Family coming to stay after birth

Believe me, I am so grateful that so many family members want to come stay to help us after the birth of our twins, but I am feeling a little overwhelmed. I am a bit controlling when it comes to my kids, which may have something to do with my anxiety. How did/will your family members be helping? A few thoughts I had are:
1. Grocery shopping
2. cooking
3. Diapering
4. playing with older DS
5. Doing baby laundry (DH has already said that my parents will not be washing his undies - ha ha!)

What else? Are there things I can do in advance so that their time with us is most effective? Am I the only one to feel overwhelmed by so much "help"?

 

Set time limits on how long they can stay might help. My mom was a lot of help but I had almost no help from then h as he had to return to his training school(military). She got up at every feeding with me and helped me feed , change and get them back to sleep.

 

I had several family members help for the first 7 weeks. My DH, mom and sister were the biggest helpers and they did laundry, fed babies (I BF'd and supplemented), burped babies, changed diapers, cooked and cleaned. My MIL was less help and really only helped with the babies and made a few (very elaborate) dinners. In the end, I was happy to see everyone go and I finally figured out how to manage on my own.

 

Definitely with cooking!! And if you are comfortable with laundry. I also had to supplement my babies, and my mom, sisters and MIL all took turns helping over the night hours. I really didn't get a break, but dh did! Because when they were gone guess who had to do the second baby???!!! Yup, dh did. Otherwise I would've been up every hour of the night. My MIL even slept on the nursery floor so she could hear them better, and she would often try non-feeding methods to soothe them back to sleep so I could get a bit more rest before another feeding. But all of this depends on the relatives. Just be firm about what is helpful and about your own methods. Don't let anyone persuade you to try something you aren't comfortable with regarding the babies!

 

Cooking, even batch cooking so some meals can go in the freezer to use after they leave.
Laundry
General cleaning
Night feeds if possible (take full advantage of anyone who is willing to get up to do a night feed!)
Watching your older child while you take a nap during the day
Taking your older child to the park etc. so he/she doesn't get cabin fever
Watching/holding the babies so you can do things with your older child

Having extra hands around will be a big help.

 

:good: Definitely these plus:

Other non-regular cleaning ie. washing windows...the stuff you only get to once in a while.

 

I regret not using my help wisely. Sure they helped with the babies and cleaned some and just kept things some what straight. However I was offered to go nap a few hours while they watched the babies but no I didnt want to nap during the day. I regret that but oh well. Ya live and learn. But def get help cooking meals or bringing meals, laundry, errands and allowing you to take a nap

 

I agree with Staton and had a similar experience - go and nap when offered the chance!!! My in-laws would come by in the evening to help and that was when my DH came home from work so at first I didn't want to nap because I wanted to spend time with him. Bad idea!! Your hubby ain't going nowhere (hopefully) and eventually there will be time for you two to spend together again. Nap at every available opportunity. In the end I learned to nap in the evenings when my in-laws were there and it resulted in a much happier Mommy. Especially because I was on my own during the nights (DH was up until midnight with the girls and then I had them from then on) having 5-6 hours of sleep before the graveyard shift made all the difference in the world. I also didn't make one meal for the first two months because my MIL brought over meals that she put in the freezer. It was great. My mother did the laundry and cleaning in addition to helping with feedings during the day for the first two months. Amazing. I never had anyone help with the night feeds because I felt guilty enough for getting so much help in other areas. But getting that help everywhere else made the night feeds much easier on me (see above)! Giving up control can be tough but I was used to it by the time the babies arrived because I had been on bedrest for two months prior and had to learn to deal with having everything done for me. Being specific about exactly what kind of help you need from people and when will help you as well because it still affords you some control. Good luck!!

 

My mom came to stay for the first week both times. She was great. She mostly did laundry, cleaned and cooked. I appreciated it so much that she did not try to take over the baby and then babies. She would help if I asked but I didn't just assume.