part of the nighttime, and begin the day as we normally would. This helps in keeping somewhat of a schedule.

You are doing great! Hang in there!

 

Well, I tried to reply earlier but it didn't work so I'll try again! Thank you all for your suggestions - I'm going to try starting each day at the same time - that's a great idea and I'm *hoping* it will work. I know we will have to adjust a little sometimes, but hopefully it will allow us to be on somewhat of a schedule during the day.

 

:hug: Thank you for posting this question. We are going through the same thing. My twins are eating every 3 hours during the day, and at night they will go anywhere from 3 to 5 hours, which like you said, never gives a consistant schedule for the day. Good to know I am not alone :wub: . And thanks to those who responded. That is a great idea to keep a regular schedule during the day no matter what time they were last up at night. I just might have to give this a try myself .

 

This is what worked for us, since setting the wakeup time at 7.30 our feeds are almost always 8,11,2,5 and then a nightfeed sometime inbetween 2 and 4 unless they take a very long nap. For months i would just let them wake as and when and then set the schedule based on whatever time we got up and the feed times were here there and everywhere and as a routine person it stressed me out too. I really think youb are on the right track..let them eat when they want at night and set the wake up time. You are doing a very good job by the sounds of things!!! :hug: