Falling into a Schedule vs. Setting a Schedule

Everyone has an opinion about schedules and which philosophy to follow. I hear it regularly---How often do your babies eat? Do they go down for two naps a day yet...and are they in their cribs? What are they sleeping like? These are all great questions. I own all the popular books on schedules--HSHHC, Baby Whisperer, No Sleep Solution, etc...--and I don't follow any of them! In fact, I don't follow any schedules. I feed on demand, I let the babies nap whereever, whenever...at night we put them in their cribs after their last bottle. I spoke to a twin Mom the other day about this and she said I'm crazy, how do I not have them on a schedule for sanity sake! My pediatrician says, "Eh, don't worry about it?! I'm so confused...the thing is, I go out a LOT and I take the babies EVERYWHERE with me...for good or bad...we're always out and about for an hour or two each day. I go nuts sitting at home. I don't want to be a slave to their naps. I told this to pedi and he said you don't have to be...but I know from reading these books that I have to have some guidelines too. Sigh.

My babies haven't "fallen into" any set pattern yet and I know they're still young. Any advice here...I'm stressed about this. Of course I want to do right by my babies, but I like how things are now!!! And I don't find that feeding on demand, sleeping whevever, whenever drives me crazy....

 

I am not really a schedule type person either but I think it's making my life a little harder now with 3 little one's. I do feed my babies about every 3 hours during the day and once at night but it's not on a specific time schedule. Basically when they wake up we start the schedule for the day. They do take an am and pm nap but not really at specified times. We do have a strict bedtime of 7pm and they are really good at going to sleep. With that said I do think I would like a more predictable timetable so I would know when we could go out and be home for naps.

Since these are my 2-3rd babies I do know how important it is to establish good sleeping habits for later on. Right now yours may sleep anywhere but the older they get the harder that is going to become and it is good to have them used to being in their own space to sleep. I would like to hear from some moms who do have a strict schedule and how they went about getting it established. I think this is a great topic...

 

I wouldn't worry- if things are working for you then that's all that matters. For me getting onto a schedule (which didn't happen until about 5 months) was a big help but that's just me. I am a firm believer in doing whatever works for you! Good luck and try not to stress!!

 

Hi-I don't have much of a schedule besides feeding. Our twins were in the NICU for 3 weeks, so I just kept feeding every 3 hours at home. But if they are sound a sleep, and I have some flexible time, I don't wake them up at exactly 3 hours. They usually wake themselves up fairly soon when they are hungry. Mine have been sleeping wherever I can get them to sleep (pnp, swing, bouncy chair, etc). I just ordered a crib and I'm going to try and start night sleeping in the crib. I'm not sure about naps in the crib yet. I do try to make sure they take a nap in between almost every feeding. If they don't nap between one set of feedings, then I swaddle them and make sure they nap during the next break time. I try to have a fairly consistent night time routine, and they do sleep at night. I just wish they would sleep longer so Mommy can sleep longer!
This week, they are just starting to sleep through a night feed (yay). I guess I have a loose schedule, but not a rigid one. I was reading about the eat/play/sleep routine and may give it a try. Right now if they fall asleep after eating, I don't wake them to play. I just let them sleep and play with them when they wake up. Isn't it confusing to get and read all of the different schedule strategies? I try to gather a lot of info, but then try it out and see what makes sense for our family. I don't believe in one answer for every situation.

I wish we could get out more, but I find it a bit overwhelming right now (I'm usually a really active 'on the go' person). Plus our pediatrician recommended keeping them out of public places because they are preemies are more likely to get rsv or flu, etc. We went for a walk yesterday as the weather has been nice and warm in the afternoon (we're in LA, too).

b/g twins, 11 weeks, 7 weeks adjusted

 

I don't have a schedule, more a routine... I know when they're due to be fed, more or less one hour, and I know they need to go for a nap 2.5 hours after waking up, more or less 15 minutes. And that's about it. At bedtime, they go to bed when they look tired.

I used to follow a stricter routine and it went out of the window at 4 months... and I think we're all much happier now. They only nap 45 minutes? No problem. They'll just go to bed after 2.5 hours. If they wake up from their third nap at 6pm, no problem, they'll go to bed at 8pm instead of 7pm.

It just works better for us.

 

QUOTE(Fran27 @ Nov 6 2008, 07:29 PM) [snapback]1059965[/snapback]
I don't have a schedule, more a routine... I know when they're due to be fed, more or less one hour, and I know they need to go for a nap 2.5 hours after waking up, more or less 15 minutes. And that's about it. At bedtime, they go to bed when they look tired.

I used to follow a stricter routine and it went out of the window at 4 months... and I think we're all much happier now. They only nap 45 minutes? No problem. They'll just go to bed after 2.5 hours. If they wake up from their third nap at 6pm, no problem, they'll go to bed at 8pm instead of 7pm.

It just works better for us.



this sounds doable to me a routine...ahh, not as stressful

 

at that age we had no schedule, either. i am also out and about all the time (and i walk/jog for 60-90 mins/day, also). i didn't really start *looking* for a schedule until they started having some sleep issues, at about five months. we've gradually fallen into somewhat of a schedule, but we often have to break it for certain things..... i am finding, however, that if we don't get our afternoon naps at the right time, then evening sleep is a mess. so, we're trying to adjust that. in other words--you'll make a schedule when you need one!

best, jl

 

I am actually less stressed out by not having a schedule!! My girls actually put themselves on their own schedule at around 10-11 months, but up until then we were just kind of flying by the seat of our pants. It was fine though, and it worked for us. I let my babies sleep when they wanted to sleep and I fed them when they were hungry.

 

We didn't have any sort of routine until about 5 months or so, and the babies put themselves into that routine...I haven't followed any book or enforced anything. The only thing we did every day is put them to bed at the same time every night. This week we started daycare, and everything is out the window! We play it by their cues--feed when hungry, nap when tired, etc...but like previous posts, I know they'll be tired about 2 hours after waking up, and just follow that. We certainly don't have a set schedule--i.e., eating at specific times, napping, etc...

 

I let my babies come up with their own schedule. The only "nudging" I did was to feed both whenever one was hungry (instead of feeding separately), and put both down for sleep at the same time. For quite a long time they'd get tired after 90 min awake max, so that was predictable. And I knew they'd wake up hungry, so that was predictable. Their daily routine has changed quite a lot over time, but I've found that when I follow their cues, they come up with such a predictable "schedule" that you could almost set your watch by it - and that's without me doing anything!

As far as being out and about - I really wouldn't worry about it. Totally understand about going crazy if you're stuck at home! As long as your babies are getting some good naps (=not a 15 min doze in a moving car), I'm sure they're fine.

 

I just recently started a feeding schedule and a set bedtime. Up until then, I was feeding every 3 hours. They were waking up at different times every day, so it was hard to have a schedule. It was more of a routine. It seems as though they are getting up at 7am everyday now, minus the daylight savings time adjustment. That was a nightmare. I started feeding every 4 hours now too, so I go by that. Last bottle at 7pm, bedtime at 7:30pm. The naps are still all over the place. I do try to keep them up for 2 hours or so after their first bottle, hoping they'll sleep longer than 30 min. Sometimes, it works and sometimes not. I can't wait until they start having a long morning nap and a long afternoon nap. Until then, I go by their cues. I don't stress about it. They'll let us know when they are ready to be on a schedule. You have to do what works for you. I don't want to worry about not going somewhere because it's naptime. They can learn to nap in the car or in the stroller. I think it's good that you are out and about a lot. The babies will get used to it and will adjust their schedule to it.

 

Yeah...I do a routine (sounds so much less stressful, right?). I know that when the babies get up, they'll expect their bottles. Then we burp and get on the floor for some play time. My babies are very active during this play time, so they can only make it for about 90 minutes. Then they nap...when they get up, we start the whole routine over again. It gets kind of tough when one of my friends wants to do something b/c I can't give an exact time, but they babies are happy and we all know what to expect for the most part.

 

sounds like youre doing an awesome job and way relaxed and not stressed about it! thats so good! i think eventually they'll fall into a pattern on their own, and if theres not a problem why change things? dd is easy, naps anywhere, goes to bed at a good time, mostly sttn (just started doing this), and is overall a happy and pleasant baby! ds on the other NEEDS a schedule for naps/bed or he'd lose his mind. i think youre doing wonderful

 

Also think you're doing a wonderful job. I dont mind those books but in the end you have to do what is best for you. And the problem with all those books is that they can make yoiu doiubt yoiurself - and yoiu shouildnt!! I have always had a roiutine pretty much like the pps - i know when they need to eat and how long they can be up for so they roiughly eat and nap at the same time during the day. Its great yoiu get out so much and if it works for yoiu then stick to it! The only thing I was strict about was where they napped - always in their moses baskets to start and then in their cribs. `Keep it up super mum and stay relaxed! (this keyboiard is driving me mad!)

Just as a btw - I knew this mum who followed gina fords schedules to the latter. (dont know if yoiu gert her books in the staters) `anyway she was really anal aboiut everything and soooo stressed when she missed her nap by 10 mins or stupid things like that that it really wasn't worth the worry!

 

QUOTE(anicakes @ Nov 6 2008, 08:25 PM) [snapback]1060046[/snapback]
We didn't have any sort of routine until about 5 months or so, and the babies put themselves into that routine...I haven't followed any book or enforced anything. The only thing we did every day is put them to bed at the same time every night. This week we started daycare, and everything is out the window! We play it by their cues--feed when hungry, nap when tired, etc...but like previous posts, I know they'll be tired about 2 hours after waking up, and just follow that. We certainly don't have a set schedule--i.e., eating at specific times, napping, etc...


That's exactly what I do. I'm comfortable with being flexible, and my kids are happy with it. So, do what works for you and your family, and it sounds like you've found something that works for you.

Feeding on demand is great, especially if you're breastfeeding. There have definitely been studies done that show on the whole, women have better milk supply and so forth when you respond to their needs over putting them on a strict schedule, especially when the feedings are scheduled far apart. Ours started falling into a general routine around four or so months, and there's definitely give and take there, so not trying to be critical of schedulers here.

I think it's great that you're getting out and about at four months!

I agree with the previous commenter--don't let expert books make you doubt yourself. You know what's best for your babies and your family. So, yay, mama!

 

Ladies/Awesome Twin Mamas---Thank you so much for your advice and words! I'm definitely going to relax and just live life and enjoy these two wonderful jellybeans of mine by doing what we've been doing...! You gals are the best...

 

We do a routine too. However it seems to be changing . For a while it was eat/play/sleep. Now, at 4 mo., they're up for longer so we're falling into a eat/play/eat/sleep routine and it's leading to longer naps.

Most of my friends who did strict routines were bottle-feeders, which to me makes sense. They know their kiddos are getting a certain amt each feeding so they have a much better idea of when they'll be hungry next. Because I BF mine and sometimes they eat for 20 min and sometimes 5 min, I'm pretty sure they aren't getting a certain set amount of BM each time and so I'm more responsive to hunger (or potential hunger) cries.

Even when I pumped with my older daughter I had a more set routine, because I knew how much she was getting per feed.

 

Mine didnt get on a schedule until about 6 months. At that time everything was in 4 hour time slots around the clock. Feeding times: 7am 11am 3pm 7pm 11pm 3am. It lasted that way until just a few months ago. It was not my doing.. (well at first it was) But they stuck to the schedule.. Even to this day... Breakfast is around 7am. Lunch is 12 (Nap at 10) Snack at 3 dinner at 5 bed (with milk) at 7.

Dont feel bad about your babies not being on a schedule. Some dont schedule. It was just easier for me to remember who ate when.. When they both at at the same time.

 

I didn't read through all the posts, so I may be repeating what's been said...

I found that I was happier and my two were happier on a schedule. I followed their lead and it's changed a lot over the last several months.
But that's us and what works for us.

I think if you are happy and they are happy with the way things are, try not to worry about it. And don't let others fool you into worrying about it!