Eye contact

My ds doesn't make really good eye contact when I hold him up and talk to him tho he will smile. He likes to look around at other things and look to the left or right. No matter how hard I try sometimes. Then there are other times like when he is eating his bottle he looks right at me or when I'm craddling him right before he sleeps he will look at me. When I have him laying down like to change is diaper he will look. Is this an early sign for autism? Is it too early for him to show signs if he had it? Am I being concerned for nothing or is this normal for a baby. My dd loves to look right at me. She could stare at me for hours if she could.

 

Although I don't know about autism signs, I would not worry too much. You seem to be comparing your babes and you have to remember all babes are diiferent! I think because he is smiling is a good sign that all is o.k.. He could just be interested in whats around him, and that is pretty normal.

 

I don't know when my girls started making eye contact consistently. I remember that one would look at us all the time and the other would rarely (and usually while feeding)... as you can see its not an issue now since I can't even remember which one wasn't

I think its way too early to start thinking about soft-markers for Autism, but if you are concerned talk to you pedi at your 4 month appointment.

 

My girls still won't look at me if I hold them in front of me. They both will look in the opposite direction. I can move them or my head to try to make eye contact and they simply turn their heads. They smile and babble and coo, etc during diaper changes or if they are across the room or during a feeding. I just don't think they like it when I or DH is right in their faces.

 

I was all worried about this this morning with Jack, with the exact same fear that it was a sign of autism...he also is much slower to respond to his name than his brother, but this is what I keep telling myself:

1) Not fair to compare two very different boys.
2) I think it's in Brazleton's Touchpoints that some babies just don't like to look directly at people - it's too much stimulation for them. These babies tend to be very visually oriented and love to look at other things, but people can be too much.
3) He DOES look at me in certain situations and he clearly loves interacting during those times - diaper changes, after feeding, after a good nap - so it's not like his brain is wired wrong.

But I'm sure I'll worry about this again tomorrow, unless something else comes up to worry about instead.

 

Sometimes babies will avoid eye contact to avoid overstimulation - you are just too darn exciting! :lol:

Also, I think signs of autism usually don't show up until about 1 yr old (IIRC - could be wrong), so it's early anyway.

Also agree with pp - it is SO easy to compare babies. My DD is more social, makes more eye contact, imitates more, and DS is more like "Yeah, I love you, now let me go CRAWL!" It's all part of the fun of the "two for one" package, I guess.

 

I think it's way to early to be concerned, my DD is definitely the more social one, she smiles and looks people right in the eye, whereas DS is too busy exploring everything around him, the only way to get a smile or eyecontact out of him is during a feeding or diaper change. I saw somewhere not too long ago that one of the first soft markers for autism specrtum disordres was not babbling by a certain age, I think (but please don't quote me) it was 10-12 months. And the typcial onset of autism is right around 18 months.

 

Whew, I feel a little better now. But just like the pp...I will probably worry about it again later just so I can worry about something else tomorrow hehe.

Thanks you guys :good:

 

Yeah I would worry. It just sounds like he is noisey and wants to know what is going on around him!

It is hard not to compare babies. I try not to but I do and catch myself.

Claire will avoid making eye contact with DH...not so much me. It is kind of funny!

April

 

I was reading your post earlier as I was holding DS on my lap. Not 5 minutes earlier, I was trying my hardest to get him to look at me, but he was more interested in looking anywhere but at my face. Everything else in the room seemed way more interesting! However, other times, he loves to look at me and "talk" and smile like crazy My DD, on the other hand, is just like yours...... I've decided that they are just two different kids, and I should stop comparing them....

I'm a behavioral/developmental pediatrician and a large portion of my patients have autism. Your babies are waaaayyy to young to be showing any definitive signs of autism. It's definitely important for all parents to keep an eye out for any developmental concerns, but usually the earliest that we can make a diagnosis is about 18 months. Before that, there is just too much variability of "normal." Please don't worry -- your babies sound completely within the range of normal. If you continue to have concerns about eye contact, social interaction, language delays, no pointing or gesturing closer to one year old, then I would mention this to your pediatrician. Until then, enjoy your beautiful babies and thier individuality!

 

I tried really hard not to compare (don't we all?!) but one of my boys was much more interested in making eye contact while the other was a tougher sell. He has gotten better over the past couple of months, but there is a definite difference... they are SUCH different people!!

I agree with the general consensus... follow your instincts and don't hesitate to mention it to your doctor if you feel concerned, but try to relax and see how things play out-- they are still really young and will develop so very rapidly in the coming weeks!

 

I had the same concerns with one of my boys, but learned that (1) it's too soon for autism signs and (2) boys tend to make less eye contact and smile less as infants. That made me feel better!

 

About a month ago , i was having same concerns with ds. No eye contact and still had neck control problems. I think overnight, all is good now.Its really hard not to compare them. I try my hardest not to though. Everyone says girls develop faster then boys. But i've found that children in general all develop differant.Ds is doing things that dd isn't and vice versa.

 

My cousin's baby was diagnosed with Autism at about 18 months. Though I know there is lots of variability even within the spectrum itself, here were some indicators for them that things were not right. He never smiled, didn't start any vocalizations (even cooing) until he was about a year and avoided all eye contact in any situation. With my own twins I noticed that my DS was slower to smile initially and avoided eye contact for quite a while. The PPs are right - Try not to worry.

 

My one dd did this as well until she was about 6 or 7 months old. I was also concerned but one day I tried holding her back from me a little bit more when I looked at her and found that she would make more eye contact that way. Not as much as her sister but enough that I wasn't as concerned. I know when someone is looking at me right in my face, my first reaction is to move back because they look kind of blurry and strange to me. I would say that since he is making eye contact at certain times but not at others that it is not autism. I think babies/kids with autistic tendencies don't like to make any eye contact. But if you are really concerned, deffinately ask your ped. Autism is something that can really be helped if it is detected as early as possible. Make sure you get a second opinion too if you do go that route.