End of day fussiness or hunger

At the end of the day, my twins (8 weeks 3 days today) get really fussy. DH and I completely disagree about the reasoning for this so we thought we'd get the forum's thoughts.

Typically, about 4 in the afternoon, the twins cry. Sometimes the cry escalates to a scream complete with coughing. We change diapers, check to make sure no one is cold, cuddle and sing to them, basically we run through the list of everything that could be wrong, then we get to the option of feeding - and that's where DH and I reach different conclusions.

DH thinks that if they are crying and we've tried everything else, we should feed them regardless of how soon it is after they have just eaten. I think that sometimes the girls get what I call "end of day fussiness" that cannot be soothed and feeding them is not necessarily addressing the "problem."

I have the girls on a loose schedule (they eat every 2:30 - 3:30 hours), but we are not bound to the clock. Our last feeding before the crying varies greatly from 2:30 hours to 30 minutes.

Basically DH thinks I am adhering too rigidly to a schedule and not addressing their needs. I think sometimes babies cry and you cannot console them. I further think that, although feeding may make them quiet, it may not be addressing hunger.

Who's right?

 

Ahhh, the witching hour! Many, many babies do tend to get really fussy around 5:00 in the afternoon. I don't really know why, maybe just overstimulated by the end of a busy day learning new things? Anyway, it's very common. But, you could always try giving them a small bottle & see if it helps. It would make your husband happy & likely prove yourself right at the same time!

 

I think your husband may have it right on this one unfortunately lol. Babies of that age tend to fuss in the evenings it's true, but they also tend to want to cluster feed leading up to bed time. Mine in the early months would cluster feed every hour or two (or sometimes even 30 mins!) during the last I'd say third of their wakeful "daytime" so maybe between 4 and 8 pm. I finally clued in and started to purposefully cluster feed them rather than fight it and they were always happier babies and easier to get to bed. It's very normal behaviour for this stage, so I'd offer a few extra feeding closer together in the evenings. They'll grow out of it soon

 

personally i'd try the bottle no matter how recently they fed. my thought is, try everything before deciding nothing works. they could be cluster feeding, they could be in the midst of a growth spurt, or it could just be witching hour crabbiness. who knows? but i would try the bottle and see if it helps. who knows, they may not be hungry but nursing could be comforting anyway.

 

If its been close to the 2 hr mark I would maybe try feeding. If they just ate I wouldn't think they were hungry. We definately experienced the "witching" hour. Happened everyday for a few months right when daddy got home from work. Poor daddy!

 

it is probably the combination of the two, I agree with pp. If the bottle helps, I don't see why not.

 

I'm so glad you posted this. We are having the exact same problem. Our girls are about the same age, two months old. The only different is the difficult hours starts much later than yours: 8ish. Just about when we are ready to send them to bed. They would drink the normal 3 oz, sometimes would finish the bottle, sometimes not, then they would cry, seems like they are suffering from not able to sleep. Then they would probably fall asleep for a few minutes then wake up screaming. Sometimes it appears that they are bothered by thier gassy stomach. This will go on and on for about an hour then they would want to eat again. So I'd make a 2 oz bottle for whoever that's crying, and sometimes another 2 oz after another half hour-45 mins. And I do really think that they are hungry. This nightly episode would go on for about 2 hours. It is very fustrating. We are going out for the Disney broadway "Lion King" tonight with our two older children. After last night's episode, I was worried that our nanny who nomally comes in a few hours during the day won't be able to handle the babies at night. I ended up calling a teenage student to come in to help out the nanny.

 

We had this, too, and they were breastfed, so the logic is that BM digests faster. I did every 2 hours during the day then 3 hours at night (sometimes they would do a 4 hour stretch...)

I would give in and feed them 1.5 hours after they last ate, but not earlier unless they were going through a growth spurt, obviously. I figure it's okay to get hungry a little early, but nobody needs to eat a meal, then another full meal 1/2 hour later.

Mine were gassy and had a milk intolerance- they gave up their fussy ways when I gave up dairy. That might not work for you, but maybe gas drops or a bath when they start fussing to distract them?

 

I am having the same problem also. Mine are 2 months tomorrow and they always get fussy after their 4pm bottle. I don't think it's hunger with mine though. They eat 4-5 ounces every 4 hours and they are on a pretty regular schedule, that they put themselves on. They eat at 4am, 8am, 12pm, 4pm, and 8pm, give or take a half hour. I have found that they are fussier if they didn't get a good nap in after their 12pm bottle, but sometimes they just cry for no reason that I can figure out. The only way I can stop it is if I get up and run around the house with them, chasing the dog. Or get up and dance with them. I think it's just their fussy time of day. I do feed them earlier sometimes if they are acting hungry, like chewing on fists or spitting out binks. I'm hoping they out grow it soon .

 

Mine eat every 3 hours during the day (like 6, 9, 12, and 3). But they usually take a bottle around 5pm after we get home from daycare (a smallish one), and then a large one again at bedtime at 6:30 pm. It helps a little with the crabbiness, but this is a bad time for many kids....

 

I agree with pp. I think it's a combination of the "bewiching" hour, as well as some hunger. And if it were me, I would try the bottle first-or somewhere in there while trying to figure out why they are fussy. It certainly can't hurt!

I remember just waiting for dh to get home from work at 5pm. I watched that clock like a hawk! :laughing: There were many times dh would come home and I would have two infants in my arms, dancing around the kitchen, just trying to keep them happy!

Good luck!

 

Well, we were both right - thus both wrong I suppose. When the time came yesterday, we checked everything and were still having melt downs. So, on to food we went. They did snack, and that held off the witching hour a little, but by 6:30 they were turning from food and just fussy. We decided to step outside and give all of us a breath of fresh air so we could regroup... and that calmed the girls! So tonight we are going to try another walk. Keep you posted.

 

Sounds great! I think some fresh air is always good-and it's a change of scenery too! Get out there, walk around, and explain to them what you see, hear, etc. It will do all of you wonders!

 

I'm glad you found something to help! We had that too, diagnosed as colic finally at 4 months old!!!! My dd was worse, we were given stronger gas drops/colic meds which helped a little. Most nights involved one of us holding both crying babies, trying everything known to us experienced parents to get them to calm down, while the other one raced around getting the older kids to bed, so that we could each take a baby and try to get them to calm down. Cluster feeding helped a bit, the gas drops helped a bit, bouncing, rocking, singing, swaddling....actually tightly swaddling our dd and holding her close while swinging side to side or bouncing helped her the most. If we could do that and get her to sleep, she'd cat nap off and on most of the evening until bedtime.

Oh it was a looooooooong few months until she outgrew her colic! Thankfully her bro wasn't near as bad, he had his moments but not like rylee did!

:hug: I feel your pain! :hug:

 

Mine definitely needed to cluster feed at that age...it helped because after they cluster fed from 5-7 they would sleep a good 5-6 hour stretch before waking up again. The other thing I would say is make sure they are not going too long in between naps. Mine were colicky, difficult babies and would go from happy to overtired in the blink of an eye. They never really showed tired signs till much older and we learned the hard way that when they were overtired they would just cry and cry and fight sleep. Once we started watching the clock and making sure they were never awake for much longer than an hour, the witching hour became less unbearable. Are you nursing or bottle feeding. If you are nursing, you can't overfeed because they can use it as a pacifier too. At this age, you can't spoil them, so it never hurts to offer.

 

No real advice, but one of my twins gets fussy from 5-9 every night, without fail. So frustrating.

 

We went through the same thing (and still do, sometimes). Big hug to you.

 

Funny you should mention the napping. My fussiest girl has been fighting naps like crazy lately. I have been thinking over-tiredness was factoring in. We're doing everything we can to get her to nap better, but she's hit and miss during the day - a great sleeper at night. We don't believe in CIO at this age, but welcome tips on helping her nap.

BTW - we're nursing, except for the pre-bed bottle when we load them up so they sleep. Usually the combination of their fussiness and the big bottle wipes them out for 4.5+ hours.

 

I will never forget the period from 7 or 8 weeks to about 4.5 mos. We had the witching hours every night. One of my LOs had colic very bad and her tummy just rumbled and rumbled. This is about the time I believe when it starts hitting. It started around 5 pm, very fussy until 7ish, they slept from about 7-9 pm, and then we were up with them until 1 or 2 am with my colicky LO every single night - DH and I took turns. It was literally the most exhausting part of the year. I think taking them out for a walk is a great idea! Nursing helps so much...I nursed that girl a LOT at night. Good luck to you...I do remember a short, very hard few weeks and then she was just better. Hang in there mom and dad!