Explaing why we have twins to others...

Tomorrow I hit 3 months and so far so good. Now that we are telling people we are pregnant, and with twins, the first question they
ask is"do twins run in your family"?... We conceived twins as a result of clomid, nothing else. My family all knows, and they are just thrilled,
my husband's family doesn't even know that I"m pregnant yet. My question is, what is the simplest way to answer without feeling like I"m explaining
everything (I had 3 early miscarriages), specially random people... any suggestions are welcomed

 

I feel lucky b/c twins do run in my family so I just answer yes, but I think you have several options depending on the person.

Random person in grocery store: Tell them yes and walk away
Friends: If you don't want to get into the clomid topic, just tell them "no they don't run in the family, we're truly blessed". (that can be used at the stores too)
Family: Let them know about the miscarriages and then will understand. There is nothing to be embarrassed about.


BTW: This will not be the last of the many person questions strangers will ask you. Once you are bigger, you will get "when are you due?" everytime someone see you and then you can shock them by telling them "in 3 months" and watch their jaws drop. It's great fun! When the babies are born, a whole other list of annoying questions from strangers emerges.

 

My girls are born already but I get that question all the time still do. Random people ask me If tood fertility drugs to have them or whether they were invitro - these are people I do not even know.


I just tell them we were blessed with two and that they do not run in my family we were just lucky and leave it at that. My girls are identical so there is no rhyme or reason for why we had twins.

Wait till you have the babies and people will look at you and say are they twins? Is one a boy and a girl even if they are both in pink or blue!

 

Congratulations! You can always answer yes to strangers like pp said (some people with twins think, "well they do now"). You can also say, "we just got lucky."

 

As Megan said, for family simply explain the circumstances, they should understand.

For everyone else, my favorite answer to this question is "They do now!"

Or you can also answer, "Nope, we just got lucky!"

Either answer should end the questioning!

 

I think we all have had that and then some questions. The best is to answer just what they ask without elaborating, unless you want to. Twins does not run in my family but my dh has a fraternal twin aunt and uncle. The family use to say oh it must come from your husband cos he has twins in his family. I just use to say short and sweet, no it doesnt. They normally just drop it then. I think they ask just as a matter of fact.

 

QUOTE(Gimena @ Mar 18 2008, 08:14 AM) [snapback]674250[/snapback]
Tomorrow I hit 3 months and so far so good. Now that we are telling people we are pregnant, and with twins, the first question they
ask is"do twins run in your family"?... We conceived twins as a result of clomid, nothing else. My family all knows, and they are just thrilled,
my husband's family doesn't even know that I"m pregnant yet. My question is, what is the simplest way to answer without feeling like I"m explaining
everything (I had 3 early miscarriages), specially random people... any suggestions are welcomed



get ready ... you'll hear a whole gamut of questions .... depending on my mood, sometimes I'm nice, and sometimes I'm not. MY GF who adopted twins from China tells me it's worse when the babies are here. People apparently 'stalk' her in the stores, looking for the opportunity to ask her a question!

 

QUOTE(mommymeg @ Mar 18 2008, 07:19 AM) [snapback]674257[/snapback]
Once you are bigger, you will get "when are you due?" everytime someone see you and then you can shock them by telling them "in 3 months" and watch their jaws drop. It's great fun!


I LOVE this one… I get “any day now” from acquaintances and strangers… and I just love saying, no I still have till mid May (really that’s 40 w mark…) but it is still fun to watch them have the look of horror… or their eyes go to me to my tummy, to me to my tummy…

 

I would agree with everyone's suggestions! I really like the answer "they do now" to the question "do twins run in your family?" And just wait til they get here- the questions will never end, nor will the attention! I love it, though. Being a mom to twins is a very special, unique experience and I love talking to people about it! Congratulations on your twins!

 

It is personal for everyone. Some don't like talking about their fertility and some don't mind. I don't mind. People ask me this still that the babies are born...I reply "No we did IVF" even though people ask the question, they don't say another thing about it after (like it isn't something they can build a whole conversation about). If you feel moody, you can just say "Why do you ask?" they probably won't expect that and might leave you alone or you can use the quotes from pp's, (those are great too).

 

My family knows we used Clomid, but for strangers and people at work who ask those questions I simply say - we were very surprised. Then it is usually pretty easy to change the subject.

 

QUOTE(e mauro @ Mar 18 2008, 07:05 AM) [snapback]674420[/snapback]
I LOVE this one… I get “any day now” from acquaintances and strangers… and I just love saying, no I still have till mid May (really that’s 40 w mark…) but it is still fun to watch them have the look of horror… or their eyes go to me to my tummy, to me to my tummy…



This always makes me laugh as well. Just watching their faces crack me up.

To the questions I usually just say no they don't run in either of our families and leave it at that. Sometimes if I'm feeling talkative I will explain we did IVF

 

If I don't feel like getting into it, I usually say "No, just lucky."
If I feel like educating someone, I say that we did IVF. (But then sometimes people still ask if they run in someone's family. )

 

I was lucky enough to get pregnant with my twins via IVF after 2 miscarriages, and 3 IUI cycles. But, I rarely get into that when I get the question "do twins run in your family" if it's someone I don't know. I used to say, "We had help" and they would say "Oh....". But, now, I just say. "Yes, on my Mom's side" Which is the truth. I don't like to fib but they are asking "Do they run in the family?" and the truth is "Yes!".
You will get in used to the questions and your responses as those questions will keep on coming as you get bigger and bigger!! Congratulations!!!

 

Repeat post..sorry.

 

I know what you mean... DH and I just tell most people "Just lucky I guess" or "they run in the family now" because we don't need to share that much detail. For our close friends and family we told them, it was truly a natural freak of nature that this happened. We weren't on fertility treatments, and twins do not run in either family going wwwaaaaayyyy back for many many generations. We don't know if they are identical or fraternal yet, the docs think it could be either way but won't commit to either until they're born. THat's just too much detail for most people.

 

We used Clomid, but when people ask if twins run in the family, I just answer yes (my brother has twins, grandparents on both sides have twin siblings, etc.). Find a twin in some generation of your family, I'm sure there must be one hidden somewhere (LOL!), and answer yes. :icon_biggrin:

I don't really get into the details unless it's a really close friend, or someone else struggling with infertility, etc. It's probably much more information than strangers/acquaintances making casual conversation want to hear, you know? "Yeah, I took this medicine, and then had to have intravaginal ultrasounds (wanna hear more about that?) to make sure I didn't have too many eggs. Oh yeah, and before that even started, I had to have a test where some guy took an instrument and poked my ovaries to make sure that they would release eggs. Now let me tell you about my IUI..."

And about the "when are you due?" questions. By the end (living in the south), I would just get the :icon_eek: look, and "Bless your heart!"

 

I answer depending on my mood. Sometimes I will out and out lie and say "they run in my family" .. sometimes I'll tell the truth and say IVF ... sometimes I just say things like "No, we had a little extra help" ... It's funny, because I've mentioned to people how I have twins and my cousin has triplets, and they always say "What a fertile family!" ... and then I laugh and say "Not so much, that's why we have multiples!"

 

I'm enormous so I am getting those jaw dropping looks when they ask when I am due and I say not til June. Then I feel like I have to tell them it's twins. I get the same questions EVERY TIME!

When is baby coming? (2 Babies are coming in June)

Do you know what you're having? (2 Girls)

Are these your first? (No, I have 2 sons)

Are they twins? (No)

Do twins run in your family? (No) I don't feel the need to explain our IVF procedure to strangers.

This was fun at first but now it's getting old. Unless I am in the mood to talk I just answer the question when are you due with SOON!

 

I just say "nope we got lucky." And we did. No one needs to know how they were conceived.

 

Thank you all for your responses and suggestions, I don't feel like such an outcast now and found your responses quite entrataining

 

We did IVF and have twin boys. They are 22 months now, But twins do runs in my family on both sides. We were asked and still get asked if they run in the family. We always say yes, but sometimes we tell people we did IVF. We have 11 frozen embryos and are going to try again for a girl. If we end up with twins again, and they are boys or just one boy then we will be happy. It all depends if you want to share that info and if they either have more questions and want to hear about it. Its all about what you feel like telling people.

 

I conceved the twins through a frozen egg transfer and the first question out of EVERYONES mouth is "don they run in the family" and I simply say "they will in 9 months!"

I think its rude for people to ask, and they think that asking this particular question will get them the answer they are looking for without sounding rude, but regardless, its rude if they ask at all! People should say - "thats awesome!" and thats it. Just my opinion.

 

the number of times i then heard "well, you don't look big enough for twins" made me :crazy: :laughing: come on people! make up your minds - either i was huge or i wasn't.

to the OP - i think you've gotten lots of great responses to choose from. welcome to the club! i'm sure you'll soon have your own witty come backs to share.

 

I usually just say "no" or "they do now". We didn't have any "help" but I think I would answer the same way if we did. I usually don't get anymore questions after that. Just go with whatever you are comfortable with. Good luck!

 

My mom is an identical twin and I am having fraternal twins (which do not run in my family). I can say yes to the "do they run in the family" question and often do, but then always want to explain that it's not the same thing. So I just say it was a complete surprise- which it was! I just thought I was further along than I had originally thought. We didn't find out there were two until 17 weeks so by then it really was a surprise! My doctor still keeps showing me the 7 week u/s picture and how you can only see one baby in it.

 

I just wanted to add- I am 34 weeks with our girls and measuring about 42-43 weeks and people keep coming up to me and saying "Oh I was that big at 3 months with my son/daughter!" I always say "wow you must have been really big by the end of your pregnancy because I'm measuring past full-term! It always makes me laugh!

 

It's SUCH an odd question to ask someone. Since we didn't do anything special, I like to be a bit bold and just say with a straight face, "We had sex!". I like to think it makes people pause a bit & re-evaluate the question.

 

My 2 are 8 so I've been getting this question for a looooong time! My favorite answer to do twins run in your family is "yes, they run run up the stairs, down the hall, through the kitchen....". People usually laugh and leave it at that. I have had complete strangers ask me "what drugs did you use to have them?" in front of my kids, which is really awkward, esp. when they were in 1st grade & learning that "drugs are bad". They would look at me with big confused eyes & I would get so angry at the person so I'd say "I don't understand what you mean? I've never done any drugs." and they would shut up. If the kids weren't with me I'd say "Why do you ask?" & people would either look ashamed to have been so rude or would say because they were having fertility problems and if that was the case I would be truthful about the roller coaster that is IF treatments. Just as annoying is that I have 3 boys & people constantly ask "Are you gonna try for a girl?" like my sons aren't good enough. The best answer I've had for that was when one of the twins, knowing how annoying that question is, spoke up and said "No, she's going to try for triplets!" :rotflmbo:

 

Love it! :rotflmbo:

I went to the park on the weekend with my 2 children and had 3 seperate, complete strangers come up to me and ask if I was having twins! I realised then, that I must really be quite big. I guess you kinda get used to yourself and forget how others must see you lol!

We also visited family and my husband and I took our 2, plus 3 neices and nephews out and I looooooooved seeing people look at the 5 kids we had with us, then to my belly, then back to all the kids and to my belly again. My husband and I had a good giggle about it and I told him I should make up a sign that says,"Yes I am pregnant and no they are not all mine!" :crazy:

 

haha...This post is funny because I think everyone of us here have had these questions asked. I've had tons of people ask me if they are "natural". We conceived on Clomid too and when I am asked this questions I just say, "Why do you ask?". That usually gets them. Or I'll say, "yea, they're natural, I just dropped more than 1 egg."-HAHA! Funny to watch their faces on that one.

I am almost 19 weeks now and already have people tell me that I look like I'm about the pop! It's absolutely humerous to watch their expression when I tell them I'm not due till the 28th of August. Priceless! I usually let them stand in horror for a few seconds until I tell them I'm having twins. I guess if you can find humor in these stupid questions and comments, it only makes it fun-hehe Good luck to you and both babies!

 

I am just recently showing and have had the question at least a dozen times already. We didn't have any help conceiving and twins don't run in my family. Our twins are identical and there isn't proof that it's caused by something genetic anyway. I guess I don't assume that people are digging for info about whether you used some method of assistance to conceive when they ask that question. I just think it's an obvious thing for them to say to show interest and initiate more conversation. If I had help with fertility or conception, I don't think I'd tell anyway. It's nobody's business. If you want them to know (like close friends or family) they probably already do know.

 

I just say Yes and keep walking. Just be prepared, once they are here its a circus freak show everywhere you go. When you are pregnant it gets annoying, but not that bad. Once they are here you are sleep deprived and super busy and you don't feel like being nice to strangers who ask you a million questions. I know people are just making small talk but if I hear one more person say "you have your hands full", I am going to lose it!

 

I put on a big smile and say, "nope, this is the first pair on both sids - everyone is so excited!" This usually steers the converstation in the right direction. On the few occasions that someone has bluntly asked (very rare) I just say, "well, we had a little help". This is the understatement of the century

 

My story really depends on how good of a mood I'm in. It can range from one or all of the following: (We have all kinds of weirdness in our story.) We did an IUI with our first son, now with our twins we had completely given up after 5 more IUIs. Then bingo we get pregnant with di/di twins totally naturally. But there are two sets of twins in my family - my mother is an identical twin and my paternal grandfather was a fraternal twin. Not that either of those two facts matter, but its still fairly humorous to me People usually get more than they bargain for when they ask me why we are having twins! I guess it all boils down to it was meant to happen.