Family

My DH has a cousin whose baby is turning 1 year old and they're having a party. Granted, the party is 3 hours away and we have nowhere to stay when we get there. So, needless to say, we had to decline and my DH got a total guilt trip over the fact that we're not going...I was shocked. Now, when we were still pregnant, we decided that we weren't going to travel with the babies until the winter was over because of them getting sick and it just being too hard to get out of our routine. Now we're being questioned as to why we're not going to drive 3 hours, stay at a party with a bunch of people and kids, and then drive 3 hours back (that's 3 hours with no traffic)? Not happening!!!

I'm just pissed because I don't feel that anyone should question decisions that we have made as parents. I also don't think that people realize how much more difficult it is with twins. If one get sick, the other one probably will too...oh yeah, and then I will and we'll all be sick! I am really going to try to avoid it when they're this young. Also, expecting us to make a trip like that with two newborns is ridiculous. Maybe we're different, but we wouldn't ask our family to make the trip for anything if they couldn't. We know how hard it can be...where is the respect? Sorry...had to vent! Thanks!

 

:hug: So sorry you are being made to feel guilty. But hello tell them to drive three hours with newborns, I think not! People on the outside often have strong opions with nothing back them up. You are mommy and you know best!

 

RSV Season. Educate your family and maybe they will understand?

 

Having twins is stressful enough without getting even more of it from a family member and I completely agree with you......most people have NO idea what reality is like caring for twins!

 

Totally agree with you, and would not have gone either. The bday child will not remember anyway. I sometimes didn't go to parties here in town during cold season. My parents live 90 minutes away and I think we only drove out there about twice in the first 18 months. They just always came to us while the babies were small--they knew it was a lot easier for them to travel than for us.

I'm sorry you're being guilted. You certainly don't have anything to feel guilty about.

 

Ummm, even if someone did not have twins or even 1 baby, I wouldn't expect a cousin to drive 6 hours total for a b'day party. That's crazy!!

 

I just had the same experience!

Hub's grandmother [who he was not close to] was in the hospital. FIL wanted us to drive all the way to Arizona to "show the twins off" in case this was "the last time we'd see her." I KNEW in my heart it was NOT a good idea, but Hub's grandmother was dying---was I going to be the wife that refused? I wanted to be supportive, so we packed up the kids and went.

Ugghhhhh...worst idea EVER! I sooooo wish we hadn't taken them. I wish I had put my foot down and said that it wasn't good for the kids [5.5 months at the time] to be in a car for that long!

Long story short, do what's best for your family and your kids...who can ever argue with that?

 

Um, as if "I have 8 weeks old TWINS" shouldn't be enough a clue to them that you're not going anywhere! People are unreasonable, do what's best for your family.

I just offended my MIL because I told her I wasn't going to come visit with the kids, but that she was welcome to come out to visit us. It would cost us $1500 in plane tickets to see her, not to mention the hassle of airports and planes and packing car seats and staying in an unfamiliar environment. She's ONE person, if she wants to see the babies, she's welcome to make the effort. Sometimes I think she's just so self-absorbed she doesn't even process the inconvenience.

 

Some people have traveled with little itty bitties that young further distances but I personally couldn't have done it. We didn't go to my brother's wedding on Thanksgiving day last year because they were just 7 weeks it was "cold" at that time and it was an all day event then dinner at my parents. My brother was mad but oh well the health and well being of my kids come first.

 

QUOTE(Bridgett @ Oct 14 2008, 12:18 PM) [snapback]1025706[/snapback]
Ummm, even if someone did not have twins or even 1 baby, I wouldn't expect a cousin to drive 6 hours total for a b'day party. That's crazy!!


My thoughts exactly!! Do what is best for you and your family.

I have already told DH that we will NOT be spending the night at his parents home on Thanksgiving weekend this year with our 4 month old girls. They live an hour and fifteen minutes from us so about half the time (before the babies were born) we would spend the night when we would go visit them. With a 7 year old and 3 year old it was already alot of hassle to pack bags for just a night or two. My MIL has tried to get us to stay a few times already since the babies were born but I just don't feel up to it. She often tells me that it will be just as hard/I'll be up just as much at night at her house as I would at home so it wouldn't matter and that she could help in the middle of the night anyway if we came. Don't get me wrong, I really love my MIL and we get along great but I don't see it as being just the same or easier. I breastfeed exclusively so no help there and I'm much more comfortable at home walking around in my underwear/robe, breastfeeding out in the open and if I can't sleep being able to go anywere in the house I need too. It's just different.

If they're so adamant that you attend, why don't you tell them all to drive 3 hours your way and have the party where you are!!! :lol: