ever get mad at yourself?

I know being a mom of twin tooddlers is challenging and we have to give ourselves a break sometimes and give credit for the amazing job we are doing, but having said that...sometimes I look back at my morning or dinner time, whatever, and replay the battles in my head and think I'm too harsh w/them. This happened this morning when they were packing up to go to my mother's (she came super early and we were just getting up) but Ashley wanted to take MY toothbrush instead of her own, so I said "I don't care what you say, your not doing that." Fastforward to me packing their clothes and she was scaling her closet, I said "Ashley get out of here!" Then when they were gone and I had time to process what I said it sounded so harsh. I feel awful. I know that 90% of the time I am loving and patient, but I get so mad at myself when look back and I know I did a crappy job handling things. I guess I just want to commiserate and know I'm not alone at losing it sometimes. I think it's those tantrum moments or those moments when they are doing something that I've told them not to do 10,000 times that really get to me. I need to start counting to ten before I speak! Thanks for letting me vent :blush:

Diane
Ashley and Maddy -3 next month!

 

:hug99: I do it all the time!!! I feel the slap of my impatience when they MIMIC me with each other and boss each other around!! :cray:

 

Oh all too often here. I always think back to how I could do things differently. Hearing stories or just seeing other moms I think I am missing something. I see how laid back some parents are and wonder why I am not that way and then realize when I am contending with 2 three year olds if I am laid back then they are WILD. It doesn't seem fair to them but at the same time what can we do, have complete chaos with our children?

 

Thanks so much for responding...I know if the great mothers here at twinstuff are feeling this way too, I can't be that bad! It helps to know I'm not alone

 

I definitely lose it with them at times. I am pretty patient most of the time, but I'm also only human and sometimes my patience is VERY short. I think its usually at the end of the day, when I'm "done". If they get wild at bathtime, I often snap and yell and then think to myself, "was that really necessary?" It really doesn't phase them though and they forget quickly. I try not to beat myself up too much when I yell, and just hope I'll have more patience next time.

 

Sadly, that happens almost daily here. I WISH I could say I'm patient and loving 90% of the time, it's more like 75% of the time with me. I'm trying really hard to change but there are days that I really, really struggle. Don't beat yourself up too much, we've all been there.

 

QUOTE(~* dfaut *~ @ Apr 24 2008, 08:58 AM) [snapback]736923[/snapback]
:hug99: I do it all the time!!! I feel the slap of my impatience when they MIMIC me with each other and boss each other around!! :cray:


Yep, I do it too. I'm not a patient person by nature so sometimes I can't help myself. Amazingly my Mom always compliments me on how much patience I have for them when in reality I feel like I have ZERO patience for many of their antics!

 

Yup the other night the children went to bed and I went to put in some laundry. I was down in the basement and I hear footsteps (which I shouldn't because they just went to bed). One of the children is standing at the basement door wanting to show me the puzzle they just completed (they are allowed to read or do puzzles for 15 minutes after they go into their room but they are supposed to stay in their room) and I tried to be calm about it but they kept going to I said "I don't care, you are supposed to be in your room". I couldn't believe those words came out of my mouth to a small child. Later on the same child came out again while I was on the couch, gave me a hug and kiss and went back to bed without saying a word. I guess I was forgiven but still thought of it often and it still bothers me (here I am writing about it over a week later). I just take these things as stepping stones to learn from and hopefully not repeat!

 

I had that day two days ago. DS broke the dishwasher, DD had a fever and was just crabby little DS just wanted his sister to play with him, dh was away, it was 10 pm and everyone was still awake... so I screamed at the top of my lungs and everyone cried. Boy did I feel like a bad mom!

 

Thank you so much for posting this! There are so many nights lately that I lie in bed and feel guilty about losing my patience with the girls, even if it's just getting frustrated b/c I have to tell them three times to climb into their car seats so we can go. And I feel just terrible when we're all tired and cranky and they are crying and whining and I have to yell just to make myself heard. I feel like such an awful mommy when that happens!

I'm just so glad to know that it's not just me...that all these TS mommies that I admire so much have the same moments.

 

Oh man, yesterday was one of those days for me. I went to bed feeling so sad for how impatient I had been with him throughout the day. When he woke up this morning and gave me a big hug I was so relieved! At least we get a fresh start everyday!

Reyna

 

almost everyday.
One of mine is VERY challenging and really, the whole family pays for it. I hate to say it but it's true.

 

Yes, all too often.

It got to the point where I felt like I was always angry with them and then I think it starts to affect their behavoir--I take a step back and tell them and me that they are good. I now made it part of our good morning and good night routines, telling them that they are such good girls, so pretty and smart and capable, that if they work at it they can (and will) do anything they want in life. I think it has helped all three of us.

 

QUOTE(FirstTimeMom814 @ Apr 24 2008, 08:21 AM) [snapback]736977[/snapback]
Yep, I do it too. I'm not a patient person by nature so sometimes I can't help myself. Amazingly my Mom always compliments me on how much patience I have for them when in reality I feel like I have ZERO patience for many of their antics!

Ditto to Trish except that I'm fairly patient. I used to be far more patient before I had 3 toddlers. :crazy:

 

We're all human. A good friend of mine goes by the 90/10 rule of parenting....as long as you're the best parent you can be 90% of the time, you can forgive yourself for snapping the other 10%....

In school, a 90 is still an A, right?

That said, yeah. I do feel badly when I lose patience with my older DD, because when she's bugging me it's usually because she wants to play or show me something or ask me something, and I'm knee-deep in poopy, cranky babies while trying to have a conversation with DH, and can't deal with one more thing.

 

Oh sweetie, you are so not alone. I have totally done exactly what you described. In fact, it happened today...TWICE!!!! <_< I felt so bad and apologized to them within about 20 seconds of it happening. It only took me that long to realize that I was being not so nice. You just kind of uncontrollably lose control sometimes when you are caught up in the moment. I usually say something like, "I'm sorry baby. Mommy is just really tired. I'm sorry. It's not your fault." I feel better then and I can see in their eyes that they totally forgive me. That's the great thing about unconditional love. So, do I get mad at myself? Yes. But I try to apologize and if it's to late for apologies (like they won't remember why I'm even apologizing) then I just try to give them extra hugs and kisses and playtime and everyone feels happy.

 

Thanks for all the replies..today was a better day!

 

I feel like that every day. Why didn't I do this instead of that ? Why didn't I handle that situation better? I shouldn't have raised my voice like that. Then I realize, raising two three year olds is VERY, VERY hard work and I need to cut myself some slack. You need to do the same!!!
Mike