Encouraging the "lazy" one

How in the world do you encourage someone that is just too lazy to try? And how in the world do you encourage them through that WHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Even asking Aaden to put his shoes on results in an overdramatic, "I can't do it", 10 minute fiasco. We tell him that we can't understand or help him until he stops whining that he "can't" do something and than we usually ask him to try again and if he can't do whatever than we will gladly help.

So does anyone have any tips or tricks on how to encourage the ones that just. can't. do. it. (insert whine here)?

 

Royce went through a pitiful whiny phase last year. "I just can't do it" was his mantra. I would tell him that I could put on his shoes or he could put on his shoes for him, and let him choose. I wouldn't make a big deal of it because that just seemed to make it worse and last longer. As for the whining itself, yeah, they know I don't understand whining.

For what it's worth, he still prefers us to get him dressed, but on the flip side, he also prefers to let us pick out his clothes and shoes, so we only have one of those battles to fight in the morning.

 

Both my DS and DD will do this. As you have noted, sometimes they do it because they are too tired or for some other reason prefer not to do the task themselves. In these situations, like the PP, I just let it go and do it for them. Other times, they truly don't understand or feel overwhelmed by the task. In those situations, I either demonstrate how to do the task for them and then ask them to do it again ("You put your sock on like this. Do you want to try the other one?") or I break it down into smaller steps ("You first need to pick up both of your shoes from the middle of the floor. Now place them to the right of the front door, near all the other shoes."). In these situations, I usually ignore the whine in favor of getting the task done without adding to their frustration level with another correction. Oh, the joys of parenting! GL!

 

Cricket went through this phase last year too... so maybe right around the age of your son. She would whine about anything requiring effort, even walking herself to the front door. And she was completely incapable of helping clean up, always telling us that she was too tired. For awhile I fought her on it and insisted that she try, but that just resulted in more whining and wasting time. So I started ignoring her whines and doing the easy stuff for her (putting on shoes, taking off shirts) with no fuss. And I made her part of clean up as simple as possible. Within a few weeks she was back to her normal somewhat lazy self and no longer whining about everything.

It's an annoying phase, but I think I learned that indulging your child for a month or two while they work out the laziness will not spoil them forever.