Extremely frustrated

I am thinking about going back to work after 2 1/2 years off. We need additional income to afford a house payment (currently renting my mom's house with my sister, her husband, and child.) We are ready to be on our own.

The problem is that Kendall will not take a bottle. Doesn't matter the nipple or if she is starving. She screams bloody murder. I tried giving her one the other night and she gagged on it and then projectiled vomitted on me. She is constantly hungry and feels like she is feeding 24/7! I have no time todo stuff with the boys and hubby, let alone go back to work.

I just don't know what to do anymore! This mommy is about to go crazy!

 

What happens if someone else tries to give her a bottle?

 

Same thing. DH and my sister have tried and she just fights it or gags.

 

When would you be going back to work? Your ticker says your little one is just 5 weeks old. Are you thinking of going back ASAP or in three or four months?
What do you do? Will it be easy to find a job or will it take time? What hours are you likly to be working? Full-time or part-time? Who will take care of the baby?
Have you tried breastmilk in the bottle or did you try formula?

 

I would like to find something in the next month or two. My MIL would probably be watching her and the boys would go to preschool 2 or 3 days a week. I would liketo go back full time.I have tried both formula and breastmilk.

 

It will be hard with a baby that small, but thousands if not millions of women do it.
I don't have much advice on getting a baby that small to take a bottle, but I have hear that she shouldn't be straving. And you should not be in sight.
I do have experience with something called reverse cycling. Which I still do with my son--but we didn't start until he was 7 months old (when I went back to work). In reverse cycling the baby goes long stretches without eating during the day instead of durning the night and feeds every couple of hours during the night. This will not work for everyone because it depends on how you get your sleep. I'm a light sleeper who falls asleep easily and is good at assimulating expected sounds. For example when I lived near the emergancy room enterance of the university hosiptal in college I got used to hearing ambulances at night and they didn't wake me up anymore after the first few weeks. But my roommate couldn't come home after I was asleep without waking me up. Anyway, I cosleep with him and I'm able to get him latched and feeding and fall right back to sleep. Now he latches himself and I have no idea how many times he feeds at night, but he doesn't feed from 7am to 3pm. (He does eat and drink water durning that time). Like I said we started this at 7 months so he had a solid feed while I was gone and water with that. He also slowly got acustomed to drinking milk from a sippy, but he never really liked bottles much. If you go back when your daughter is three months old thats still too early to start solids and other drinks, but you should look into reverse cycle breastfeeding I've heard that moms do it from younger ages.

ETA: This site seems helpful in your situation
http://www.workandpump.com/gettingstarted.htm

 

Holly,

Here's the good news- there are a TON of growth spurts in the first 6 weeks. Mine had one at 6 weeks that was brutal- I about went nuts. This is good as it establishes your supply. It also means she won't be hanging on you forever, always. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Mine hated bottles, too. Orion gave me such a face/stink eye at 5 days old I vowed not to give him another. That being said, if you need to work, how about a syringe of BM slowly given to her?

I would advise you to not be home and for her to NOT be starving. She probably won't be happy to take a bottle (which she doesn't like anyway) when she's really clamoring for you. :hug:

 

Let me rephrase, she cluster feeds around 7:30-9:30 at night. That is when I feel like my milk production is at its lowest. I feel like she can't get enough of me at this point and seems starving. That is when we try to give her a bottle. She will latch on hard and suck, but it's like my milk isn't coming out fast enough for her. I will pump a little and see if she will take some from a bottle. My DH tries to get her to suck the bottle, but she just screams. I will then offer my breast and she hastily latches on to it like she hasn't eaten in hours, but might have eaten only 30 minutes to an hour ago.

 

This is very, very normal newborn behaviour! Cluster feeding in the evenings is common & is partly because that is when your milk supply is lowest. However, the bonus is that because she is nursing so frequently, the fat content of your milk is quite high. Eventually, this will be her milk "stockpile" to get through her long night time sleep stretch. Once she is latched on & nursing, is she fairly content at the breast? (More on cluster feeding) If this is happening every evening, your best bet would be to just plan for it - have a book, laptop, favorite tv shows or movies handy & just plan to sit on your butt & enjoy the down time. :hug:

In terms of getting her used to a bottle, I would try another time of day where she's more settled & content. Maybe after a morning nap? Plan to be away from the house & leave a bottle with your partner or someone else to try. Maybe be somewhere close by so that if she's still really upset about it, you can always come back & nurse. Hang in there! She will get it.

 

That's exactly what I was thinking--fussy evening baby--sounds like at least 50% of all newborns.
I totally second the idea of try offering a bottle at a totally different time during the day. Go grocery shopping at a little before she would normally feed, leaving her at home with someone and a bottle and see what happens.

 

Yup- sounds normal to me, too. It's awful but I promise she won't do it forever. Hang in there for a little longer and she should start to settle in. During these times I made a point to try to nurse every hour from 4-10. :hug:

 

You will be able to make it work! It seems impossible now but it will get a lot easier in the next month or two. Mine cluster fed like crazy in the evening. I went back to work at 8 weeks and my DS had some bottle refusal issues but once I was at work DH was able to work with him and get him to take it. Since she will be staying with your mother, you can just talk to her about trying different things, a syringe, a small cup, etc if she absolutely refuses the bottle. I promise you she won't starve herself! I also agree with the others to try the bottle at a time of day when she is not cluster feeding and maybe when she is a little sleepy to see if she fights it less then.

 

Thanks ladies! I read the Kellymom article about cluster feeding and it sounds like what she is doing at night. I'm ready for it to get easier because I'm getting a little cabin fever!

 

Totally understandable! :hug: Hang in there - it feels like forever right now, but it really will be over & gone in the blink of an eye. To combat the cabin fever, do you have a backyard or deck where you could nurse outside in the evenings? Could you arrange to have some friends over to watch chick flicks (tell them they have to bring chocolate) while you nurse one evening?

 

Such a good idea! You can go over to their house, too. Maybe different walls'd be good for you to look at. I also would nurse and as soon as they'd be done hand them off and stand up. Take a shower. Anything that involved movement- I was so tired of sitting still!

It really won't be long now before she's sleeping at night and nursing at more manageable times. You are SO CLOSE!!!! :youcandoit: