Eliminating feedings

Part of the process of eliminating feedings during the night is to slowly decrease the amount of formula you give the baby (babies) for several days in half ounce increments until you get to zero ounces.

My question is...once you start decreasing the amount of food- won't the babies start to wake up sooner because they didnt eat as much as normal.

For example. I am thinking that if you normally feed your baby 4 ounces and in a couple of days you are down to 3 ounces...won't she wake up sooner because she is hungry sooner?

Also, if you get down to zero ounces- what do you do when your baby wakes up...just put them right back down? :huh:

 

This is just my personal opinion...I think that babies need night feedings especially as young as yours. I think there is a reason they are waking. But to answer your question...that seems like it would cause them to wake sooner but who knows!

 

QUOTE(mctwins @ Feb 9 2008, 12:49 PM) [snapback]614255[/snapback]
This is just my personal opinion...I think that babies need night feedings especially as young as yours.


I agree. I am not ready to start sleep training...but do LOVE the idea of getting more sleep. I am just trying to figure this whole thing out when I do decide to give it a shot.

 

My interpretation of this was that whether or not they wake up sooner, you're supposed to use the other calming techniques to get them to go back to sleep until their next "allowed" feeding time.

I read this book in the same place you're in right now - desperate for more sleep but not ready for sleep training. But then I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and chose to focus more on following their sleepy signals then on any kind of rigid sleep-through-the-night program. Every baby is different, but mine definitely need to eat at night.

 

I used that book faithfully and it worked. BUT, I did not start getting serious about the schedules until the boys were a little past 2 months old and I eliminated the night feedings last. To answer your question, you have to get the daytime eating under control before you can even start trying to eliminate the night feedings. Once your kids are consistent with the daytime eating - and by consistent, I mean several days to a week of being on schedule with daytime eating and getting enough to eat, then you can head into the nighttime feeding. If he/she is getting enough during the day, then eliminating the nighttime feeds won't be so much an issue as being hungry, but breaking a habit. I'm rambling, so let me get back on track...if your babies are eating enough during the day, then they won't wake up earlier at night as you eliminate a feed. They will make up for it during the day. For every ounce/half ounce you eliminate at night, add it to a bottle during the day. I usually added it to the first AM feeding, when they are hungriest and as you work on eliminating the night feedings, you will find that they won't wake up. IF they do, follow her advice, give a pacifier, etc., but don't feed them after you have gotten down to zero. Like I said, this method worked great for us and the boys were STTN at 4 months. If you need more details or "tricks" let me know. Just be sure to get that daytime schedule down before you start working on the PM.

 

QUOTE(benderboys @ Feb 9 2008, 01:43 PM) [snapback]614311[/snapback]
If you need more details or "tricks" let me know.

I would absolutely love any tips or tricks you have.

Right now our daytime schedule is a mess. I can say the only thing I am good at is watching for their tired signs and making sure they are not up longer than 1.5-2 hrs at a time. As for their eating, I hate to admit- but I feed them when they wake from a nap and whatever they didnt finish (breast milk in a bottle) I will try to give again right before I put them down for their nap. I really dont even track often they eat during the day. It is not consistent...which is probably part of my problem.

I am sure like you said, starting with the daytime is key.

 

It took me awhile to get the daytime schedule to stick. I think what helped most was being on a 3 hour schedule (roughly) before and then gradually working towards the 4 hour mark. If you are just starting out, I would figure out what schedule will work for you, i.e. 7-7, 8-8, etc. and start with the AM feeding. So, if you want to "start" at 7 AM, for the next couple of days, feed your babies at 7 AM and STICK WITH IT!!! This book will not work for you unless you are consistent. Once they get comfortable with the 7 AM feeding, then work towards the 11 AM. That doesn't mean to withhold food until 11 AM or else you fail, but simply work towards 11 as a goal. Like I said, it takes a few days to reach each step and then these steps build on one another. If they are hungry at 10:15, feed them, but keep going towards 11. You get the idea. Your babies are still pretty young, so they are probably pretty hungry and I wouldn't try to make them go 4 hours. Things really started catching on here around 3 months and then bam! They were sleeping.

 

I read the 12 Hours book you are referring to when the boys were about 4 months old. The decreasing of ounces during the night feedings worked like a charm for us - we slowly decreased the milk until they skipped it completely. They still woke up at the same times to eat - not necessarily earlier. Good luck!

 

QUOTE
As for their eating, I hate to admit- but I feed them when they wake from a nap and whatever they didnt finish (breast milk in a bottle) I will try to give again right before I put them down for their nap. I really dont even track often they eat during the day. It is not consistent...which is probably part of my problem.


Why do you hate admitting that you feed babies when they're hungry? Especially so young? It sounds like you're doing something very good for your babies. And EBM is liquid gold, I totally understand not wanting to waste it.

Why exactly are scheduled daytime feedings supposed to make babies sleep better at night? Have any good studies proven this?

Anyone can say that scheduling daytime feedings causes better nighttime sleep, but the fact is that virtually ALL babies start sleeping longer and longer stretches at night with time. (And if they don't, how exactly is a daytime feeding schedule supposed to make them sleep at night?) It's easy to give credit to the feeding schedule, but correlation does not equal causation. Remember that Simpsons episode where Lisa picks up a rock and tells Homer sarcastically that it's a tiger-repelling rock, and he's skeptical, and she says "Well, you don't see any tigers around, do you?" and then he's convinced?

Please keep in mind that breast milk (since you're feeding EBM) takes 90-120 minutes to digest. Also that the American Academy of Pediatrics says that babies should be fed on demand, not on a schedule. It's hard enough being a baby without the grownups telling you that you can't eat when you're hungry. (And yes, pushing a baby to go longer and longer between feedings, no matter how "nice" you are about it, IS telling them that they can't eat when they're hungry.)

I know you're tired and you need to catch up on sleep, but there are better ways to do it than trying to get very young infants to go VERY long stretches of time between feedings. By all means get your DH on board! Take turns with feedings, or do shifts, but by all means make him do his share! They're his babies too.

 

My boys came home from the hospital on a 4 hour feeding schedule. I maintained that schedule during the day, and let them wake me at night. I would also wake them during the day to eat. At 8 weeks, we did as you described and started with a 4 oz. bottle. One night when they were down to 2.5 oz. one night, I gave one the paci while I got the bottle ready, and he never woke back up! Within 3 days both slept through that feeding. At that point they started eating 6 oz. bottles instead of 4 oz. At 3 months, we were still giving them the last bottle at 11pm. My mom asked why I was waking them to eat, so we stopped waking them for the 11pm bottle, and they started sleeping from 7pm to 8am. At that point, they also increased to 8 oz. bottles.

 

I think scheduling feedings had a lot to do with my boys happiness and sleeping habits. I believe that waking them to eat during the day, helped to get a routine for them. My friends were amazed at how easily my boys would go down at bedtime and naps--like clockwork. Once they followed my lead, their second children did the same thing.

 

QUOTE
I think scheduling feedings had a lot to do with my boys happiness and sleeping habits.


Why is a feeding schedule supposed to make babies happy? Would you be happier getting to eat only at intervals determined by someone else, or according to your appetite?

And why is a feeding schedule supposed to create good sleep habits?

 

QUOTE(fuchsiagroan @ Feb 9 2008, 04:33 PM) [snapback]614451[/snapback]
Why is a feeding schedule supposed to make babies happy? Would you be happier getting to eat only at intervals determined by someone else, or according to your appetite?

And why is a feeding schedule supposed to create good sleep habits?


My children didn't cry to be fed. As a matter of fact, Marcus was a 4 hour alarm clock from the day he came home. Every 4 hours he woke or cried to eat. If I tried to feed him early, he would drink a sip or two, and then not look to be fed for ANOTHER 4 hours!

Like the PP said, they were used to the routine. If they were looking for food at 3 1/2 hours instead of 4, they got it. Even now, at age 5 1/2 my boys look to eat at 8, noon, and 5. They rarely snack, that is what their body looks for. They have always been happy babies and children.

 

QUOTE
but I really think that scheduling keeps babies content and calm because it is consistent and they know their needs will be met.


So do you believe that babies who eat and sleep on demand DON'T know that their needs will be met? If there were some really, really incompetent parent out there who was so dumb and lackadaisical that they just wouldn't get around to feeding and napping their baby, then a schedule would certainly be an improvement. But I've never met anyone (IRL or online) that bad.

Think about it: if you feed babies when they're hungry and put them to sleep when they're tired, they know that their needs will be met. They know exactly what to expect when: food when hungry and rest when tired. OTOH, if babies are on a schedule, they know to expect their needs NOT to be met right away. Which is also a form of predictability, but not one I'd choose for my kids.

QUOTE
Feeding schedules help create good sleep habits by giving your child adequate intake of food during the day, so they don't have to wake at night to be fed.


So do you believe that babies who get to eat when they're hungry DON'T take in adequate food during the day? How does allowing a baby to eat only 4 times a day, at times of your choosing, IMPROVE the "adequate intake" situation over demand feeding? (Again, it would be a clear improvement in the case of the totally incompetent, indifferent parent who wouldn't get around to feeding a baby without a clock to remind them - but again, I don't know anyone like that.) Also, strict feeding schedules have been condemned by the AAP for causing dehydration and failure to thrive - which doesn't exactly sound to me like ensuring adequate intake...

Sure, if a baby is getting enough during the day and is metabolically ready to go 12 hrs at night (and btw, HSHHC, which is backed by actual scientific research, says that babies may need to eat at night up to 9 mo), then they can do without night feedings. But so far I haven't seen a single logical argument about how a daytime feeding schedule contributes to that.

 

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As a matter of fact, Marcus was a 4 hour alarm clock from the day he came home. Every 4 hours he woke or cried to eat.


Whenever a schedule discussion comes up, this contradiction comes up: someone says something like "I PUT my babies on a x-hr schedule and it made them sleep well," and then they say "I'm not withholding food, my babies only WANT to eat every x hrs!"

So if your babies only want to eat every 4 hrs, and you feed them every 4 hrs, then you're feeding on demand. Where's the "schedule"? If you want to give feeding patterns credit for sleep patterns (a mistake, but a popular one), then that sounds like a victory for demand feeding, not schedule feeding. :lol:

 

I just wanted to add there is a HUGE difference to formula and breast milk. Breastfeeding including EBM should not be done on any rigid schedule as it is digested much faster than formula. That must be accounted into the decision making process.

I will also say that even feeding on demand, my children has a most definite schedule. Babies are not greedy nor are they manipulative, If they want to eat chances are they are hungry. Good luck and remember the first few months are tough but you'll make it through!

 

Wow - this could go on forever. Look, who really cares whether you schedule or not, we are all taking care of our babies the way we think best. Those who decide that schedules would work for them come here for advice and real life experiences on what works best. Same for people who don't feel schedules would work for them. Most "baby books", sleep or otherwise, are good for use as doorstops and that's about it.

You obviously disagree with all things not HSHHC, so why do you care about a scientific explanation for something you aren't going to use and don't agree with?

The AAP also reccomends against putting babies to sleep on their stomachs, using walkers and a million other things, but there are a lot of people who do these things, me for one.

I let my babies sleep on their stomachs, use walkers, I've changed diapers in moving cars, nursed in moving cars and probably everything else you shouldn't do. Might as well add scheduling to the list! Since my kids have only been to the pedi for well baby check ups, I would say I am doing okay.

Bottom line - lot's of different opinions and that's great. You gotta do what works best for you and sometimes what works best isn't always backed up by scientific research or logical explanations.

 

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why do you care about a scientific explanation for something you aren't going to use and don't agree with?


Plain insatiable curiosity. The people who rave about schedules give the appearance of having put a lot of thought into the issue. I'm asking questions because I want to know the answers.

QUOTE
sometimes what works best isn't always backed up by scientific research or logical explanations.


Sometimes something gives the appearance of working, or gets credit for working when it's really just age and maturity doing the job, and this is where logic comes in. All I've really heard here is "I did x and my babies slept well," not WHY doing x would MAKE a baby sleep well, especially versus doing y. You might as well credit the good sleep to your choice of diaper brand or crib mobile - I'm only seeing coincidence, not cause and effect. So if someone can explain the cause & effect part, I'd like to hear it.

 

QUOTE(benderboys @ Feb 9 2008, 07:36 PM) [snapback]614575[/snapback]
Wow - this could go on forever. Look, who really cares whether you schedule or not, we are all taking care of our babies the way we think best. Those who decide that schedules would work for them come here for advice and real life experiences on what works best. Same for people who don't feel schedules would work for them. Most "baby books", sleep or otherwise, are good for use as doorstops and that's about it.

Bottom line - lot's of different opinions and that's great. You gotta do what works best for you and sometimes what works best isn't always backed up by scientific research or logical explanations.


Well said, some things work for some people and other things for others, the key is to find what works for your babies and stick with it.

 

QUOTE(benderboys @ Feb 9 2008, 07:36 PM) [snapback]614575[/snapback]
we are all taking care of our babies the way we think best.

Wow! Wow! You are right and you are right- this could go on forever. Don't get me wrong. I am tired and sleep deprived, but I am not looking to starve my babies for a few extra hours of sleep. I agree with you in that babies need a schedule in that they need consistency and routine to feel secure. That includes being fed when hungry, being put to bed when tired...and if it fits in a schedule even better!
Yes, we all care about our babies. I don't feel it is necessary for my babies to wake up in the middle of the night if they dont need to be because it is distruptive to their sleep. I also dont want them to be hungry, so when the time is right I plan to implement a plan that will maximize their nighttime SLEEP all the while giving them every opportunity to make up the amounts during the day!

Whew!

 

QUOTE(fuchsiagroan @ Feb 9 2008, 04:11 PM) [snapback]614430[/snapback]
Why do you hate admitting that you feed babies when they're hungry? Especially so young? It sounds like you're doing something very good for your babies.


I hate admitting that the day is a blur and I don't keep track of when they eat OR how much. Something I feel I should be doing. Yes, in essence I am feeding on demand and my babies needs are being met. BUT, for my own sanity- it would help me to know how much they are getting and how often.

QUOTE(fuchsiagroan @ Feb 9 2008, 04:11 PM) [snapback]614430[/snapback]
I know you're tired and you need to catch up on sleep, but there are better ways to do it than trying to get very young infants to go VERY long stretches of time between feedings. By all means get your DH on board! Take turns with feedings, or do shifts, but by all means make him do his share! They're his babies too.

Please don't get me wrong. I AM tired, but my babies come first. I am not looking to starve my babies for a few extra hours of sleep. My babies get up several times a night. If they are not HUNGRy, I would rather them sleep and have uninterupted sleep for as long as they can. As I said in another post, my babies are hungry at night and I know this. I am looking for information for the future when I feel they are ready. Yes, my babies are young and I am certainly not trying to push something on them they are not ready for.

On another note, my husband is on board. I have said that he doesn't get up with the babies every night in the middle of the night- but this is more my decision than his. That doesnt mean he isnt on board and it certainly doesnt mean he doesnt do his share. As far as I am concerned, he DOES his share by helping to take care of our twin girls, our other two children and anything else I need him to do.
Because I don't have my husband do shifts with me every night doesn't imply at all that he isn't doing his share. This is just one thing I would rather do myself, no matter how much it takes away from me sleeping.

 

What did people do before there were "miracle books" telling us how to raise our kids?? It's nothing short of miraculous that there are ANY human beings on the planet older than the books LOL. I think we worry ourselves into thinking we need the BEST book and the BEST methods or something terrible is going to happen.

Simply not true.

I am guilty of this. First time mom, twinfants and I'm a perfectionist.. I bought EVERY book and DVD that I could find. I did all the research I had time for.. and at the end of it what did I do??? Whatever my boys wanted me to do! They are 18 weeks old now ( 13 adjusted) and I thought I was working hard to make them the BEST babies and I could only do that by KNOWING the most! Simply not true. These guys do what their age tells them to do. If I'm reading a book and I PUSH them on something and they aren't ready- it isn't going to work. I've tried. What I have realized with time is that these "things'' STTN, and all the other stuff COMES WHEN IT'S TIME! (For us at least..)

I have a masochistic side that says "Learn MORE!! If you know it all-- you'll do better for your kids." I now disagree with my former self I think I need to trust them and they will trust me. So far, without my 'book learned intervention' things have gone just fine.

I know that we all love our kids and we ALL do what is best for them no matter how we get there. I don't think anyone doubts that.

You need to do what FEELS right for you and your babies. For me, I decided, it was not pushing.. it's just me being patient more than anything else. It's tough sometimes but at the end of the day- I feel they are doing just fine and every day that goes by; I am learning more from them than I could EVER hope to learn from a book.

Now if I could just get all of the money back for those books!! LOL.. And of course, I'll buy more.. Take Care!!

 

QUOTE(ivfbound078 @ Feb 9 2008, 08:36 PM) [snapback]614634[/snapback]
Now if I could just get all of the money back for those books!! LOL.. And of course, I'll buy more.. Take Care!!


Amen! I am very guilty of this as well! I did this when I became pregnant, worrying myself to death about all of these things that COULD happen...that I normally wouldn't have known about if I hadn't looked up everything there was to read about being pregnant with twins on the internet OR buy 8 books on having multiples.

Oddly, I had my first son when I was 20. I was a single mom. I had nothing and I certainly didnt have a computer for the internet or money for multiple books. My son was the most happy and content baby I have ever encountered and I chaulk that up to God.

For some reason I am compelled to read and do research to see what other people are doing. If anything, it is fun to be a part of a world that most people aren't a part of.

 

QUOTE(benderboys @ Feb 9 2008, 09:15 PM) [snapback]614662[/snapback]
Lavollmer - whatever you do, your babies will be fine. Good luck, glad you are gathering info in advance of sleep training and just let me know if I can help.


I appreciate the help! Thanks so much for your insight and taking the time to share!

 

QUOTE
I really believe that consistency and scheduling contribute to the happiness and calmness of my boys. They know what to expect and when to expect it. In my case, my kids thrive on a schedule. This may not work for every baby, but I really think that scheduling keeps babies content and calm because it is consistent and they know their needs will be met. I get comments ALL the time about how content my boys are all the time and I know this is because of their routine. Don't get me wrong, they have their moments, but they are few and far between. Feeding schedules help create good sleep habits by giving your child adequate intake of food during the day, so they don't have to wake at night to be fed. Metabolically speaking, there is no need for a baby to wake at night to eat once they reach an appropriate weight/age. I am sure there are special cases, but generally speaking, they don't need to eat at night.



I agree with you 100% - this is exactly how my babies are too - they really thrive on a schedule. When we occassionally are "off-schedule" all 3 of us are just out of sorts and cranky! All of what you said applies to my girls as well - they are such happy and content babies!

My babies don't eat during the night, they don't need it. I read somewhere that once they reach 11 pounds it's no longer physically neccessary for the baby to have that night feeding.

 

QUOTE(ivfbound078 @ Feb 9 2008, 07:36 PM) [snapback]614634[/snapback]
What did people do before there were "miracle books" telling us how to raise our kids?? It's nothing short of miraculous that there are ANY human beings on the planet older than the books LOL. I think we worry ourselves into thinking we need the BEST book and the BEST methods or something terrible is going to happen.

Simply not true.

I am guilty of this. First time mom, twinfants and I'm a perfectionist.. I bought EVERY book and DVD that I could find. I did all the research I had time for.. and at the end of it what did I do??? Whatever my boys wanted me to do! They are 18 weeks old now ( 13 adjusted) and I thought I was working hard to make them the BEST babies and I could only do that by KNOWING the most! Simply not true. These guys do what their age tells them to do. If I'm reading a book and I PUSH them on something and they aren't ready- it isn't going to work. I've tried. What I have realized with time is that these "things'' STTN, and all the other stuff COMES WHEN IT'S TIME! (For us at least..)

I have a masochistic side that says "Learn MORE!! If you know it all-- you'll do better for your kids." I now disagree with my former self I think I need to trust them and they will trust me. So far, without my 'book learned intervention' things have gone just fine.

I know that we all love our kids and we ALL do what is best for them no matter how we get there. I don't think anyone doubts that.

You need to do what FEELS right for you and your babies. For me, I decided, it was not pushing.. it's just me being patient more than anything else. It's tough sometimes but at the end of the day- I feel they are doing just fine and every day that goes by; I am learning more from them than I could EVER hope to learn from a book.

Now if I could just get all of the money back for those books!! LOL.. And of course, I'll buy more.. Take Care!!


LOL! I do the same thing with the books! And then I confuse myself with all the different information I've read because everyone has an opinion and they all contradict each other, so it really is obvious that they are all just opinions! I still like to read them though, just because the babies are such a gigantic part of my life right now!

 

Fuschia's comment about cause and effect (and the Simpsons) reminds me of another important point here, which is that sometimes the babies temperament is the most significant indicator of when they eat, sleep, etc. There are some extremely regular babies who only eat every four hours and sleep through the night early and are really easy to figure out - they fall into a schedule and stick to it and it looks like it was the schedule that made them happy and not the other way around.

But believing that all babies SHOULD behave this way is the source of a lot of anguish for babies and their parents. Which gets us to parents figuring out what works for their kids and sticking with it. I just think it's worth saying here, in the midst of this conversation, that 12x12 and Babywise and other formulaic books forget to tell you that temperament makes a difference and a little insight can go a long, long way.

 

I can only speak from my experience. My babies eat on demand and I credit this to them growing from five pounders being born at 38 weeks to 11 lbs. 10 ounces and 12 lbs. 8 ounces at two days shy of three months. I always figured that they eat when they're hungry and they know what their little bodies need. I do not feel comfortable dropping any night feedings, and honestly, they have been steadily sleeping longer times on their own. I do not think dropping feedings (or weaning) would work in our case.

 

I also think that Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child will be the answer to your prayers. I never worked specifically to cut out night feedings, but thanks to a great routine (put in place after ready HSHHC) my boys stopped eating at night at 3 and 3 and a 1/2 months. Just my personal opinion, but I would not have been comfortable "cutting out" feedings at that young age unless my babies gave me the go ahead (i.e. started sleeping through).

 

QUOTE(lavollmer @ Feb 9 2008, 02:49 PM) [snapback]614362[/snapback]
I would absolutely love any tips or tricks you have.

Right now our daytime schedule is a mess. I can say the only thing I am good at is watching for their tired signs and making sure they are not up longer than 1.5-2 hrs at a time. As for their eating, I hate to admit- but I feed them when they wake from a nap and whatever they didnt finish (breast milk in a bottle) I will try to give again right before I put them down for their nap. I really dont even track often they eat during the day. It is not consistent...which is probably part of my problem.

I am sure like you said, starting with the daytime is key.



Please remember that if you are breastfeeding (even expressed milk) you really should be feeding on demand. If you are not you are in danger of losing your milk supply. I know sleep sounds great, but you have to follow your babies signals. Start tracking their wake/sleep/feeding routines. Write everything down. I know it sounds anal, but if you do it fora week or two you will get a clear picture of what is happening. Basically, my first suggestion would be to make sure they get at least 8-10 feedings during the daytime. If you are feeding Breastmilk remember that it digests more quickly and they will want to eat more frequently. They should be eating a minimum of 8 times a day and sometimes more like 12. The theory is that the more you feed during the day the more likely they will sleep longer at night. By longer I mean like 4 -6 hours and more likely 4 at their age.

As far as pumping & feeding goes... I know it is hard! I did pump & feed for the first 3 weeks andf I thought I would die! Seriously consider contacting the hospital lactation consultant and getting a consultation. This is what saved my life!!! I got a lactation consultant to come to my house and within 2-3 home visits my babies we feeding at the breast, and now they are pros! I think if you can get them at the breast you will feel less tired and you will get more sleep. I would say that at night I sleep a minimum of 6 hours and so do my babies. They sleep in a cosleeper next to me and if they wake at night I bring them (one at a time) into bed with me and feed. Generally we both fall asleep and generally they wake once a night. I put them down at 10:00pm and Ethan usually wakes around 4am and Ian wakes around 5am. Then they sleep until about 8:30/9:00. I also feed them whenever they want to eat during the day, which is a lot. I try not to let the sleep more than 3 hours at a time so that they are eating every 2-3 hours during the day. SInce they are now on the breast totally, there are no bottles to wash, no pump pieces to wash and things are pretty easy. I do still pump occassionally so that if I am going to be away from them they havemilk, but it is not an every day event. Good for you for feeding BM! Youare doing great if you are pumping & feeding, but trust me it is so much easier getting them to the breast. You will sleep more!

In terms of the On-Demand feedings versus the scheduled baby goes... I think you will find that when you trach the feedings for a few days that the babies will naturally have their own rhythems and schedules. Like I said mine just naturally seem to need feedings at 4 & 5 am like clockwork! In fact, my husband doesn't even set his alarm to get up in the morning... Ian is his alarm So please, don't think that if you do things on demand that you don't have a schedule. It may not be guided or driven by you, but it is definately there!

 

what an interesting thread....sort of veereed off in a new direction.

A few thoughts on feeding, sleeping and schedules.

Feeding - becca pretty naturally put herself on a 3 hour schedule around 2-3 months. Jake did not and we *fought* him on it (folks told us he was snacking, etc) until we had an appointment at the NICU clinic and the dr said "he may be hungry an hour later...he's trying to catch up (he was iUGR). After that we fed on demand and we had a very happy baby. I don't think low birthweight is your situation, but I use Jake to illustrate the "risk" of listening to folks advice without looking at your individual children (I know that's not what you are doing at all...).. .

Around 9-10 months, once we introduced solids and cheese, Jake really started doing better. BUT he still wakes up sometimes b/t 4 and 6 am and we feed him. I know those who would say it's wrong, it's snacking - but with Jake it's true hunger. I know, because he usually takes 3-5 ounces. I'm not proud of this and I wish it were different, but I feel such guilt about letting him "go hungry" when he was littler because he "needed to be a on a schedule" that I can't even risk that he may be hungry.

Schedules - It was so hard in the beginning because the kids were so unpredictable....I was so jealous of my friend who had her singleton on a schedule from almost the beginning...she did it with her second child as well (including CIO at 10-12 weeks w/both girls). But we got through it and eventually at 6 months (?) they got on a pretty predictable schedule.

I think the most important thing is to do what works best for you. It's so stressful with twinfants - but it does get better and the sleep will come

sorry, i guess i went off on a tangent, but this thread really touched a nerve (ok a lot of nerves!) with me.

 

QUOTE(akameme @ Feb 10 2008, 01:56 AM) [snapback]614932[/snapback]
but this thread really touched a nerve (ok a lot of nerves!) with me.


Well, apparently it has touched a nerve with a lot of people. The only nerve it has touched with me is people assuming things about me just based on a few questions here or there.

The fact of the matter is, having twins is the hardest thing I have ever done. They are completely two different people with different personalities...sleep cycles, hunger needs, etc. SO, I ask advice or thoughts.

This has been interesting and helpful reading.

 

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The only nerve it has touched with me is people assuming things about me just based on a few questions here or there.


Just want to clarify - despite all my touchy nerves I wasn't/am not making any assumptions about you, and hope it didn't come across that way.

This twin thing is sure hard, isn't it? I can't imagine a tougher job! Unfortunately, those babies are going to need to eat at night for a while - but it shouldn't be too much longer until they start giving you some longer stretches. Meanwhile, sounds like your DH is doing a wonderful job helping you take care of everyone. Still, have you thought about maybe reconsidering having him take over at least one night feeding here and there? Even if you could just get 4 hrs of uninterrupted sleep, you'd feel like a new woman.

Agree with what pps said - babies are geniuses at creating their own "schedule." You're still in the crazy newborn phase, but they will get more and more predictable over time. I do everything on demand, but my babies' demands have gotten so predictable that to an outsider it would probably look like I'd put them on a schedule.

Keeping a log to track patterns is also a great idea. My DH made up a chart with Excel to tick off all the important stuff (feedings, diapers, sleep). If you want I'd be happy to email the file to you. Just PM if you're interested. Totally know what you mean about the days being a blur - I found it very helpful to have a quick, easy way to keep track of who did what when.

Oh, & forgot to add a big WTG for pumping for your babies! You are doing some seriously hard work to give them the best possible food. :clapping: