Eye Contact at 6 months - 5 months adjusted

Our boy twin who is 6 months (5 months adjusted) old appears to not make much eye contact with us unless he's on the changing table. His sister has excellent eye contact. This is concerning us. Can anyone provide there experiences with lack of eye contact at this age. We wonder if it's the girl maturing faster than the boy. Of course, we immediately worry about autism since we did go through all the vaccinations. The most recent two weeks ago for the 6 month check up.

Thanks.

Debbie

They were born 35 weeks and were in the NICU about 2-3 weeks and Joshua came home on the apnea machine.
Alexandra 5pd 2 ounces now at 6 months 19 pounds
Joshua 4 pds 11 ounce now at 6 months 17 pounds 11 ounces

 

It is SO hard not to worry and not to compare when you have two babies - the exact same age - with you all day, isn't it? I'm sorry that you are so worried about your DS right now. I don't have any experience with eye contact concerns at that age, but I would say 1) All babies develop differently and on their own timeline and if he is making good eye contact on the changing table, that is a good thing. 2) It might be a good idea (and make you feel better!) if you called your pediatrician and you local Early Intervention Program for an evaluation. 3) Is he socially smiling? Babbling? Turning his head to sounds? Are other developmental milestones on target?

Autism is so hard not to worry about. I'm a special ed teacher and I swear I breathed a sigh of relief when my older DS reached the age of 2 or 2.5 years old -and I'll do the same with these two. It is just so hard not to worry about it. But, honestly, he's really young to think about autism. Have his eyes been checked? Does he focus on other objects well? Reach for/grab toys? etc.

:hug:

 

There are many reasons besides autism that a baby doesn't make eye contact. He may be more interested in his surroundings unless he is in your face like when he is on the changing table. The world is a very interesting place! Here are a few questions to ask yourself: Does he smile at you/others at all? Laugh at things you do (not tickling or physical activity)? Does he play with toys appropriately? Does he attempt to acknowledge his twin in any way, even if it's just get out of my way? Does he babble? Does he seem to understand things you say to him like "do you want your bottle?" or Where's Mommy/Daddy?" If any of these things happen, you can stop about worrying about autism at this point. My twins have autism and as scary as it seems to everyone in this world, it is not so scary or so terrible. All that aside, my twins developed "normally" for the first 7 months and then regressed. They stopped babbling,stopped laughing at things we did or things they used to giggle at, they stopped understanding anything we said or at least acted like they didn't hear a thing we said. They NEVER responded to their names, ever.They made very little eye contact but never appeared to be looking at anything in particular either, unless they were fixated on a toy. They stopped playing with toys appropriately, meaning they used to at least roll a toy car back and forth but suddenly it's like they had no idea what it was supposed to do. They still enjoy turning toy cars over and just spinning the wheels. On the flip side, they never stopped enjoying affection and yes, they smile and laugh now and are very funny. They have very few words and talking just started a few months ago. (With one twin, no one but me and their therapist knows what he is saying.) They did not ackowledge the other exisited until recently as well. Although both of them always like being with their older brother. Now they fight like typical 2 yr olds!

Anyway, that all may be too much information. I just wanted to dispell a few myths and tell everyone that although autism seems like a terrible awful fate, it really isn't. It also isn't something to worry about all the time.You will know if he has it, you really will and then if he did (which he probably doesn't) you will love him and deal with it just fine. As a not so side note, my twins did NOT receive their immunizations on time and did not get any of the "suspect" vaccines prior to their regression. It is so obviously genetic in this case (hello? ID twins!) and in most cases IMHO. There is the anti-vaccine, heal/recover your child and not accept them for who they are parents and the science,fact-based, accept your child and get him the help he needs, not believe witch doctors autism parent. It's probably pretty obvious which one I am. Vaccine do NOT cause autism, period. I can't stress enough that it has been "proven" time and again there is no connection at all. Thimerisol has been taken out of vaccines yet autism is still on the rise. I can't say what does "cause" autism and it's likely a combination of so many things including genetics and environment. I mean our environment is so loaded with toxins and poisons you can't escape them no matter how holistic your lifestyle. There's more mercury in the soil around your house, the fish you eat, the grains you make bread out of etc., than in any vaccine or even the entire series of vaccines.

I hope I have helped ease your mind in some way. I am sorry if someone is offended by my thoughts. I just feel everyone is so afraid that they aren't enjoying their babies or their pregnancies anymore. At the rate autsim is growing, it will be "normal" once our kids reach High school, maybe even middle school. Maybe it is just the next step in human eveolution. There are so many variations of "normal" and autism is just another variation that we can all learn to understand and live with. Enjoy your babies and love being a Mom, that's all you should be doing. Good luck.

Kelly

 

Kelly,

That was really well-said! I think, coming from a special ed teacher's perspective, that I worry too much about everything b/c I know what all is "out there". And I hope I didn't offend you in any way when I said that Autism is hard not to worry about. I hope I did not come across as sounding like Autism is some awful "affliction" that parents have to deal with. I, in no way, feel that way about it. It is just such a well-known disability now that I think everyone scrutinizes their children looking for any possible sign. If society knew more about Fragile X or other less-known disabilities, I'm sure we would scrutinize our children for those and worry about those, too.

Your boys sound like they are doing really well - and as lucky as you are to have them - they sure are lucky to have you, too! Thanks for such an uplifting, yet honest, post.

 

Jori- we were posting at the same time and I didn't even see your post before I posted mine! No, you have no offended me in any way. Everyone hopes/prays that their children will be okay and "normal" and they will have a wonderful, easy life. That's not unusual and it's not going to stop, we are parents and we have to want the best for our children! I really understand being a Spec. Ed teacher, you have to worry a lot about what can happen or could be wrong. Honestly, things can be very difficult, frustrating and often dangerous as a parent of a special needs child and as a S.Ed teacher. When I was a veterinary technician, I worried my animals had or would have so many things, that's a hazzard of the job!

I am honestly a super positive person concerning my kids though. My days are not as easy as they could be but every moment is so worth it. Yes, it's difficult not knowing what the future will be for them and for us. However, it really has forced me to take each day as it comes and to really enjoy completely my children and the accomplishments they make and the silly things they do. It is so important for all of us to remember that no matter what you will love your child. To spend time worrying about what can happen, we might miss something so special- time loving and enjoying your children. This is true for all of life, really. Blink and you'll miss it! Thanks for appreciating what I have to say. I just want people to see the positive, good things for a change!

Kelly

 

Kelly, I just got through reading your post and WOW, you're boys are so very blessed to have you!!

 

Thank you so much for the quick response. We will keep a watch on things and reassess in a few weeks.


QUOTE(mama23boys @ Dec 29 2008, 07:27 PM) [snapback]1125757[/snapback]
It is SO hard not to worry and not to compare when you have two babies - the exact same age - with you all day, isn't it? I'm sorry that you are so worried about your DS right now. I don't have any experience with eye contact concerns at that age, but I would say 1) All babies develop differently and on their own timeline and if he is making good eye contact on the changing table, that is a good thing. 2) It might be a good idea (and make you feel better!) if you called your pediatrician and you local Early Intervention Program for an evaluation. 3) Is he socially smiling? Babbling? Turning his head to sounds? Are other developmental milestones on target?

Autism is so hard not to worry about. I'm a special ed teacher and I swear I breathed a sigh of relief when my older DS reached the age of 2 or 2.5 years old -and I'll do the same with these two. It is just so hard not to worry about it. But, honestly, he's really young to think about autism. Have his eyes been checked? Does he focus on other objects well? Reach for/grab toys? etc.

:hug:

 

Wow these are all good questions. I will make it a point to pay close attention to all these things. Whatever we are given we will take. We love our children so much. You sound like a great mother. Your children are very lucky to have you.

QUOTE(KellyJ @ Dec 29 2008, 07:34 PM) [snapback]1125765[/snapback]
There are many reasons besides autism that a baby doesn't make eye contact. He may be more interested in his surroundings unless he is in your face like when he is on the changing table. The world is a very interesting place! Here are a few questions to ask yourself: Does he smile at you/others at all? Laugh at things you do (not tickling or physical activity)? Does he play with toys appropriately? Does he attempt to acknowledge his twin in any way, even if it's just get out of my way? Does he babble? Does he seem to understand things you say to him like "do you want your bottle?" or Where's Mommy/Daddy?" If any of these things happen, you can stop about worrying about autism at this point. My twins have autism and as scary as it seems to everyone in this world, it is not so scary or so terrible. All that aside, my twins developed "normally" for the first 7 months and then regressed. They stopped babbling,stopped laughing at things we did or things they used to giggle at, they stopped understanding anything we said or at least acted like they didn't hear a thing we said. They NEVER responded to their names, ever.They made very little eye contact but never appeared to be looking at anything in particular either, unless they were fixated on a toy. They stopped playing with toys appropriately, meaning they used to at least roll a toy car back and forth but suddenly it's like they had no idea what it was supposed to do. They still enjoy turning toy cars over and just spinning the wheels. On the flip side, they never stopped enjoying affection and yes, they smile and laugh now and are very funny. They have very few words and talking just started a few months ago. (With one twin, no one but me and their therapist knows what he is saying.) They did not ackowledge the other exisited until recently as well. Although both of them always like being with their older brother. Now they fight like typical 2 yr olds!

Anyway, that all may be too much information. I just wanted to dispell a few myths and tell everyone that although autism seems like a terrible awful fate, it really isn't. It also isn't something to worry about all the time.You will know if he has it, you really will and then if he did (which he probably doesn't) you will love him and deal with it just fine. As a not so side note, my twins did NOT receive their immunizations on time and did not get any of the "suspect" vaccines prior to their regression. It is so obviously genetic in this case (hello? ID twins!) and in most cases IMHO. There is the anti-vaccine, heal/recover your child and not accept them for who they are parents and the science,fact-based, accept your child and get him the help he needs, not believe witch doctors autism parent. It's probably pretty obvious which one I am. Vaccine do NOT cause autism, period. I can't stress enough that it has been "proven" time and again there is no connection at all. Thimerisol has been taken out of vaccines yet autism is still on the rise. I can't say what does "cause" autism and it's likely a combination of so many things including genetics and environment. I mean our environment is so loaded with toxins and poisons you can't escape them no matter how holistic your lifestyle. There's more mercury in the soil around your house, the fish you eat, the grains you make bread out of etc., than in any vaccine or even the entire series of vaccines.

I hope I have helped ease your mind in some way. I am sorry if someone is offended by my thoughts. I just feel everyone is so afraid that they aren't enjoying their babies or their pregnancies anymore. At the rate autsim is growing, it will be "normal" once our kids reach High school, maybe even middle school. Maybe it is just the next step in human eveolution. There are so many variations of "normal" and autism is just another variation that we can all learn to understand and live with. Enjoy your babies and love being a Mom, that's all you should be doing. Good luck.

Kelly